71 results for author: Constance Ray

Lies in Grief: “My Body is Bad”

Friend, since becoming a Hope Mom, have the negative voices in your mind—and the ones around you—intensified? Losing a baby makes us especially vulnerable to believing lies about ourselves and God. Having to unexpectedly say goodbye to our babies breaks our hearts, creating cracks that need filling. Unless we fill those cracks with God’s healing truth, the enemy is going to fill them with his lies. This month I am going to be covering what God’s Word says to some of the common lies found in our community of Hope Moms. We were never meant to live life alone, and that is especially true in grief. I pray this month’s reflections help you ...

Mental Health Moment: Why Is It So Hard to Believe My Baby is Gone?

One of the hardest parts in the aftermath of losing a baby are constant reminders of them. Empty nurseries. Phantom kicks. A saved pregnancy test on the counter. Baby showers to cancel. Encroaching due dates. Exciting news that was never given a chance to be shared.  Bodies that remind us they were once creating life, but now are not. These reminders proclaim that there once was something to celebrate, but now they are not here, and they won’t be coming back. (Mama, if you need to pause with that last statement and cry your eyes out, go right ahead. Death is worth shedding tears over (John 11:35).) Our Hope Babies’ absence is not only ...

What hasn’t changed

Hi friend, Thanks for being here and walking through this conversation on identity with me over the last few weeks. We’ve talked about not recognizing ourselves anymore and about who we are now. And after everything we’ve walked through together, there’s still one question that rises in light of it all. If I’ve changed… and if I don’t fully recognize myself anymore… then what is still true? Because when so much feels uncertain, our hearts begin searching for something steady to stand on. _____________________________ What Hasn’t Changed After loss, it can feel like everything about you has shifted, such as the way ...

Who am I now?

Hi friend, Welcome to Part 2 of our Identity After Loss series. If you missed Part 1, you can read it here. There are questions that come after loss that you never expected to ask. They don’t always show up right away. Sometimes they hit you in a random moment, and other times they come all at once. But eventually, many of us find ourselves sitting with the same question. Who am I now? _____________________________ Who Am I Now? Before loss, I didn’t spend much time questioning my identity. I knew who I was. I knew what my life looked like. I had a sense of direction and confidence in where things were headed. I believed, ...

Today belongs to you, too.

Happy Mother’s Day. As I type these words, I feel the weight of what they hold for a Hope Mom. I wish I had the perfect words for you, something to say that could meet every ache and every question sitting in your heart. The truth is, I don’t, but I can sit here with you, and I can remind you that you are not alone in any of this. I am praying that you feel carried by the grace God has for you today. He will meet you in each moment as it comes. You don’t have to have what you need for the whole day all at once. He will give it to you as you go. His grace is sufficient for you. I’m praying that you feel cared for in tangible ways. That ...

When you don’t recognize yourself anymore

For most of us, there is a moment after loss when we realize something we didn’t expect. In our grief, we begin to see that we’re not just grieving our babies, but the million little losses that come with it, too. One of the biggest is noticing that we don’t quite feel like ourselves anymore. I’m sharing this as part of a short three-part series on identity after loss, because this piece of the grief journey can feel especially disorienting and hard to put into words. If you’ve felt this too, I hope you know you’re not alone.  Before I walked through loss, I thought grief was mostly sadness over what was gone. I assumed it ...

What does it mean to be ‘in Heaven’?

Our Easter service a few weeks ago included the song Death Was Arrested; the song’s bridge reads: Oh we’re free free forever we’re free Come join the song of all the redeemed Yes we’re free free forever amen When death was arrested and my life began As the song played, I immediately thought of my Hope Baby, William–he could have sung these words with me that very moment and meant every one of them! He is free, redeemed, and his life began the moment he woke up in Heaven.  Did you know the same is true for you and your Hope Babies? They are worshipping constantly; this means that whenever you worship, you and your babies are ...

Will I recognize my baby in heaven?

One of the things that happens after losing a baby to miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant loss is a battering of questions from deep places in our hearts, such as, “What will my baby be like in heaven? Will they always be a baby? Will I recognize them? Will they recognize me?” These are tender, personal questions that come from love and longing. We were created to know and be known, and that desire runs especially deep within families, and with our children, where bonds feel so immediate and instinctive. And while Scripture doesn’t give us explicit answers to each of them, it does give us something steady to hold onto, a hope rooted in truth, ...

What if my baby wouldn’t have chosen Him?

Every year at our Retreat we host a Q&A hour. This year we had more questions than time to answer them. The hope of our Leadership Team is that we can address some of them in this newsletter or on our podcast. One of those questions was, “How do I know my babies are in heaven? What if God knew they wouldn’t accept Him later, so they didn’t go to heaven when they died?” I think it’s likely she was asking, “If God knew my child wouldn’t choose Him later in life, is this why He chose to take them now?” What hard thoughts we Hope Moms wrestle with. Underneath these words are often much deeper fears. Fears that are both ...

Is My Baby in Heaven?

He is Risen.  Hope moms, Jesus Christ is God, put on human flesh, and died for our sins that keep us eternally separated from God. He rose from death, conquering its power over those who believe. While joy in this season may be hard to come by (and that’s ok!), let this truth bring even a small flicker of light to chase away the darkness.  In honor of the Easter season and the glorious future Jesus has won for us, this month we will be covering various ideas on the topic of Heaven.  The first two weeks, Kelly and Jennie will cover Biblical answers to common Hope Mom questions: “Is my baby in Heaven? What if my baby would not have ...