72 results for tag: Stillbirth
Right before my 20 week sonogram, we asked Elexander, our oldest son, if we were going to have a boy or a girl. He informed me it was a fish. Fish were his new favorite thing, and he was adamant that mommy had a fish in her stomach. So our new baby’s nickname was fish, and soon we would be able to give him or her a real name.
We went in for our typical 20 month sonogram. We were so excited to find out if we were carrying a boy or a girl. I was betting on a girl, although if I had another crazy little boy like Elexander I would be just as happy. We went into the office and the technician started looking at our baby. Initially everything looked ...
For as long as I can remember, one of my greatest desires has been to be a mommy. In August of 2020, my dream became a reality. My husband and I frequently talked about growing our family, and I remember vividly the day we decided to start trying.
At the time, we knew my dad had some health concerns, and we knew it was one of two things —pancreatitis or pancreatic cancer. On August 8, 2020, my husband, Austin, and I went on a hike. I remember sitting on a quiet bench along the trail and telling Austin that I did not want to wait any longer to try for a baby; I wanted my children to have my dad as long as possible. That day, we asked the Lord to ...
One day life for our growing family seemed perfect. Being 39 weeks pregnant, we decided to take a family day to make memories together before becoming a family of four. We anticipated big changes ahead for our family and wanted to make the most of the moments beforehand.
The next day, we found out that something unexplainable and incomprehensible had happened.
We delivered our 39 week son, stillborn. Devastated and confused was only the beginning of the mountain of feelings we were confronted with. We were left sifting through the cobwebs of emotions, trying to discern how to hold onto hope in the darkest of seasons. We ...
Where do I begin to tell the story of our daughter whose life would come to change our world in so many ways?
In December of 2019, after a difficult few months filled with sickness and the loss of my precious Mommy, I caught the flu. Our oldest son had recently been hospitalized for the same thing, and I had fallen ill caring for him. On Christmas Eve, a friend persuaded me to take a pregnancy test because I was still very sick.
I was in shock when the test was positive. My first thoughts were, “Lord, what are you thinking? Here I am barely holding down the fort and keeping things together with two children. How will I ever ...
On August 13, 2018, I nursed my sweet little girl for the last time. I was starting to get sore, so I figured it was time for her to give up nursing; my daughter Adelynn was a year and a half at the time. It was a tough few days for us, but we made it!
One week later, I decided to celebrate with a special dinner, but afterwards I felt off. Little did I know I was carrying Addy’s little brother. The next morning I took a pregnancy test to verify if my suspicions were correct, and in minutes, the strip read two lines. We had decided to let the chips land where they may in regards to trying to have another, so Everett was a surprise but ...
He flipped the switch and the room darkened. “Maybe now we will get a clearer view,” he said.
I stared at the screen and it was still. Nothing. No movement or fluttering at all. “There is no heartbeat is there?” I said, fighting back tears.
“I am so sorry,” he said as he sighed.
I placed my head in my hands and began sobbing. "Why God?" Those seemed to be the only words I was able to utter. I knew I needed Him now more than ever, but I couldn't think of anything I wanted to say to Him. I just sat there on the exam table, alone, holding my stomach.
After a few minutes I knew I needed to call my husband, but how do you tell ...
“Grief is like the ocean; it comes in waves, ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes the water is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim.”- Vickie Harrison.
But how would I learn to swim in the sea of grief? The loss of our sweet Annalee came just two months after our 3-year-old daughter was diagnosed with cancer. I went from fearing the unknown future of our daughter, Lela, to grieving the future memories that we will never have with Annalee.
I will never forget how I felt when I found out I was pregnant again. I’m not proud of my reaction. This was my sixth pregnancy. We already had four blessi...
2019 was a hallmark year for our family. We began the year taking in the fact that God had given us twins. Yes, two babies at one time! This news came as a shock to our family. As we praised God for the double blessing, we wondered how we would manage caring for two toddlers and two infants, but we loved these babies from the start. God powerfully delivered us from our fears as we meditated on His promises, such as, “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand” (Isaiah 41:10). As our families and church family came around us in amazing ...
He was our little miracle. After years of trying and finally agreeing to start fertility treatments in the new year, we were beyond ecstatic to find out we got pregnant naturally in September. We were over the moon. Before we knew it, we were at every baby store in town, researching every baby product on the planet, and bought all the books we could get our hands on. I remember my husband’s face when we got our stroller; he kept pushing it around and around in our living room.
Fast forward to March 31, 2020. I woke up after a rather restless night, which wasn’t out of the ordinary because at this point I was 29 weeks, and told to be measuring ...
We were in shock, elated shock, to find out that I was pregnant in 2018. We had struggled to conceive both of our boys for over a year each with a miscarriage in between them. As much as our hearts wanted to keep growing our family, I just couldn’t handle the ongoing heartache of trying. So, we didn’t try, didn’t really prevent, and sort of assumed that pregnancy was off the table. Our reactions to the positive pregnancy test confirmed just how much we really did hope for another baby.
Even though I was 38, my doctors were fairly relaxed about additional testing. I was healthy with two healthy kids, so there was no pressure to be extra ...
