Brandy’s Story
Where do I begin to tell the story of our daughter whose life would come to change our world in so many ways?
In December of 2019, after a difficult few months filled with sickness and the loss of my precious Mommy, I caught the flu. Our oldest son had recently been hospitalized for the same thing, and I had fallen ill caring for him. On Christmas Eve, a friend persuaded me to take a pregnancy test because I was still very sick.
I was in shock when the test was positive. My first thoughts were, “Lord, what are you thinking? Here I am barely holding down the fort and keeping things together with two children. How will I ever manage with three?”
I am considered a high-risk pregnancy because I have a uterus abnormality called a Bicornuate Uterus—in other words, a heart-shaped womb. One of the most heartbreaking concerns with this condition is that it increases the risk for miscarriage or preterm labor. I also have pre-existing Hypertension (high blood pressure). Thankfully, my two previous pregnancies, although pre-term, did not result in any lasting health concerns.
We got into the doctor as soon as possible, knowing my history, and saw that our healthy baby was just over eleven weeks old. From the earliest doctor’s visit, I knew I would be receiving extra monitoring and care. It was kind of nice getting those extra ultrasounds. In March, our best friends threw us a gender reveal party, and we were delighted to find out our “baby bean” was going to be a little girl. Almost immediately, we knew her name would be Melody Jean in honor of my sweet Mommy.
You can imagine the thoughts that ran through my head—matching outfits with her older sister, her big brother, David, snuggling her and making her laugh. By this time, I had embraced the idea of life with three children and was completely in love with this baby growing inside of me. Although I was also diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes, my health conditions were well controlled, and it was by all accounts my healthiest pregnancy. My biggest concern at that time was that Melody was breech, and my doctor wanted to pursue a c-section.
I had never been pregnant for this long, so everything was new. I didn’t know what to expect as far as movement was concerned. Melody was always a very calm baby, so when I made it to 36 weeks I was both excited and a bit nervous. On Tuesday, July 7, 2020, just one day after my birthday, I realized I hadn’t felt her moving. I checked my blood sugar, and since it was higher than it had been, I placed a call to Triage.
While waiting for a return phone call, I also called my husband at work and told him what was going on. I tried everything I could think of to get her moving—cold liquid, food, a flashlight on my tummy. Nothing worked. I had an appointment and ultrasound scheduled for the next day, so when the triage nurse called back, they said my blood sugar wasn’t high enough to warrant an ER visit. However, when I told them I wasn’t feeling her move, they said I should come into Labor and Delivery and get checked out.
I assumed that if something was wrong they would just go ahead with the c-section. Never did I imagine what was to come.
We drove to the hospital in near silence. Walking into the atrium at OU Children’s Hospital, I was asked if today was “baby day” because I was visibly pregnant. However, the moment they put the doppler to my stomach, my heart sank. I just knew she was gone. There was nothing except the faint beating of my own heart. They brought in an ultrasound machine and found her head still in my ribs. Still breech. Though I could hardly bring myself to look, I tried to view the screen through my tears. Our baby, our Melody, without movement. Her heart, that had been beating just days before, was still.
At 1:15pm, the doctor told us, “I’m sorry, there is no heartbeat.” Our world shattered around us.
The doctor said they would induce us that day. I got dressed again and walked to the delivery room. We asked for time to collect our thoughts, let our families know, and eat a meal. I had once again developed Preeclampsia. The rest is a blur—low calcium, soaring blood sugars, blood pressure meds, IV’s.
At 12:11pm, on Thursday, July 9, 2020, Melody Jean Thrasher was born. She was 6lbs 3oz and 18.75 inches long with a full head of curly, black hair. She was perfect in every way, except she was silent. No cries accompanied her birth, except for those of her parents.
There was no visible reason why her heart stopped. I am so thankful to know she is in heaven this very moment, And though it cuts deep that we never saw her eyes, the first thing she saw when she opened them was Jesus. She never felt pain, hurt, hunger, or cold. She was always loved, safe, and warm.
Due to Covid restrictions, our older children were not allowed to come to the hospital, so we chose to tell them what had happened in person when we came home. We were able to spend two days memorizing Melody’s features, taking pictures, and making memories with her. There were so many people praying for us from the moment we found out Melody’s heart stopped.
We went home and our sitter brought me a jar of wildflowers my kids had picked that morning. I was in the girls’ room when David came around the corner and asked, “Mom, where’s baby Melody?” I couldn’t hold back the tears as I hugged them both and explained what had happened. That was one of the hardest conversations.
We held her service on July 15, and she was laid to rest. I was able to get connected with Oklahoma Mother’s Milk Bank and start donating her milk. It was an outlet for me to honor our daughter’s life.
We saw God’s faithfulness to us in many ways. We had very little money at the time, and I cannot begin to tell you the financial miracles we saw. From getting our bills paid to her burial being taken care of in full, right down to the headstone, God provided for us.
People we didn’t even know reached out with cards, texts, and meals. They watched our older kids and cleaned the house when I didn’t have the strength to get out of bed. These were answers to prayers we couldn’t even speak at the time.
Through all of this, I felt so bad for our kids. They loved Melody, too. Support for them was lacking; people asked about us, sent us cards and letters, but rarely thought of our older kids. I wanted more for them.
Almost eight months later, I saw a group on Instagram that sends boxes to siblings of families affected by miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant loss. Since the group is based in the UK, it led me to search out something similar here in the United States. I didn’t find anything.
The Lord laid it on my heart that maybe we could help start something here. Thus the seed for Melody’s Promise was planted in our hearts. The Lord led us to start a Foundation in our daughters name. Our non-profit foundation is called In Melody’s Name and our first project is sibling support boxes—Melody’s Promise. Our first set of twenty-five support boxes are currently 50% funded. We are blessed to honor Melody in this way and help bring a bit of comfort to other children who are walking through a loss.
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
Psalm 34:18
- Brandy
Hope Mom to Melody Jean Thrasher
Brandy Thasher —
We would be honored to share your story as a Hope Mom on our blog. On Saturdays, we feature a Hope Mom’s story in order to showcase God’s faithfulness even in the midst of such deep sorrow. If you would like to have your story shared on our blog for this purpose, learn more and submit here.
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