Valeria’s Story
On August 13, 2018, I nursed my sweet little girl for the last time. I was starting to get sore, so I figured it was time for her to give up nursing; my daughter Adelynn was a year and a half at the time. It was a tough few days for us, but we made it!
One week later, I decided to celebrate with a special dinner, but afterwards I felt off. Little did I know I was carrying Addy’s little brother. The next morning I took a pregnancy test to verify if my suspicions were correct, and in minutes, the strip read two lines. We had decided to let the chips land where they may in regards to trying to have another, so Everett was a surprise but not completely unplanned.
I remember about a month later I felt weird and extremely sad for no reason. I lie down in my closet and just melted down; something felt “off.” Adelynn came and comforted me as best as a child could at a year and half; even after that, I remember still being so sad. Later that week at a women’s retreat, I received prayer and was fully surrounded with love and encouragement. That time with sisters from my church made me feel much better. Looking back, though, I can’t help but feel that my heart was being prepared for what was to come.
Everything was going great, and Everett continued to grow and grow. Our goal was to make it to 37 weeks so we could deliver him safely at home with our midwives, just like we did with his big sister. But at 33 weeks, something changed.
Things just didn’t feel right. I wiped what looked like some of my mucus plug. We went to the emergency room for an in-depth scan. The scan looked great and my midwife said my cervix was still closed, which brought me some comfort.
Throughout my pregnancy, I kept asking my new church for prayers. Every Sunday, I faithfully filled out a card and asked that my baby and I stay safe all the way through the birth. That’s all I wanted—a safe birth for both of us.
Everything was looking great at 35 weeks, but I began to notice that Everett wasn’t moving as much. Some people said, “Don’t worry; as he gets bigger he will run out of room.” I had my midwife come to my house and check on him; again, he was doing great. He kicked back while she held him in place. He scooted away from the doppler as we listened to his heartbeat. He was amazing and strong. I was so excited to meet this feisty boy.
Four days later, our midwives came to drop off items in preparation for Everett’s birth, and now at 36 weeks, I was ready for Everett to be checked again. We joked and talked about what to do when I started labor. Then, it was time to check on my little guy. A student midwife took out the doppler and looked for a heartbeat. “Oh, there it is”, she said. “Wait, no, that was yours.” She wasn’t able to find it; then my lead midwife took a shot at it. She held him in place, but he didn’t kick back. I was advised to drink some cold juice and head to the emergency room.
We got in the car, and I started texting family and close friends to pray. I walked through the hospital doors, and they immediately strapped on a fetal monitor. They couldn’t find anything. They quickly walked out and called for a sonographer. Forty-five minutes later, someone came and quietly scanned. I kept asking, “What’s going on?” “Is he ok?” “Do you see his heartbeat?” I looked at my midwife, and all she could do was shake her head no.
I let out the most awful wail of grief, and my husband instantly cried harder than I’ve ever heard him cry in my life. The shock and pain were unreal. We prayed together, we prayed with family, and we prayed with friends that Everett would come back to us. Two days later, on April 4, 2019, I gave birth to the most beautiful sleeping baby boy, and then minutes later we saw his small and calcified placenta. Doctors said it was roughly the size of a 25-week-old placenta. We don’t know exactly why, but it had decided to stop growing and working.
“Mysteries in life are for God to know and me to trust,” as said best by Chris Quilala.
Everything from Everett’s birth to our final goodbye was soaked with God’s love and grace for us. God had moved us from one church to another just four months before this all took place. Thankfully, our new church family was fully there for us. The head pastor came to visit us at the hospital on the day of the birth and beautifully prayed over our family. He held our son with great pride as tears rolled down his cheeks. He too has felt this same pain one too many times before. Our church family brought food, love, and comfort to a family they didn’t even know. God did that. He made sure we would be taken care of by the church. I know He orchestrated our move in His timing. We were wrapped in love and faith by family, friends, and our church community. Even to this day, I can feel people interceding for our family.
Even with the prayer of others, Everett’s passing has forced me and Isaac to dig deep in our marriage. We sought out counseling for issues that have always been there, but previously we had managed to always sweep them under the rug. We could no longer ignore those things, and as a result of the way God has strengthened our marriage, I trust God more than I ever have before.
In Genesis 5:20 the Bible says, “But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive” (NKJV). I cling to this verse and know that ultimately God will use Everett’s story for good. My hope is that his short but meaningful life will bring at least one person to Christ.
A very close spiritual friend and leader shared this verse with us while we were in the hospital: “[God] comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God” (2 Corinthians 1:4). Although this is definitely not what I would have chosen for my path in life, this is the path I have been given. During our time of grief God has comforted us endlessly. Although grieving the loss of Everett is ongoing, through our pain we can relate to and understand this type of grief that others are going through as well. We are able to bring comfort to others through the comfort God has given us.
Since losing Everett, I’ve had so many friends, friends of friends, and family members tell me their own stories of loss. Some of these women had never shared their loss with anyone, but through my grief, they garnered the courage to tell me theirs as well. No life is too small. A life is a life to our Abba Father. As He has been there for me, He will also be there for you. Remember, He lost a son too and knows this pain we carry, and because of His son, Jesus, we will see Everett again some day. This is our hope that we will always hold on to.
- Valeria
Hope Mom to Everett
Hi, I am Valeria Gamboa. Isaac and I are from San Antonio, Texas, and have been married for eight beautiful years. I am a stay at home mom to three precious children: Adelynn who is 4, Everett who has been in heaven with Jesus since April 2019, and Bennett who is 10 months. We are blessed to have our best friends and family live down the street from us. Although it can be tough we trust God’s will for our lives.
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