61 results for tag: Shelly

Discussions in Grief: Stunned

Grieving involves new emotions and considerations often too many to numbers. When you find yourself in overwhelming grief, you likely feel buried and lost. In this series, we slowly and compassionately look at one aspect of grief at a time from a biblical perspective for the newly grieving mother. Click {here} to read past posts in this series.  Less than twenty-four hours after uttering the words, “I’m trying to finish his quilt because I think I might be going into labor,” I looked at the sonogram monitor and saw all four chambers of his heart. Still. Absolutely still.  I was stunned. Absolutely stunned. We had presents under ...

Cliche Comforts: “Everything Happens For A Reason”

Everything happens for a reason. I heard it when my son died and I heard a young mother say it the other day. I didn’t like it 26 years ago when someone said it to me, and it still rubbed me wrong the other day. I know the young mom who just buried her child had probably been told that and she was just repeating it. I didn’t have a good response at the time, but that phrase has been banging around in my head for a few weeks now.  Here’s what I wish I had replied to that hurting mom. I wish I had told her I don’t know why babies die and cannot figure out a good reason for it, but I do know God can take even the worse situation and use it for ...

Comfort For Hope Siblings: God Is Always With You

One of the hardest things we, as Hope Moms, have to do after loss is try to reconcile how a good God can let bad things happen. Trying to help our Hope Siblings understand such a hard reality is equally, if not more, difficult. But it is vital we parent our children through the hardship of loss with God’s truth.   Last weekend I was at a church service and we sang a song with these lyrics:  And all my life You have been faithful And all my life You have been so, so good With every breath that I am able Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God I stood there singing those words between two of my girls who are Hope Siblings. As I sang the words, I ...

Discussions in Grief: Waves

Grieving involves new emotions and considerations often too many to numbers. When you find yourself in overwhelming grief, you likely feel buried and lost. In this series, we slowly and compassionately look at one aspect of grief at a time from a biblical perspective for the newly grieving mother. Click {here} to read past posts in this series.  One of my favorite memories as a child was going to the coast with my parents. My mother loved to play in the ocean and we spent hours splashing in the waves. When I lived near the Gulf of Mexico, a group of us went to the coast nearly every week. Sometimes we played on the shore and let the waves ...

Discussions in Grief: Anger

Grieving involves new emotions and considerations often too many to numbers. When you find yourself in overwhelming grief, you likely feel buried and lost. In this series, we slowly and compassionately look at one aspect of grief at a time from a biblical perspective for the newly grieving mother. Click {here} to read past posts in this series.  Anger. It is a part of the grief process. When we grieve, we are supposed to experience anger... at least that's what the "experts" tell us. I do not consider myself an angry person, so when the son my husband and I desired so deeply was born still nine days before his due date, I wasn’t ...

Purpose in the Pain: Genuine Faith

I remember a conversation I had with a woman in my church who mentored me in the early days of my young marriage. She had several young children at the time, and one of her sons had been diagnosed with cancer. As she described the sadness and difficulty of their situation, she commented that while it was painful, she and her husband were grateful for the opportunity for their faith to be proven genuine. As they pressed on through the difficulty, they knew that their faith and trust in God was pleasing to Him. My friend was living and breathing 1 Peter 1:6-7, which says, “​​In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, ...

Freely Given, Freely Received: Extending Grace

Early on in my grief, I did not extend much grace when people would make insensitive comments after the death of my son. To be honest, most of the people had no idea their comments were insensitive.  A case in point: one day at the grocery store after the loss of my son, I was checking out with my two girls while I was very pregnant. The girl scanning my groceries looked at my large belly and my two little girls and asked if I was hoping for a boy. I saw my girls look at me, and I wanted to protect them and make sure they didn’t feel undervalued because of their gender. I replied, “I had a son, and he died.”  Poor grocery ...

Bear Much Fruit: Kindness

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience,kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentlenessand self-control.-Galatians 5:22 When we are grieving, is it possible to have any fruit in our lives? When all we want to do is hole up in a cave, can we be patient with those that aren’t grieving—and who just might possibly say hurtful things because they don’t understand? When the days are long and full of sorrow, can we have joy and peace? When we are angry and hurt, can we be kind?  The short answer is “yes!” When we grieve, it is easy to turn within ourselves and keep our focus on our own sorrow. But when we do that ...

When Sorrow Feels All-Consuming…

God’s Word speaks thoroughly and abundantly into every season of the heart. As we study His Word, we learn that within its pages are found the ultimate source of comfort and peace for the sufferer. In this series, we will seek to carefully and compassionately apply these ancient, scriptural truths to feelings and experiences that are common in grief. Have you ever been upset with someone, and the longer you hold it in the more hurt, mad, or offended you become? I have. Then, when I have the conversation to voice my feelings, I feel better afterwards and can move on.  It is the same way with the Lord. When things happen in ...

Because He Lives: We Are Set Free

“But the angel said to the women, “Do not be afraid, for I know that you seek Jesus who was crucified. He is not here, for He has risen, as He said. Come, see the place where Helay.”-Matthew 28:5-6 As a Hope Mom, this verse is the beginning of our hope. Jesus was crucified for our sins and was raised from the dead. Because of that act by Jesus, we can be set free from our sins. We have the hope of resurrection and that leads to the hope of seeing our babies again in heaven. Jesus’ death on the cross is the foundation of our hope.  Romans 10:9 says that “if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and be...