Discussions in Grief: Stunned

Grieving involves new emotions and considerations often too many to numbers. When you find yourself in overwhelming grief, you likely feel buried and lost. In this series, we slowly and compassionately look at one aspect of grief at a time from a biblical perspective for the newly grieving mother. Click {here} to read past posts in this series. 

Less than twenty-four hours after uttering the words, “I’m trying to finish his quilt because I think I might be going into labor,” I looked at the sonogram monitor and saw all four chambers of his heart. Still. Absolutely still. 

I was stunned. Absolutely stunned.

We had presents under the Christmas tree, the nursery was waiting his arrival, and we were ready to welcome our son into our family. But the presents would not be opened and the nursery would stay vacant. His memory would forever reside in our hearts but never in our home. The dreams and hopes we had for our son ended when I saw those four heart chambers so very still.

We were stunned—but God wasn’t. He wasn’t caught by surprise.

Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? And not one of them
forgotten before God. Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered.
Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows.
Luke 12:6-7

If the Lord knows the number of hairs on our head and cares for the common sparrow, then He knows what is going on in our lives. Nothing surprises the Lord.

In that moment when my life was turned upside down, the Lord was paving a way for my husband and I to get through it. We knew the journey would be hard, but we also knew the Lord would travel the road of sorrow with us.

It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you;
He will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.
Deuteronomy 31:8

As my husband and I stumbled through the next few days, weeks, and months, I knew that the Lord was going with us. I might have been stunned, but I trusted the Lord. I clung to His promise to never leave us or forsake us. And I clung to Him.

I cried out to Him in those moments when I felt forsaken, and I felt His comfort and peace. I poured my heart out to my Savior in journals, and He guided me with His Truth. Every time I questioned, He answered—with a Bible verse, an encouraging word from a friend, or even a song.

I cried aloud to the Lord, and He answered me from His holy hill.
Psalms 3:4

I love the picture this verse paints. In our weakness and vulnerability, as we cry out to the Lord with our raw emotions, pain, and concerns, He hears us and answers us. I’ve had people tell me they don’t know if the Lord sees them or hears them, but this verse tells us He does—even from His holy hill. He is never out of reach for us.

Dear Mama, are you stunned? Are you wondering where the Lord is in your sorrow? Be assured He is right there with you. He sees you. He hears you. He wants to comfort you. Reach out to Him. He is prepared to mend your hurting heart.

My stunned feelings eventually turned to reality, and the Lord’s comfort and peace turned to hope.

But I will hope continually and will praise you yet more and more.
Psalms 71:14

Dear Lord, thank you for knowing the details of our lives—even down to the strands of hair on our heads. Thank you for caring for the sparrows and for all of the mamas longing for their babies. Thank you for sacrificing your Son so that we can have the assurance of seeing our babies again one day. Lord, thank you for loving us and for being faithful even in the hard places. Thank you for hope. Amen.

Shelly D. Templin is an author, speaker and blogger that shares a message of hope – with humor. She has three daughters, a son-in- law, and a granddaughter. Shelly lives in Texas with her husband, Jack, of 29 years and their two dogs.

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