Bear Much Fruit: Kindness

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience,
kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness
and self-control.
-Galatians 5:22

When we are grieving, is it possible to have any fruit in our lives? When all we want to do is hole up in a cave, can we be patient with those that aren’t grieving—and who just might possibly say hurtful things because they don’t understand? When the days are long and full of sorrow, can we have joy and peace? When we are angry and hurt, can we be kind? 

The short answer is “yes!”

When we grieve, it is easy to turn within ourselves and keep our focus on our own sorrow. But when we do that we run the risk of staying in our grief and not letting the Lord work through our difficult situation. As part of the Hope Mommies group, I am moved by the kindness many of you show others in the midst of your own sorrow. I know from experience that doing something kind for another while grieving helps pull a person out of the grief quagmire.

As the one-year anniversary of my son’s death was approaching, I discovered Samaritan’s Shoe Box ministry.(Check it out here.) I had each of my girls pick out items to put in their boxes—for girls their age. And I picked out items to go in a box for a boy the age my son would have been. I would never be able to pick out things like socks, toys, and mittens for my son, so there was healing for me by being able to purchase those things for a little boy somewhere in the world. For years and years, I filled a box for a little boy the age my son would be.  And each year, a part of my heart was patched.

Another Hope Mommy, Stefanie Adams, asked family and friends (and even strangers) to join her in unanimously leaving baskets of daisies on doorsteps in honor of her son. A simple act of kindness.

Stefanie also started a memory/prayer afghan in honor of her son. Family and friends made squares (many with daisies on them) and sent them to her. People she didn’t even know heard about it and sent squares. Stefanie had 100 squares to stitch together to present to her family in memory of Solomon on his one-year anniversary.  How kind of those that helped with the blanket. Their kindness helped Stefanie in her grief.

For the one-year anniversary of Heather Smith Miller’s baby, she offered to write other Hope Mommies’ babies names on balloons and release a balloon in their honor when she had her own baby’s balloon release. The Hope Mommies were not the only ones touched by Heather’s thoughtfulness, but those who attended were also. How kind of Heather to remember other grieving moms in the midst of her own grief.

Mike and Rebecca Feldman’s second daughter, Alexa, was born still at 40 weeks. Their first daughter, Isabella, was looking forward to finally becoming a big sister, but she never got to meet or hold her little sister. After Mike and Rebecca came home from the hospital empty handed, they started noticing changes in Isabella’s behavior and wanted to help her with her grief. So they created the Alexa Bear. Rebecca made the bear the same height and weight of Alexa for Isabella—to fill her empty arms. They now create bears for others. Out of their own grief, a family is showing kindness to others, and it has helped them deal with their loss. You can check out Alexa Bears here.

I have heard of a mother delivering cookies in her son’s honor to the labor and delivery workers who took care of her and her son. 

Shoeboxes, blankets, bears, cookies, flowers, and other acts of kindness have helped many a mommy regain hope in the midst of their own grief. 

Can we exhibit the fruit of kindness in the midst of our grief? Yes, we can! Because we are attached to the vine—Jesus—we can have the fruit of the Holy Spirit active in our lives, regardless of our circumstances.

Jeremiah 31:3 says, “The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying: ‘I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.’”

The Lord draws us with unfailing kindness. How can we not show kindness to others, even in the midst of our grief? 

Tell me in the comments the ways you have shown kindness as a way to honor your child.

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Shelly D. Templin is an author, speaker and blogger that shares a message of hope—with humor. She has three daughters, a son-in-law, and a granddaughter. Shelly lives in Texas with her husband, Jack, of 29 years and their two dogs.

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