71 results for tag: Infant Loss
On March 10, 2015, I gave birth to the most perfect baby girl, Addalyn Grace, weighing in at 4lbs 5oz and 18 inches long. Unfortunately, the doctors didn’t see how perfectly God formed her. They pointed out every “flaw” while all I saw was my beautiful girl. They sent us home on hospice when she was three days old with a diagnosis of Trisomy 18 and a prognosis of a month at the most.
Our first night at home was terrifying, to say the least. I didn’t know how it was going to happen—if she would die slowly or if we would wake up to her lifeless body. The nurse that came out our first night helped save our girl. She told us about ...
In February of 2017, our son Phoenix turned one. Within a month, we were pregnant with our second child. We were both surprised and excited. We hadn’t expected to become pregnant again so quickly when it had taken us around seven months the first time.
We were on vacation when I took the test and found out, so upon arriving home, I called and asked to change my upcoming annual OBGYN appointment to a prenatal appointment. At first everything seemed normal, but at some point, I started to feel concerned that I hadn’t felt movement yet. I convinced myself that every baby is different, and that this one was just more chill than Phoenix had ...
I still remember the morning I found out I was expecting. It was something Kory and I had been trying for, even though it really didn’t take us long. Kory was at work two hours away with limited phone service, and had told me they would probably be working real late. As soon as I took that pregnancy test and saw it was positive, I didn’t know what to do with myself. I knew there was no way I could tell Kory the news in just a text message, so I started browsing on Pinterest some fun ways to tell the new dad. Once I had decided on something, I went to Walmart, and found myself looking through the baby stuff. I imagined what it would be like to ...
In July of 2015, after two years of battling infertility, my husband and I found out that we were pregnant. We were over-the-moon excited that our five-year old daughter, Aubrey, would finally have a sibling. Our excitement grew abundantly when we found out that our family would be blessed with not only one, but two babies. We were the proud parents of twins. God answered our prayers in a far bigger way than we could have imagined. He knew that our hearts’ desire was for three children.
Walking through infertility had been a heartbreaking trial in and of itself. All the time, money, appointments, medications, and toll on my body from infertility ...
“There is no amniotic fluid.” There I was, perplexed, shocked, and heartbroken. Two days earlier we had the first sonogram of our little boy where he proudly showed off that he was definitely a boy. There was plenty of fluid then. Is that what I was feeling the night before when I thought my back went into alignment?
My midwife said she could no longer be in charge of my care. I needed to be transferred into the care of an OBGYN and put in the hospital immediately. My husband, Tee Wei, was called when I was en route to the hospital, and upon our arrival we still didn’t understand what was really going on. Although I thought I should be almost ...
On January 26, 2018, my baby boy Jase James stopped breathing in his sleep. At just 5 months old, our little boy had died to SIDS. His death was shocking, devastating, and left me disappointed with God. In the moments before meeting my son in the hospital I watched on the monitoring app on my phone while our sitter tried to revive my son.
I prayed fervently to God, "God please let my son live. God let my son have a pulse. Please, God let Jase have a pulse." As the EMT's arrived I listened intently for someone to say he was showing some signs of life. As they examined him and took over CPR, one of the EMT's said, “No pulse. No Breath.” I ...
I feel like I have told Isaac’s story hundreds of times over the past seven years, and yet, each time it’s difficult to know where to start. Because the Bible says that God knew us before the foundation of the world, I know that Isaac’s story began before I was laying on the ultrasound table that day in March of 2011. However, for the purpose of this blog, that is where I will begin.
That day, a day that will forever be etched in my memory, we were at the doctor for a followup. Our “routine” genetic screening, just three weeks prior, had indicated that the precious baby growing within my womb might be sick. Those three weeks had been long ...
Burying my precious baby was devastating. I had no idea how to cope with his sudden unexpected death. True, Paul had been born with a heart problem, but he had survived the critical surgery at birth and was thriving. He’d come home from the hospital at three weeks old, and after a slow start, began gaining weight.
With his winsome smile, easy disposition, and mop of curly dark hair, he delighted us all. He was healthy and beautiful. Even the physician filling in for Paul’s regular cardiologist was so impressed with his progress that he impulsively eliminated most of his heart medications. Paul didn’t need them anymore. He was fine. ...
I remember standing at the funeral of a friend’s baby, stillborn at full term, ten years ago, completely inconsolable, sobbing, and unable to pull myself together. Much to my husband’s dismay, I just wouldn’t let him console me. All I could say to him was, ‘I just don’t want to ever have to do this!’ Yet I knew it was very likely I would have to do that exact same thing at some point in my life.
You see, I have always known I have a balanced chromosome translocation. My parents had a stillborn baby, with no warning signs, at 36 weeks. And after that had tests done to see if there was any reasoning behind it. They discovered then that my ...
