Kacie’s Story

I feel like I have told Isaac’s story hundreds of times over the past seven years, and yet, each time it’s difficult to know where to start. Because the Bible says that God knew us before the foundation of the world, I know that Isaac’s story began before I was laying on the ultrasound table that day in March of 2011. However, for the purpose of this blog, that is where I will begin.

That day, a day that will forever be etched in my memory, we were at the doctor for a followup. Our “routine” genetic screening, just three weeks prior, had indicated that the precious baby growing within my womb might be sick. Those three weeks had been long and scary. We tried so hard to remain positive. I read story after story online about how these tests aren’t always accurate, but my mommy instinct knew something was wrong. My experience as a high risk antepartum nurse told me that sometimes babies are really sick, and I knew that there was nothing to make me exempt from this brutal reality. 

The wait was over and we were finally going to have some answers. Our baby would now be big enough for the doctor to see how he or she was developing. We dropped our 1-year-old daughter, Kadynce, off at a friend’s house, and headed to the office. So there I was, laying on the cold table waiting for the nurse to begin, every inch of my body felt like ice.

I thought I would vomit or pass out. I was terrified. The nurse squirted the sticky gel onto my growing belly, applied the transducer, and there he was. Our precious and perfect baby was alive and wiggling around in my womb. However, we very quickly learned that our baby was not thriving. The nurse didn’t even wait for the doctor to enter the room before she started listing off everything that was wrong with him. “The brain, heart, and kidney’s were not developing correctly. Cleft lip. Clubbed feet. Your baby has too many fingers. Oh and I’m pretty sure it’s a boy.” There was also something wrong with the umbilical cord.

Before we even had time to process what we were just told, the doctor came in to inform us that he could squeeze us into his schedule that very afternoon to abort our baby since he was “incompatible with life” anyway. 

I remember being furious. How in the world did this man think he was going to come in and just get rid of my baby? I very politely, but very firmly, told him that this was not an option, and we were not going to be the ones to determine how long our baby lived.

tI looked over at my husband, who had not let go of my hand the entire time, and saw complete and utter heartbreak. This baby, our son, was sick. So sick that if he lived through labor and delivery, he would not live for long outside of my body. We were both helpless. There was absolutely nothing we could do for our baby other than to choose life for him as long as the Lord would allow. 

Over the next few days, we learned that our baby was diagnosed with Trisomy 13. We named him Isaac Preston. Just as the Lord called Abraham to offer his son to Him as a sacrifice, we believe that as parents we should always remember that our children are not ours. They are the Lord’s. It is not about the plan that we have for them, but about His plan. That is why we chose the name Isaac for our precious son. It is a reminder that his life, no matter how long or short it is here on earth, is for the glory of the Lord. We were devastated, and it hurt to the very core of our being, but at the same time, God continued to offer a peace that surpassed all understanding. 

Over the following months I savored each and every kick I felt. I craved the brief moments that we were able to hear his heartbeat, or see his sweet profile on the ultrasound screen. Isaac was alive. He was safe. And I knew every moment with him was a priceless gift. The Lord continued to give me so much joy as a mommy to both Kadynce and Isaac. My heart broke when I thought of Kadynce not getting to keep her baby brother, but because she was so young I knew she would not fully understand.

As Isaac’s due date drew nearer I became weary. My body was tired and so was my heart and my mind. I was ready to meet my baby boy, and God, in His sovereign grace, saw fit to make this happen a little earlier than we expected. I went into labor at 33 weeks. It was an answer to so many prayers when Isaac was born alive at 12:20pm on July 16, 2011. He weighed 4lbs 2oz and was 17 3/4 inches long. Perfection.

Isaac knew nothing but love for the two hours that he lived on earth. He was held, kissed, bathed, dressed, and kissed some more by more people than I can count. Labor and delivery room number 14 became a holy place on that Saturday afternoon. The love was palpable. The peace supernatural. Our God was faithful. 

It’s been over seven years since I have held my baby boy in my arms. Seven years since I have kissed his chubby cheeks. Seven years since I have smelled his fresh newborn scent. Seven years since I held his ten perfect, tiny fingers in mine. That’s right, he didn’t have extra as they thought he would.

We have been blessed with two more precious daughters, but it’s never far from the front of my mind that their brother should be playing with them and more than likely driving them crazy. I see little boys running around dressed as superheroes, or some character from Star Wars, and I cant help but think that Isaac should be right there in the middle of them. But God is faithful. He is faithful to comfort my broken heart. He is faithful to bring peace to my anxious mind. He is faithful to provide joy in the pain. He was faithful seven years ago, and He will continue to be faithful today.

Kacie lives in Austin, Texas, and is the mommy of three precious daughters on earth and a sweet baby boy in heaven. She loves reading, coffee dates with her husband, Jonathan, and traveling with her family. She is passionate about helping women grow in biblical literacy and theology and is the cohost of the Adorned Podcast. She also blogs at www.kaciehunt.com.

We would be honored to share your story as a Hope Mom on our blog. On Saturdays we feature Hope Moms’ stories in order to showcase God’s faithfulness even in the midst of such deep sorrow. If you would like to have your story shared on our blog for this purpose, learn more and submit here.