57 results for author: Constance Ray

Asking Why: When You Don’t Get an Answer

We all want to know WHY.  Why me? Why this baby? Why this diagnosis? Why on this day? Why in this way?  It’s only natural to ask why – from the time we were little we have been asking “why” to make sense of our world. So, of course we ask these questions when it comes to our greatest heartaches. In asking this question, we are trying to wrap our minds around something that was never meant to be–death.  Last week I described how God put eternity in our hearts (Ecclesiastes 3:11); when we encounter the opposite of eternity (death) it not only breaks our hearts, it breaks our brains, too. What I’ve learned about asking ...

Confusion in Grief

There is nothing quite so jarring to our daily rhythms as loss. Whether it’s the news of a fatal diagnosis, an unexpected stillborn, or an out-of-the-blue miscarriage, our minds get stuck, shocked, and confused when they are asked to comprehend the death of our beloved babies. Even though we have lived in a fallen state our entire lives and expect a certain amount of death, when it actually strikes a loved one–our own flesh and blood–our minds and hearts are left disoriented. In the early weeks after William’s passing, I didn’t know what to do with myself. Literally.  My husband and I were displaced, living in my parent’s home. We ...

The Only Way Out is Through: Hope in Raw Grief

Last week I shared briefly about my personal experience with the death of a baby, and with the secure Hope God shared with me. While we Hope Moms do have the hope of a future reunion and eternity with our heavenly children, we still have to walk through the painful, confusing aftermath of their deaths. I’ll share some of my experiences right after loss, and then explore what the Bible says about our suffering. While in the hospital recovering from my c-section, I was presented with all sorts of “next steps”--ways to care for both my body after surgery, as well as William’s body after death. I didn’t want to do any of it. I wanted to go to ...

God’s Gift of Hope: Kelly’s Story

Greetings Hope Mommies Community! My name is Kelly Ransdell, and I have been involved with Hope Mommies since 2017. I’ve held various roles including Founder and President of the Houston Chapter, retreat small group leader, Hope Group leader, and now as a member of the Leadership Team as the Ministry Support Lead. This particular letter comes at a time of great grief for my home state of Texas, and I want to take a moment to acknowledge the July 4th tragedy and loss of life.  My childhood consisted of several summers at Camp Mystic, and I have friends who have lost their daughters in that flood. My grief runs deep for all of you; you know a ...

Grace in Grief – Learning to Extend Compassion to Others

When you’ve walked through the unimaginable loss of your baby, it’s easy to feel like you've become an expert in grief. You know the weight of the pain, the depth of the sorrow, and what it feels like to question how you’ll ever move forward. You know what cuts deep and what offers even a little bit of comfort. But if I’m honest with myself, before I lost my daughter, I had no idea what it truly meant to grieve. I had experienced loss in my life, and I considered myself to be an empathetic person. Yet, I know I’ve said things, forgotten things, and acted in ways that likely hurt others who were grieving. Even now, as I continue ...

Moving Forward in Grief vs. Moving On from Grief

For a mother who has lost a baby, one of the hardest things to hear is the well-meaning phrase: 'You have to move on.' The idea of moving on can feel like a betrayal—as if healing from your baby’s death requires forgetting, as if the love you have for your baby has an expiration date. But grief and love don’t work that way. The truth is, we don’t move on from our babies. We move forward with them. Moving on implies leaving something behind. When people talk about moving on, it can sound like a call to let go, to put the past behind us, to return to life as it was before. But life can never be the same after loss. A part of our heart is ...

Longing for a different kind of freedom

The Fourth of July is a time when the world around us celebrates—fireworks light up the sky, families gather for barbecues, and children run freely with sparklers in hand. But for a mother who has lost a baby, the noise of celebration can contrast sharply with the quiet ache of grief. If this week feels heavy, you are not alone. While the world looks to freedom in one way, you may find yourself longing for a different kind of freedom—the freedom from sorrow, the freedom from the weight of what-ifs, the freedom from feeling like you have to pretend you’re okay when your heart still aches. But dear mama, there is a deeper freedom available ...

Grief in the Summertime – Finding God’s Presence in the Rhythms of Creation

For most of human history, people lived without clocks. Before the sundial gave way to watches and phones that sync us down to the second, people moved with the rhythm of nature. The rising and setting sun directed their days, and the changing seasons shaped their work and rest. But today, we are bound by schedules, calendars, and endless to-do lists. Time pushes forward, whether we are ready or not. For a grieving mother, summer’s long days can feel especially heavy. When the world around us bursts with life—children laughing at the pool, families heading off on vacation—it can feel as though time is rushing past our sorrow, leaving us ...

What does it mean that God is making all things new?

Have you ever wondered what blessings God is working out through the heartbreak of losing a baby? By His nature, God is redeeming. Ever since sin cursed the earth, we have seen Him making things new—bringing beauty from brokenness. In the aftermath of Adam and Eve’s shattered hearts, as thorns choked Eden’s beauty and the earth groaned under the weight of sorrow, God whispered His promise to mend what was lost. Revelation 21:5 declares, “Behold, I am making all things new.” One day, He will restore the perfection and splendor of His creation, and every tear will be wiped away. But even now, we can see glimpses of His renewal at work in ...

Honoring Him This Father’s Day You See His Grief—And That Matters

I’ve been thinking about Father’s Day and how hard it can be—not just for us, but for the men we love. As Hope Moms, we carry our grief in ways that are often seen—our tears, our words, the way we hold onto memories. But for our husbands, it’s different. Their pain is quieter, often unspoken, but no less deep. Hope Dads often bear the weight of loss in a way the world doesn’t always recognize.  That’s why I want to encourage you to honor him this Father’s Day. He may not say much, he may not even know how to put words to what he’s feeling, but he is a father. And just like we long for our babies to be remembered, so does ...