Tenderly Cleansed

Welcome to Hope Mommies’ In the Word devotionals. Over the next several weeks, we will be studying Psalm 139 together. This Psalm is used often (and rightly so) to demonstrate the value of human life, and God’s care for us from even before we were conceived. What can we learn about God’s tender care for us and for our babies from these verses? How does a greater knowledge of these truths offer hope and comfort to us in the midst of grief?


Tenderly Cleansed

“Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts!
And see if there be any grievous way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting!”
Psalm 139:23-24

READ:

Several weeks ago, I was camping with my family. While I was prepping food for dinner, our kids were riding their bikes up and down the loop in front of our campsite. I heard the squeal of tires breaking on the gravel road, followed by the cries of my six-year-old son. I am certain that everyone at the campground heard him wipe out on his bike.

I picked him up, carried him to the picnic table, and began to carefully clean his skinned up arms and legs with a warm, wet washcloth. I worked slowly and tenderly, knowing that his wounds were raw and painful. But I also knew that, even though it was uncomfortable for him, the dirt and rocks had to be removed in order for his skin to heal properly.

So it was with my heart in the midst of my grief. 

Especially in the days and weeks immediately following the death of two of my babies, there were times when I allowed sin to take root in my life. Every step I took towards anger, jealousy, and fear, burdened my already raw and battered heart more deeply. But in every moment, when I was divided between trusting my sovereign God and serving my own interests, He was there, tenderly cleansing me of these grievous ways. Like a loving father, He gently cut away at the jealousy, fear, and anger that I had been dwelling in so that my wounded heart could begin to mend without risk of infection.

It was often uncomfortable, but as the Lord removed the dirt and gravel in my heart, I was being led to places of greater comfort, trust, and peace. When I would dread my husband’s absence, afraid that something terrible would happen to him while he was away, God graciously revealed how I was being driven by fear and reminded me to trust in His goodness. When my heart would throb with the twinge of jealousy at the news of someone delivering a healthy baby, He tenderly showed me how this road of envy was leading me away from the joy of His presence. When I began to harbor bitterness in my heart, God demonstrated how forgiveness brought freedom.

Just as I slowly, and carefully cleaned my sons wounds after his accident, our gracious, heavenly Father picks us up in our sorrow, and gently clears away the debris. Dear sister, will you surrender your wounds to the Lord and allow Him to tenderly cleanse you of any infection that has settled in these raw places of your heart? He longs to purify you with His loving hands, and lead you in the way everlasting.

REFLECT:
  1. What can we learn from the verses below about the way God tenderly purifies our hearts?

    -Psalm 51:7, 10
    -Hebrews 10:22
    -1 John 1:7, 9
  2. What areas of your heart do you need to surrender to the Lord to be cleansed? What is preventing you from allowing Him into those places?
JOURNAL:

Using Psalm 51 as a template, write a prayer to God repenting of your sin and inviting Him in to cleanse you of it.


- Ashlee

Hope Mom to Simeon and Odelle

Ashlee is the Editorial Coordinator for Hope Mommies and author of I AM (Hope Mommies, 2017) and Identity (Hope Mommies, 2018). She and her husband, Jesse, live in Milwaukee with their children—five on earth and two in heaven.

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