Andi’s Story

I believe our mess is our message and often, and as a result of experiencing difficult things, we can be a light to those around us who walk the same path.  Our first loss was over 8 years ago.  I copied many of my original words to share our story.

A few days after a routine (30-week) ultrasound, we were called into the doctor’s office for another ultrasound. We went in and our doctor showed us some physical abnormalities that Addie had. We were really nervous and not sure how optimistic to be. He sent us to a specialist. The specialist pointed out a few more things that made us really nervous. He took some amniotic fluid and sent it off to be tested for chromosomal abnormalities. We were told that we would have to wait about two weeks for the results.

On Monday, (four days later) I came home for lunch. I was lying on the couch and feeling baby kick. It’s something that I’d only started experiencing the last couple of weeks. At that time, I got a surprising call. It was my doctor. He told me that the test results had come back and that our baby did have what is called Trisomy 18. This is where the 18th chromosome has three copies of the chromosome instead of two and this problem is not compatible with life. At this point, we had to accept that our little girl wouldn’t live long, if we were lucky enough to see her alive at all. We were told that because I had so much fluid and was measuring full term that even though I had seven weeks left, I would probably have the baby early. We estimated that we had about three weeks to plan and prepare for what was about to come.

I came home from work early the next day and started to time some contractions that were getting closer and closer together. I didn’t believe it at the time, but I was in fact going into labor. By 12:15 Thursday morning, we were holding our beautiful baby girl. She was 2 lbs 3 oz, 14 inches long. Unfortunately, she wasn’t born alive. We were, however, able to hold her and say goodbye.

We decided to have a small graveside service and buried her the next afternoon.

Curtis and I have been completely amazed at how much support and love we have felt from everyone around us. We truly have witnessed so many selfless sacrifices from others, and out of this trial we have felt the love of our Heavenly Father.

It is strange to be a parent for a child who is not here with us physically. While we know we have become a mom and a dad in every sense of the word, we find that with just the two of us, all of the changes we expected to experience have been delayed.

Over the years, I learned to not have my identity wrapped up in my loss. Admittedly, that became easier when we were blessed with more children, but 7 years after we lost Addie, we were expecting again. By this time, going to checkups is old news. I just try to schedule it when the older kids are in school and after the first appointment; I don’t bother my husband about taking time off work. During my regular 16-week appointment, the heartbeat wasn’t clear. I hadn’t eaten a good breakfast, so I figured I just needed some orange juice or something to get baby moving.

An ultrasound was scheduled and I was eager to find out that everything was okay. The tech turned down the sound on the ultrasound machine and didn’t say much as she was checking things out. I couldn’t see the screen, but as I watched her nervously reach for the volume knob again and again; I feared the worst.

I called my midwife and shared my concerns on my way home.  By the time I pulled into our driveway, she called to confirm my concerns.  We were going through this again.  We were going to have to say “goodbye” to another baby. I cried in the driveway and then again in the kitchen when I shared the news with my husband and our kids.

That was a little over a year ago. During the past year or so, I’ve processed a lot of emotions and feelings. I’d say that one of the most important things I’ve learned is that we each have a Work to do. Our Father in Heaven loves us, He is aware of us in our pain and in our heartache. He sent His Son who is the source of true healing. And He will direct your path.

– Andi

Hope Mom to Addie and Blaze

Andi Thompson, mother of 3 littles (including twins) and 2 hope babies. Andi is passionate about both physical and emotional health and healing. With a degree and background in Recreational Therapy, she now uses her education and talents with her family and wellness business.

We would be honored to share your story as a Hope Mom on our blog! Every Saturday we feature a Hope Mom’s story in order to showcase God’s faithfulness even in the midst of such deep sorrow. If you would like to have your story shared on our blog for this purpose, learn more and submit here: