Kara’s Story

I went to the doctor because I had been feeling sick for a couple of days, and my husband Jerimy urged me to go. To my shock and amazement, I was pregnant. I cried big, happy tears at the thought of a third child.

Seven years prior, after over a year of infertility, we had our son, Caiden. We never tried after that for another biological baby. Our daughter, Kylie, was adopted because we knew how difficult it was for us to get pregnant and there were so many children waiting for a family.

I told my husband that afternoon. I remember him saying, “How did this happen?” We were both in a such state of happy confusion.

Not being able to keep it to ourselves, we told our children and family immediately. We had an ultrasound and saw our sweet little one, perfectly forming. In between terrible morning sickness, I was making baby name lists and planning the nursery.

From the beginning, I had a very anxious feeling about the baby. I was worried something was going to be wrong, so when we received the results of her genetic testing recommended by the doctor, I breathed a huge sigh of relief when they told us our baby was healthy. The results also told us that we were having a sweet baby girl.

Kamryn Belle.

We named her officially on the plane ride to the Bahamas for our ten year anniversary. Our family and friends had a shower when we returned, where we got everything pink and monogramed with her name. She was so loved and well celebrated.

Soon after, I went by myself to my prenatal appointment. It was an evening appointment, so Jerimy stayed home to feed the kids. The doctor was running late and rushed by the time she got to me. I had been worried about not feeling Kamryn move as much as I thought I should. She listened to my belly with a Doppler, and although we thought we heard it, it wasn’t clear.

We quickly went to an ultrasound room and she started searching. I was anxious, my heart beating loudly in my ears, not able to understand what was happening. The doctor yelled down the hall for a tech, who came in immediately and took over. She stood on one side of me, the doctor on the other; I was looking back and forth between their faces, so confused. The tech shook her head no to my doctor who looked down at me and said, “I’m so sorry, Kara, your baby is dead.”

Dead? My head was spinning, I was shaking my head, tears falling, and I felt like the air was sucked out of the room. Sobs shook through my body and I couldn’t stop saying her name. Kamryn. Not my Kamryn. This couldn’t be happening. I vaguely remember the doctor calling my husband and walking me down to another room. I waited alone there until my husband walked in. My kids in mismatched pajamas waited in another room. We were told that there was nothing we could have done differently, it wasn’t our fault, and that “sometimes, these things just happen.”

We went in the next day to be induced, and after 36 hours of labor, Kamryn Belle was born at 6:01am. Kamryn was so beautiful, and born with a sweet little smile on her face. We held her, kissed her, and cried over our daughter until the funeral home came to take her body. A few hours later, we left the hospital with a box instead of our baby.

That box, my Hope Box, has been a life-changer for me. It put me in touch with women who had experienced the same thing I did—now, I call so many of them friends. It’s been a long two and a half years; I was broken beyond what I ever thought I could be. Now, I am learning that I am not only defined by my broken pieces. I can still be thankful for the things I do have, all while still missing Kamryn. God isn’t finished with me, and I am not too far damaged for Him to use. He is able to restore, but I have to make the choice to let Him. My life looks so different than what I thought it would, and that’s okay. It’s exactly what God knew it would be. Giving that up to Him is a decision that I have to make daily. I miss Kamryn with everything in me, but I trust Him.

– Kara

Hope Mom to Kamryn Belle

Kara lives in Dallas, Texas but still calls Georgia home. She has been happily married to her husband of 12 years. They have two beautiful children on Earth and a baby girl waiting on them in heaven. She spends her day chauffeuring kids around, chasing cats, and crafting pretty things all while drinking coffee by the gallon.

We would be honored to share your story as a Hope Mom on our blog! Every Saturday we feature a Hope Mom’s story in order to showcase God’s faithfulness even in the midst of such deep sorrow. If you would like to have your story shared on our blog for this purpose, learn more and submit here: