My First Time Returning to Work After Loss
I sat in my car, trying to practice the deep breaths I knew I needed to take. I rolled some essential oils on my wrists, touched my Isaac necklace, and thumbed through my purse to be sure the pictures of my baby were still there. I hesitated. I cringed. I wanted to drive away. Instead, I opened the car door, stepped out, stood still and straight, and walked unsteadily towards my office building, pep-talking myself each step of the way.
Thoughts and memories of the baby announcement at work, along with the smiles and well-wishes, flooded my mind as I climbed the ...
Donesia’s Story
My husband and I have an inside joke whenever we hear somewhere say I love you, or even sometimes when we say I love you to each other. We say, “Love, love, love, love.” It’s as if we are asking what love really means. I think we often use the word “love” too casually, not really having a true understanding of the meaning of unconditional love. God’s unconditional and comforting love is a revelation of His true nature. And His healing can be understood more fully within the context of His love.
On December 18, 2016, my baby boy, Ethan, was born. ...
Kayla’s Lament
To lament is to turn to God in honest, desperate prayer, expressing the reality of our emotions—as intense and tumultuous as they may be. Ultimately, a lament is an expression of faith in the God who hears our cries and responds with mercy and grace. In this series, we seek to write our own laments in the style of the Psalmists, beginning by giving voice to the real and raw emotions that accompany our grief, and then lifting our eyes heavenward in trust and adoration of the One who is greater than all of our sorrow.
I’m sorrowful over simply being called to ...
My First Baby Shower Invitation After Loss
When I was little, one of my favorite things was receiving mail. Whether it was a birthday card, a magazine, or a dentist appointment reminder, it thrilled me to see my name in print. The absolute best, though, was a party invitation. That signified that I had been chosen to partake in a day of fun. I would proudly hang the invitation on the refrigerator with a magnet and count down the days until the party. Even now, I still love being invited to share in someone’s special day. I am usually always ready for a celebration. It feels wonderful to be included in those ...
God Will Be Faithful
Welcome to Hope Mommies’ In the Word devotionals. Over the next several weeks, we will be studying the book of Habakkuk together. In this book, we gain insight into how God is at work on our behalf even when we can't always see it. Join us in the weeks ahead as we discover the God who is who carefully and lovingly crafted you, and lovingly created the gift of your child for which you now long. He has not carried you thus far simply to leave you on your own, but will be your Guide and your Strength.
God Will Be Faithful"O Lord, I ...
Grieving Together: Give Grace
Walking through the loss of a child is extremely difficult on its own, but the difficulty can be greatly compounded when walking through that grief with another. In this series, we seek to write about the ways we can encourage and support our spouse in grief, and come together before the Lord instead of being driven apart by sorrow.
“I pray that this trial makes you love God and each other more.”
A family friend texted this to me a few days after she found out my daughter, Isabelle, had died. I cried when I read the text, because I had been praying the ...
Megan’s Lament
To lament is to turn to God in honest, desperate prayer, expressing the reality of our emotions—as intense and tumultuous as they may be. Ultimately, a lament is an expression of faith in the God who hears our cries and responds with mercy and grace. In this series, we seek to write our own laments in the style of the Psalmists, beginning by giving voice to the real and raw emotions that accompany our grief, and then lifting our eyes heavenward in trust and adoration of the One who is greater than all of our sorrow.
Why God, does if feel as though you have ...
Dacie’s Story
"It's a boy!" the ultrasound tech announced. My heart sunk at first. I already had three wild boys that I could barely manage! But when I did a little online shopping for our new little wild one that night, I adjusted to the idea: I was just meant to be a boy mom!
We drove up to north Texas the next week to stay in the camper with my husband where he was working. It was the end of August, the Texas heat was brutal, and the air conditioner went out, so we were headed to pick up a new one. It had rained the night before and early that morning, the first rain in months. I ...
The First Time I Was Alone After Loss
It was a Friday night, exactly thirteen days since Chance’s funeral. I was home alone with the girls while Brandon was at a baseball game with friends. This was the first night since we’d lost Chance that I would be alone for a significant amount of time. Being alone is not something that has ever bothered me, and quite frankly, I enjoy moments to myself. But during that time, as I was grieving the loss of my son, I craved faces and people and bodies.
I knew I was taking a risk. I was putting myself in a vulnerable situation, but I kept telling myself it ...
Grieving Together: Be Honest About Your Feelings
Walking through the loss of a child is extremely difficult on its own, but the difficulty can be greatly compounded when walking through that grief with another. In this series, we seek to write about the ways we can encourage and support our spouse in grief, and come together before the Lord instead of being driven apart by sorrow.
It has taken me nearly five years to look back on our first anniversary without the heaviness washing over me. I would often reflect on our wedding day with weary tears in my eyes thinking, “We had no idea...”
...
