Easter Mourning
Never did the resurrection bring such comfort to my weary heart as when I first found out that my baby’s heart had stopped beating. I was suddenly faced with the reality of death and all that it had stripped me of—all of the firsts and all the memories that would never be experienced, the innocence and care-free naivety of pregnancy, and the sense of “completeness” for our family. Something—someone—would always be missing. Fear and anxiety now had greater access to my heart through the terrible wound that was opened in the wake of my child’s death. Grief would now be my faithful companion for the rest of my weary days on earth.
Perhaps you feel that too, sweet momma. Perhaps Easter does not feel like much of a celebration for you right now. Everywhere you look, families are dressed in adorably coordinated outfits, a painful reminder of the little one that you weren’t able to dress this morning. The sites and sounds of spring are emerging all around you, a picture of new life that seems to just dig the knife of loss further into your already battered heart.
Death is the outcome of sin (Romans 5:12), and since the moment sin entered the word, all of creation has been groaning—grieving—together under its weight. We are all innately aware that life was meant to be so much more than it is, and we are often reminded of how this life falls wretchedly short of what we hoped for and imagined it to be. Perhaps, today, your Easter morning feels much more like Easter mourning.
Though the storm of grief may be raging all around you, there is hope beyond the dark clouds of sorrow. Today, precious momma, we celebrate the resurrection—the moment in history when the cycle of sin and death was finally broken. At the cross, the penalty for our sin was paid, and the depth of God’s love was fully revealed. And when Christ was raised, death was defeated. Jesus bore the weight of sin and death on His shoulders and yet, He prevailed and arose victorious. Death could not keep Him. And because He paved the way as the One person death could not overcome, we no longer need fear the future. The resurrection reveals that death is no longer our final destination. For all who are in Christ, death is merely the beginning of endless life in His glorious presence.
I clung to this truth even as my body clung to a pregnancy that no longer cradled a living baby. The grief, loss, pain, and longing that suddenly flooded my soul will one day be fully reversed. My Christ has already recovered all that has been lost, and it will be enjoyed fully and forever in His presence. The resurrection power of Christ gives us hope, even in the midst of grief. As mothers enduring the painful separation from our dearly loved babies, we must cling to the One who conquered the grave.
The truth of the gospel breathes hope into our weary souls whether our arms are full or empty, and this gospel hope will never disappoint us. Knowing that Christ was raised enables us to wait and endure, persevering until the end of this race. But dear one, we do not simply wait, we wait with joyful anticipation. The empty tomb assures us that the same power that raised Christ from the dead has been offered to us as well; and our babies, who have gone home ahead of us, have been the blessed recipients of that life-raising power as well.
Do you feel as though you have lost all hope? The resurrection means that one day all tears will be wiped away, all sorrow turned to joy. Christ’s suffering served a holy and glorious purpose, and God has a great purpose for your suffering as well.
Are you overwhelmed by the circumstances that are beyond your control? The resurrection means that God holds power over life and death. Nothing is outside of His sovereign control. He can and will use all things for our eternal good and His glory.
Is your faith wavering in the midst of this storm? The resurrection means that God always keeps His promises. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. He is no less good now than He was when He gave His only Son to die in your place.
Look up, sister. Lift your tear-filled eyes to the One who overcame the grave. Surrender your doubts and fears to Him, and let Him fill you with His love, peace, and comfort. Just as the sorrow and darkness of the cross gave way to the victory of the resurrection, so can our Lord take your Easter mourning and turn it into Easter joy.
- Ashlee
Hope Mom to Simeon and Odelle
Ashlee is the Editorial Coordinator for Hope Mommies and author of I AM (Hope Mommies, 2017) and Identity (Hope Mommies, 2018). She and her husband, Jesse, live in Milwaukee with their children—five on earth and two in heaven.
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