Grieving Together: Give Grace

Walking through the loss of a child is extremely difficult on its own, but the difficulty can be greatly compounded when walking through that grief with another. In this series, we seek to write about the ways we can encourage and support our spouse in grief, and come together before the Lord instead of being driven apart by sorrow. “I pray that this trial makes you love God and each other more.” A family friend texted this to me a few days after she found out my daughter, Isabelle, had died. I cried when I read the text, because I had been praying the ...

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Megan’s Lament

To lament is to turn to God in honest, desperate prayer, expressing the reality of our emotions—as intense and tumultuous as they may be. Ultimately, a lament is an expression of faith in the God who hears our cries and responds with mercy and grace. In this series, we seek to write our own laments in the style of the Psalmists, beginning by giving voice to the real and raw emotions that accompany our grief, and then lifting our eyes heavenward in trust and adoration of the One who is greater than all of our sorrow. Why God, does if feel as though you have ...

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Dacie’s Story

"It's a boy!" the ultrasound tech announced. My heart sunk at first. I already had three wild boys that I could barely manage! But when I did a little online shopping for our new little wild one that night, I adjusted to the idea: I was just meant to be a boy mom! We drove up to north Texas the next week to stay in the camper with my husband where he was working. It was the end of August, the Texas heat was brutal, and the air conditioner went out, so we were headed to pick up a new one. It had rained the night before and early that morning, the first rain in months. I ...

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The First Time I Was Alone After Loss

It was a Friday night, exactly thirteen days since Chance’s funeral. I was home alone with the girls while Brandon was at a baseball game with friends. This was the first night since we’d lost Chance that I would be alone for a significant amount of time. Being alone is not something that has ever bothered me, and quite frankly, I enjoy moments to myself. But during that time, as I was grieving the loss of my son, I craved faces and people and bodies.  I knew I was taking a risk. I was putting myself in a vulnerable situation, but I kept telling myself it ...

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Grieving Together: Be Honest About Your Feelings

Walking through the loss of a child is extremely difficult on its own, but the difficulty can be greatly compounded when walking through that grief with another. In this series, we seek to write about the ways we can encourage and support our spouse in grief, and come together before the Lord instead of being driven apart by sorrow. It has taken me nearly five years to look back on our first anniversary without the heaviness washing over me. I would often reflect on our wedding day with weary tears in my eyes thinking, “We had no idea...”  ...

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Your Faith Will Carry You

Welcome to Hope Mommies’ In the Word devotionals. Over the next several weeks, we will be studying the book of Habakkuk together. In this book, we gain insight into how God is at work on our behalf even when we can't always see it. Join us in the weeks ahead as we discover the God who is who carefully and lovingly crafted you, and lovingly created the gift of your child for which you now long. He has not carried you thus far simply to leave you on your own, but will be your Guide and your Strength.  Your Faith Will Carry You "For still ...

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Anticipating the First Birthday

Next week, it will be a year since our daughter, Ginny, was stillborn. Looking from the outside, it may seem that not much has changed since this time last year. We are living in the same house and driving the same roads. I was pregnant then, and I’m pregnant now. I was designing a nursery then, and I’m designing a nursery now. It’s the same room in a different color scheme. It sat empty this year. Most days, no one even entered through the door. Some days, I would enter and sit in the glider. I sat gliding with my empty arms and full but broken heart, staring ...

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The First Pregnancy Announcement I Received After Loss

I’ve often compared my grief to an infant who needs full attention and love to survive. Friends often extend immense grace to us in our grief as they did in my case, but eventually, the attention naturally dwindles as our grief continues. It isn’t because our friends are bad friends who have forgotten about our pain. This world just keeps moving forward and sweeps us right along with it. Life goes on, and naturally other babies enter the story—babies who live and are healthy. This was one of the most difficult parts of my early grief process, but also one of the ...

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Erin’s Story

On March 10, 2015, I gave birth to the most perfect baby girl, Addalyn Grace, weighing in at 4lbs 5oz and 18 inches long. Unfortunately, the doctors didn’t see how perfectly God formed her. They pointed out every “flaw” while all I saw was my beautiful girl. They sent us home on hospice when she was three days old with a diagnosis of Trisomy 18 and a prognosis of a month at the most.  Our first night at home was terrifying, to say the least. I didn’t know how it was going to happen—if she would die slowly or if we would wake up to her lifeless body. The ...

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Grieving Together: Recognize That You Will Grieve Differently