His Perfect Love Casts Out Fear

Fear has always been an unwelcome companion in my life.

As far back as I can remember, I was well acquainted with that tight feeling in my stomach and the shortness of breath in my lungs that I would get when I was afraid. Many of my decisions were shaped by it.

I didn’t make it through many sleep overs as a child because fear would call me home. I wouldn’t open up to many people, because fear was always there to remind me that others may not accept or understand me. Fear convinced me to say no to countless opportunities as I got older because it would whisper dozens of excuses to me;

Don’t try, you might fail.
Don’t reach out, you might get rejected.
Don’t believe that God will come through, He might disappoint you.

The thing I’ve learned about fear is that it’s the best tactic the enemy can use. If he keeps us afraid, we aren’t a threat to him.

I was kept afraid for a very, long time. And the worst part was, I was completely oblivious to the fear in my life. Until my daughter died.

Shortly after she died, I began experiencing a crippling fear that was impossible to ignore. I couldn’t drive within a mile of the hospital where she was born or I would have to pull over because of panic attacks. The tightness in my tummy and the shortness of breath intensified to the point that I couldn’t move or speak. I would wake up screaming from the dreams of her dying in my arms, unable to save her, over and over again. I had flash backs constantly. The fear that I had experienced my whole life became truly real to me then. It had truly come to the surface—an ugly beast that had become unmanageable. I felt like a prisoner.

When I began looking into my Bible, searching for verses on fear, I was amazed at what I found.

“Fear and trembling overwhelm me and I can’t stop shaking” Psalm 55:5

Yes, this describes me perfectly.

“Fear gripped me, and my bones trembled.” Job 4:14

Exactly. I feel like the fear is crippling me.

Then, I kept searching.

“His perfect love casts out all fear” 1 John 4:18

“They do not fear bad news; they are confidently trusting the Lord to care for them” Psalm 112:7

And this last one I spent the next few months mediating on constantly until the panic attacks, nightmares, and flash backs subsided.

“You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in You, all whose thoughts are fixed on You!”
-Isaiah 26:3

I had a revelation during my search in the Scriptures—God is greater than my fears. He is the only One who can free me from the prison cell of fear that I felt completely held captive to. His perfect peace reminds me that He is in control. He is sovereign and has the final say.

But, my daughter died.

Yes, she did. But God promises eternal life for all those who call Him Lord. Death is not the end.

But, I prayed that she would be healed and she wasn’t.

She wasn’t healed here on earth, but she is eternally healed and whole in heaven. 

I started to realize during this time in God’s Word that if I trust Him completely, I don’t need to fear anything. Pain will come. And so will loss. But nothing is lost forever when we are in Christ. As I rested more and more in Him, meditated on the Word, and filled my heart with worship music when I was in a situation that would normally trigger a panic attack, the fear lessened. As weeks and months went by, His peace became more and more real to me. The nightmares stopped, and dreams of my daughter in heaven in His perfect peace came. Slowly, but faithfully, His perfect love truly casted out the fear that I had been so crippled by.

This post originally appeared on the blog on September 26, 2015

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Lindsey is a mama to two babies; Faith Leigh Ann in heaven, and Logan Jacob on earth. She says becoming a hope mom shook her faith to the core, and ignited a passion for Jesus she never knew before. She loves coffee, worship music, talking to anyone she meets, trail running, sunshine, traveling as an army wife, and getting to know God more through His Word.

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