Jennifer’s Story
From early in our marriage, we had talked about having four children. Right after an end of year trip for our 10th anniversary, we learned we were expecting our 4th baby! We were thrilled! I wasn't experiencing the symptoms that I typically did with early pregnancy, but knowing every pregnancy can be different, I tried not to be concerned. We were already thinking of what the future would hold with a new baby. But, on January 18, 2014, the day did not go as anticipated. I started lightly bleeding, and my heart dropped. It soon turned into heavier bleeding, to the point ...
Book Review: “An Inheritance of Tears,” by Jessalyn Hutto
An Inheritance of Tears: Trusting the Lord of Life When Death Visits the Womb by Jessalyn Hutto, is a brief book of about 100 pages packed with Scriptural, gospel-centered perspective for women who have experienced baby loss. In five chapters, Hutto takes us through theology for death and suffering as a woman who is, sorrowfully, very familiar with baby loss due to miscarriage.
Our Limited Understanding
Hutto acknowledges that when we have experienced something so traumatic in our lives, our minds tend to want to fill the gap in understanding, meaning we seek to grasp&...
Lindsey’s Story
After just 6 months of marriage my husband and I were overjoyed to find out we were pregnant with our first child only to discover 3 months later that our little girl, Sophia Kyla, had a fatal neural tube condition called anencephaly and would not live once born. When 95% of babies diagnosed with a fatal condition are terminated, we were determined to carry her to term and celebrate every moment of her life no matter the cost. As Sophie’s story began to unfold, our community rallied around us to help us celebrate Sophie’s short life. Unbeknownst to Kevin and I, a ...
Testimony Tuesday {Sarah’s Retreat Experience}
March 23, 2015: My daughter, Eisley Hope, was born at 31 weeks. I went into preterm labor and much to our surprise, she was delivered with a chromosome abnormality and fatal diagnosis. After 12 sweet days, I held my girl for the 4th and final time while “Oceans” by Hillsong played on repeat in the background. To say my faith was shaken is an understatement. The first 15 years of my life, I was a part of a reformed church, and I understood that having a "crisis of faith" supposedly meant that I wasn't saved. I should be blessed to have such affliction and ...
Megan’s Story
My husband and I have lived in Osaka, Japan working as church planters for the last six years. The Japanese are considered “unreached,” meaning less than 1% are Christian; most people have little to no understanding of the Gospel. We have been blessed to have two children in Japan. My Japanese friends ask me how childbirth here compares to the United States, to which I usually grin and say, “I don't know, I’ve never given birth there!”
I was so anxious to get pregnant with our third child. We have a four-year-old boy, and a two-year-old girl, and I was excited ...
Testimony Tuesdays {Hope Box Gathering}
Some days are more memorable than others. This was just such a day. Because on this day, I put hope in a box and tied it up with a jute twine bow.
This day was years in the making.
This day was the culmination of months and months of planning. This day, wishing turned into reality. This day helped give my pain meaning. This day helped give my baby's death purpose. Somehow, putting hope in a box and tying it up with a bow for another mother who lost her baby helped answer the "why" of losing mine.
I wish there were not a need for one more ...
Paige’s Story of Hope
After almost a year of trying, we finally got pregnant with our second baby and were able to surprise my Dad on Father’s Day with the news. Just six short weeks later on July 26, our family got the worst blow we have ever experienced when we lost my Dad unexpectedly in an electrical accident while working under my parent’s farmhouse. A week to the day following his accident I started experiencing complications in my pregnancy and was immediately sent to my doctor’s office for an ultrasound. Much to my relief there was still a strong heartbeat, everything seemed ...
Testimony Tuesday: Courtney’s Testimony
I’ve thought a lot about the experience of suffering and the Bible’s response to our suffering this past year. Before our miscarriage and infertility I quickly passed over passages on suffering, not because I didn’t see them as important, but I just didn’t relate to them. I had faced trials before, but nothing that really made me wrestle with God’s good plan for my life in the way I have recently. I don’t doubt His goodness; I just need to understand it more than ever before. While difficult, that is a good result of our suffering. It causes us to lean hard ...
Jean’s Story
Memories can be triggered by sights, sounds, or smells. Every time I see a Hershey's bar, I think of my dad. He loved them! A good memory – along with the pain of the loss.
We never know when a memory will be brought to mind. A recent memory was triggered by a place. This memory goes back 33 years.
A friend had been on bed rest due to bleeding and early contractions at 24.5 weeks. We got the news (amazing how with social media and texting you hear about things as they are happening!) that her water broke and she would deliver that day – at 27 weeks. We were ...
Testimony Tuesday {Julie’s Retreat Experience}
I came to the Hope Mommies retreat in 2015 as a mom who was grieving “well.” I was surrounded by a supportive community who had been caring for my family faithfully for the past 10 months. I had allowed my suffering to push me closer to the Lord and though I wrestled with Him, I trusted Him. My husband and I spent many evenings talking, processing and encouraging one another in the Lord. I had read many devotionals, commentaries and books on suffering as I sought after Jesus. I was truly in a good place with my grief. Don’t get me wrong, I missed my daughter terribly ...
