Hope Dads: Lead the Way {And a Giveaway!}
A Note From The Director:
Questions have come up several times since Hope Mommies inception, “What about dads?” or “What help do you offer for dads?”
Similar questions have also been posed like, “What do you offer for couples going through infant loss?” or “Do you have retreats for couples and families?”
Worry not, we have a heart for the whole family and the Hope Mommies Board of Directors and Leadership Team considers these questions often. We do indeed desire to expand the ministry into these avenues one day. For now, however, Hope Mommies is focused on sustaining and excellently executing the aspects of ministry that we have already been entrusted (i.e. Hope Boxes, Hope Groups, Retreats, etc.).
Lead The Way
by Blair Cushman
Men and women are unique in more ways than just their physical aspects. We grieve differently, process differently, respond differently, work differently, anger differently, and so on. (I think you get the picture!) God has designed us in unique and complementary ways. We acknowledge this when it comes to work and recreation, yet somehow fail to acknowledge it in the midst of grief. We expect our spouse to grieve in the same way, to process pain similarly, and to bounce back to the way life was before loss at the same speed as us. Why is this?
Ultimately, sin has infected us and that affects how we treat others.
We are clouded by our pain and become increasingly self-focused.
We feel alone in our experience and want the person closest to us to experience exactly what we are feeling.
Praise God that He did not leave us in despair, has given us hope in Christ, and by His Spirit can raise us above the forest of pain to see the uniqueness of the trees! Marital bliss does not have to blister because of miscarriage. Stillbirth does not have to sever the deep roots of a godly marriage. Marriages do not have to come to a premature end because of premature death. There is hope!
Therefore, dads.
Husbands.
Men.
Hear me say this in the most gentle and urgent manner— you can lead the way in godly grieving. Tumultuous times are not for abdicating our responsibility as husbands. Quite the opposite actually. In times of pain we are to peer through our tear-glazed eyes to the hills and ask with the Psalmist “Where does my help come from?” And there you find the answer. My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth (Psalm 121:1). Living in the Texas hill country I found this Psalm come to mind often in the days, months, and now years since Gwen fell asleep. The hills are God’s tender reminder of His ever-present help. The one who made the heavens and earth and Gwen is in control of all things and His Spirit, the Helper, resides in me. An Advocate of the way, truth, and life.
Grab your wife’s hand and lead the way. Love the way. Cling with an outstretched hand to the Lord and with the other hold tightly to your wife and make the journey through grief together. It’s an awkward dance floor as you gambol together through hope and pain. Joy and despair. Your wife’s steps may be to a separate beat initially, but as you cooperatively follow the Spirit’s instructions, and bank your hope on the trustworthiness of the Word, you will find over time your steps aligning in a majestic sweep across the dance floor.
Father’s Day may be bittersweet for you. The intruder Death has come as an uninvited guest and ruined this holiday. Hope Mommies offers support and hope to grieving dads like you, though currently in less formal avenues than for moms. You may send an email to info@hopemommies.org with your contact information and I or another Hope Dad will be in touch.
Be on the alert, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love. -1 Corinthians 16:13-14
Hope Mommies is pleased to partner with Lisa Leonard this Father’s Day to give away a customized Leather Cuff! A winner will be chosen on Monday, June 2, 2014. You may enter to win below!
Chelsie Moore
May 30, 2014 (12:43 pm)
I would engrave James & Roland ♡
Our twins names born 15 weeks to early, they were both daddies pride and joys. He would love a cuff like this
Shaina
May 30, 2014 (12:47 pm)
I love this and I know Sid would too!! So sweet!
Sara Bradshaw
May 30, 2014 (1:37 pm)
Love the cuff! What a great present for my husband!
Lora Rhae Smith
May 30, 2014 (2:01 pm)
I would have our boys names engraved, James Mason and Liam Gregory.
Jana E
May 30, 2014 (2:10 pm)
I would have Brayden : Liam : Nathanael engraved on it. Brayden was our firstborn, a son, stillborn at 36 weeks. Liam and Nathanael are our rainbow babies. This would be great for my husband for Father’s Day!
Lindsey
May 30, 2014 (2:55 pm)
We would engrave it with the names of our boys Elijah & Jonah
Tiffany
May 30, 2014 (5:26 pm)
I would put our sons name.
Emily Strong
May 30, 2014 (5:51 pm)
Would love this for a friend who lost his son earlier this year.
Angie Risley-Merritt
May 30, 2014 (6:18 pm)
We would engrave with the names of all three babies we have lost: Lola, Jude and Ada.
Elizabeth
May 30, 2014 (6:19 pm)
I would have Xander Ray engraved. He is our first boy after three girls. He was born sleeping at 38 weeks.
Leah
May 30, 2014 (7:12 pm)
I would have our sweet firstborn daughter’s name engraved on the cuff – Sophia Christine who was born too early at 22 1/2 weeks gestation. What a beautiful cuff!
Kristal Willis
May 30, 2014 (7:35 pm)
I would have my sweet boy’s name engraved, Dane Davis Riffe Jr. Daddy’s little namesake:)
Tara Branch
May 30, 2014 (9:31 pm)
What a sweet reminder for my husband of his second son, Barrett Thompson Branch! We neeeeeed it! 😉
paula
May 30, 2014 (9:33 pm)
would love this for my husband.
Caroline
May 30, 2014 (9:57 pm)
Love this!
I would engrave the names of our twin Sons we adopted out of Foster Care : Derrick Samuel & Eli Asher.
Andrea Fifield
May 30, 2014 (10:58 pm)
Very cool for Father’s Day!
Monica Pancake
May 31, 2014 (4:56 pm)
What a great way to honor and remember that the men who have lossed their child too!
Monica Pancake
May 31, 2014 (5:28 pm)
What a great way to honor the father’s that have lossed children too! We often forget their pain. My husband would love to have a bracelet with Dorian’s full name and birthdate on it. Thank YOU!
Sandie
May 31, 2014 (7:11 pm)
I would have it engraved for a family friend who isn’t able to be with his children as much as he would like to.
Wehaf
June 1, 2014 (5:25 am)
I would put my favorite quote on it.
Sunney Johnson
June 2, 2014 (2:13 pm)
I would Love this for my Husband! I would have Carra Dawn put in it for our Angel Baby. I know he would Love this because for over twenty years he wore a leather bracelet that his Father gave him right before he passed, when my hubby was ten years old. It finally gave out, so he is not able to wear it anymore. It would truly be a Blessing and I know he would cherish and wear it for many years to come. God Bless all of the Hope Daddies!