Testimony Tuesday {Crystal’s Retreat Experience}

When I lost my first son, Wyatt on June 18, 2013, I was completely heartbroken. I was young and it was my first pregnancy. I shouldn’t be leaving the hospital without a baby, but I was. I remember thinking “Does this really happen? Am I the only one going through this? Why me? What did I do wrong?” A few weeks after Wyatt was born I felt myself start really wondering how many other moms also had to go through this pain. I then got a Hope Box from a good friend of mine and started looking into Hope Mommies more. That was the first time I had ever heard of Hope Mommies and I was blown away the more I read about it!  I found out that they had a retreat every year for moms just like me! I remember thinking “there is enough moms who have lost babies to have a retreat??” It amazed me that there were so many other moms going through the same thing! Finally I convinced myself to register for the 2015 Retreat and am SO glad I did!

As I got in the car to make the short 2 hour drive to Giddings, TX for the 2015 Hope Mommies Retreat, I remember thinking “What am I getting myself into? I’m so nervous!” Pulling up to Camp Tejas I was so anxious and worried that I would get judged or looked down on for being there two whole years after Wyatt had passed away. Surely I’m the only one still struggling with this. Boy was I so wrong!

I could just feel the love coming from everyone in the room.

– Crystal, Hope Mom to Wyatt

Just walking up to the retreat everyone was so welcoming and loving! As we sat down for dinner Friday night I knew I was in the right place. I could just feel the love coming from everyone in the room. It was so nice to sit down with total strangers and have the exact same feelings, thoughts and just connect, even though we had never met before. As we broke into small groups, I was blown away again! The small groups are such a special place and time to be in a smaller setting and talk about your sweet baby.

One of my favorite parts of the whole weekend was the prayer room and pictures on the wall! I loved seeing all those precious babies together—I know they are all playing and happy together in Heaven! I also loved that almost everywhere I went, I would find Wyatt’s name on something or get a gift with his name on it. It was so nice to actually see his name on something and have people that remember him as my son. The speaker was absolutely wonderful! She spoke right to our hearts and knew exactly what we were thinking. I also loved singing and worshiping with all the other moms and the balloon release was beautiful! Just knowing all those balloons were going to our sweet babies in their honor made my heart smile! The theme of the retreat was “Crown of Beauty.” We got to make an actual crown of flowers to wear the rest of the day! I thought that was a great surprise to remind us that even though we may not feel like it every day—we are still beautiful! As the weekend came to a close, I found myself feeling sad to leave. I was not done learning about all the other babies, moms, and telling my story. On the drive back home I found I was feeling a new sense of hope and healing.

Before the retreat I had no idea that there were so many other women who were going through the exact same thing as me! There were around 70 stories and women having the same feelings and thoughts just like me! It was so nice to know that other people were experiencing the same grief as me and I was not alone! Everyone at the retreat did an amazing job making everyone feel comfortable and connected. I would highly recommend anyone who is even thinking about signing up for the retreat to do so! You will be so glad you did! It is such a safe and healing place to show off all those precious babies. Remember—you are not alone! Someone somewhere is going through the same thing as you and maybe by sharing your baby and story, it will help someone else overcome with grief to come out and share their baby and story as well!

On the drive back home I found I was feeling a new sense of hope and healing. It was so nice to know that other people were experiencing the same grief as me and I was not alone!

“We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.”

Registration for the Hope Mommies Retreat is now open! Learn all of the details –> HERE

Crystal, Hope Mom to Wyatt

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