Megan’s Story

“My husband and I were married in June of 2012. We were very excited to learn in July that we were pregnant shortly after getting married. We had a few scares at the beginning of the pregnancy, but at my 13 week appointment we heard the heartbeat and the doctor confirmed that everything was going well. Our excitement grew each day as we started to prepare to become first time parents.

A few weeks later in late September I traveled out of town to visit my parents while my husband was away for work. On a beautiful Fall Sunday afternoon I went to use the restroom shortly after lunch. I was planning on going shopping with my mom and sister. But instead, there I delivered my beautiful baby boy, without any pain or any warning. I had just turned 16 weeks pregnant.

My family rushed me to the emergency room. My baby was weighed and we were allowed to hold him. I studied his perfectly formed 2 ounce body that had been made in God’s image. You could tell already that he looked like his daddy. I held my baby boy for over 12 hours while we waited for his daddy to arrive. While waiting, I could hear other babies being born in the rooms next to me. During this time, thanked the Lord for letting me be his mommy but I began to pray for a “take home” baby.

The next few months after our loss were some of the hardest in our lives. But, we held onto Philippians 4:8 and Romans 5:4 and the hope that can only be found in Jesus Christ. During this time we decided that should we ever be blessed with a daughter we would name her Hope. Then amazingly 15 months after our loss we found out we were expecting again. We were very excited but very nervous because we never received a diagnosis for why our son was born so early. I had a suspicion that I had cervical insufficiency, but the doctors said there was no way of proving that until it happened again.

One weekend in May at 22 weeks I had “mother’s intuition” that something was wrong, even though I had very few warning signs. Our anatomy scan was scheduled for Monday, but for a piece of mind my husband and I choose to go into the ER on Sunday anyway. It was confirmed that I was 2-3 centimeters dilated and that my waters were already funneling through my cervix. There my concerns were verified that I do have an insufficient cervix. The doctor told us that we were going to have another pregnancy loss. Right then and there my husband and I began to pray. We knew that God was the only one who was going to get us through this again. But, “where there is a heartbeat there is hope!” This time, our baby was still alive and we were not going to give up on her.

Miraculously I lasted another week on bedrest with my water broken, and our daughter was born on the 22/23 week line weighing just over a pound. We did indeed name her Hope! Many times during our NICU journey the nurses would comment on our strength and happiness. It only came from the Lord. I would always tell them that my husband and knew what it was like to leave the hospital with empty arms. As long as our daughter’s heart was beating we had the possibility to take her home. And for that every day we rejoiced! The NICU road was tough, but she became our “take home” baby! We were able to bring her home the week of her due date after a 4 month NICU stay. She miraculously is doing wonderfully at home and has caught up to her adjusted age. We do indeed serve a redeeming God!!!

Through these experiences, my husband and I have turned to Christ. Without Him, we do not know how we would have made it through. Every day I see the Gospel shown through my baby boy’s death. Romans 6:23 states “For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord”. And Romans 3:23 states “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Because we all are sinners we all will face death one day….it just comes at different times for different people.

Babies are not exempt from this. Because they are born into sin, they can also die. But, here comes the good part!!! If we repent of our sins and believe in Christ for the forgiveness of our sins we will not parish, but will spend eternity with Him! (John 3:16). We also have hope in knowing that because our son never reached the age of accountability, he will spend eternity in Heaven.

Every day our hearts hurt that we are not able to be earthly parents to our son. But, he’s in a better place and we have hope knowing that we will see him again one day. We are very blessed that God gave us our “take home” baby and we will make sure that she knows how much we love her and her big brother. We also will try our best to raise her in the Lord’s Truth(Bible) so that once she is old enough, she will choose to forsake herself and follow Christ.

It is my and my husband’s hope that our story will point others to Christ. Because of Adam and Eve’s sin, we all are born sinners and face the effects of the curse during this life. God never promised to exempt His people from the curse. But, He does promise to carry us through!!!! We definitely have felt him carrying us through these last three years. May you all find truth in the God of the Bible and redemption from your sins. Through Christ there indeed is HOPE!”

-Megan A
Hope Mom to Grayson

“Megan is a part-time CPA, a wife to Frank, and a mommy to her miracle daughter Hope and son Grayson, who is in Heaven with Jesus. She loves online scrapbooking, spending time with family, and spreading awareness for prematurity and infant loss.”

Are you a writer?  Hope Mommies would love to share your story as a Hope Mom on our blog.  Every Saturday we will be sharing another Hope Mom’s story in order to showcase God’s faithfulness even in the midst of such deep sorrow.  If you would like to have your story shared on our blog for this purpose please send a draft between 800-1200 words to editor (at) hopemommies (dot) org.