Retreat Testimony {Nelly’s Experience}

“And large crowds came to Him, bringing with them those who were lame, crippled, blind, mute, and many others, and they laid them down at His feet; and He healed them.” Matthew 15:30

February 27, 2014 marked 11 months since my sweet Corbin took his first and last breath on earth. This was also day one of the retreat. God knew my heart desperately needed to be surrounded by fellow mamas whose hearts were also aching and hurting from the loss of their sweet ones. Through snow, ice, and sleet we made the trip down to Giddings, TX where my life would be changed. Little did I know what God’s plans were during this weekend where He slowly mended my heart and brought forth healing and the truth that Corbin’s life had purpose.

As the first few minutes of the retreat came to pass I felt so welcomed, so loved, and I knew that God, in His sovereignty, had already been before all of us to orchestrate every beautiful detail like only He can. After loosing Corbin, I struggled with finding someone who could I identify with this deep pain. I didn’t know another mother who had to say “good-bye” too soon to their long awaited child. The Hope Mommies retreat provided just that. Many opportunities to speak Corbin’s name, to validate, that although my arms are empty, I did have a child — I was his mama and him my beloved son. I hugged, loved, and worshipped with women whose hearts were heavy and the burdens we carried felt like they were just too much. As Matthew 15:30 states, this “large” crowd of 50 something women came as we were, lame, crippled, blind, mute all due to our fear, sadness, and brokenness. But there in the midst of this pain, healing took place.

The friendships and bonds that were made over the weekend were a beautiful depiction of the church and how God uses us to be His hands and his feet. I was blessed by the words Erin used to describe our babies as she said that while we were all gathered praising, worshipping, and honoring our sweet babies, they were probably in heaven looking down and saying “Hey, look, there’s my mama right there! She makes me proud!”

I felt healing as I learned that my son and his 2 hours and 3 minutes of life had purpose. I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit as we all worshipped with these words:

“My heart and flesh may fail
The earth below give way
But with my eyes, with my eyes I’ll see the Lord
Lifted high on that day
Behold, the Lamb that was slain
And I’ll know every tear was worth it all”.

I felt God’s comfort and presence as I talked and prayed with other mamas and spoke the name of their precious children who have left an imprint in my heart.

This retreat will always be a place that my heart and soul remember. I left feeling refreshed and with a deeper appreciation of my Savior and the love He has for me and Corbin. Christ will come soon and then I will be reunited with this sweet boy whose love I carry in my heart.”

-Nelly A
Hope Mom to Corbin