Krista’s Story

In June of 2017, I found out I was pregnant with my fourth child. My husband and I were so excited to add to our family. My oldest was hoping for a baby sister as she has two younger brothers. Our excitement quickly turned to heartache when an ultrasound at 12 weeks revealed that our baby had a cystic hygroma and the start of hydrops. 

A blood test revealed that our unborn baby girl had Turner syndrome, and because of the complications that she was presenting, she only had a 1% chance of making it to birth. We decided that her name was going to be Aletheia (which means truth) Hope Arete (which means virtue). I knew I would need to cling to the truths of God’s Word no matter what the outcome was going to be. 

At my 19 week scan, Aletheia was a lot worse than she was at 16 weeks. She had fluid throughout her body, and her cerebellum was splayed. My mom was with me at this scan and she asked, “How much more time does she have left?” The ultrasound sonographer said that at most she had about two more weeks. I was devastated and begged God to heal her. 

The verse that I held close to my heart during this time was Psalm 23:4 “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; Your rod and staff, they comfort me.” I knew that God was going to get me through this even when it was so dark. The comfort of Scripture was there, and it was what I had to cling to.

On September 27, I went to my MFM and heard Aletheia’s heartbeat for what would be the last time. The next day, I sat down to listen to her heartbeat on my own home Doppler, but I couldn’t find it. I called my MFM, and they told me to come in. I told my husband that we needed to head to Iowa City where my MFM was, and then I called my parents and asked them to meet us there. 

I had to go back to the room alone because my parents weren’t there yet, and my husband needed to stay with our kids. The nurse put the Doppler on my belly, and there was silence. She kept moving it around—still nothing. She said something about me being 22 weeks and a small baby being hard to locate sometimes, but I knew that my baby girl had been called home. The nurse went and got the doctor, my husband, and mom. They did an ultrasound, and it confirmed what I already knew—my sweet baby girl had gone to be with Jesus.

I started sobbing. 

My dad and kids were brought in, and through tears I said, “Daddy my baby is gone.” 

We took the kids home, got a sitter, and then made our way back to the hospital to be induced. At 3:55am, Aletheia Hope Arete Gates was born sleeping. She weighed 2lbs 2oz. She had so much swelling because of the fluid, and the cyst on the back of her neck was bigger than she was. But she was so beautiful. We held her body for 12 hrs, and then said goodbye to her on this side of heaven. 

After losing Aletheia, I found a grief support group in my city. It was run by a lady whose sister committed suicide, and she wanted a support group for those who have lost a loved one. She was a believer, and it was so refreshing to be able to share my grief with everyone in the group,  knowing that we were grieving with hope.

A few months later, I found out I was pregnant again, and at my 12 week ultrasound everything looked good.  However, at 15 weeks I was having some bleeding. I went to the ER and an ultrasound was performed. It showed that the baby no longer had a heartbeat. I had to have a D&C. Testing on the baby showed that she was a girl, and there was nothing wrong with her. We named her Talitha Charity Mae. 

Through the loss of my two precious girls, God has been so faithful. He Himself knows what it’s like to lose a child, and it’s because of His Son’s death on the cross that my girls are in heaven. One day, I will see them both again. 

On July 19, 2019, we welcomed a new baby, Olivia Joy Elaine, into our family. Two days after Olivia was born, it was time to go home from the hospital. I was looking at my memories on Facebook, and came upon the day that we found out that Aletheia was so sick. It was two years to the day that we were able to bring our precious Olivia home from the hospital. The Lord knew what my heart needed that day. He’s been so good throughout all this. I miss my girls so much, but I am reminded that they are with the one who created them and loves them even more than I do.

I am a wife to my husband Caleb and we have six children, four living, Sophia,7, Isaac, 5,
Owen, 4, and Olivia, born July 19, 2019, and two Hope Babies Aletheia and Talitha.

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