Before experiencing loss, I had a general understanding that Satan has a level of control over the world today. Yet, I often lived flippantly, as if the effects of this invisible war waging above had me out of reach. I failed to accept the full reality of this spiritual battle enough to seek my own preparation before it became my spiritual battle. I constantly allowed my fear to reign and sought out my own short-term resolutions until illness, pain, suffering, the obvious presence of sin, and death completely shattered that false reality. Evil’s reign in this current day suddenly became extremely personal and offensive, like Satan brought his spiritual battle right to my front doorstep with open fire.
I quickly knew Anna’s physical death was only the beginning of a new war, one waged on my mind. Frankly, it felt unfair and cruel that I would have to deal with more than the loss of my daughter. I felt beat up, worn down, and unable to fight what was ahead, leaving me to strongly re-consider which tactics I would have to fight back with. Anna’s death was uncontrollable, but in this round I had a fighting chance, the choice to be obedient with my thoughts and actions—to win by honoring God instead of submitting to Satan’s temptations
God is gracious in that He doesn’t make us fight our battles alone, empty handed, or with our own feeble weapons. He is there for us (Psalm 46:1), with us (Psalm 23:4), and delivering us from trouble (Psalm 34:17). He bolsters us in the fight, yet gives us an important role—providing an entire suit of armor for us to don amidst this battle (Ephesians 6:13). Each piece has a distinct purpose and importance, being made stronger by the others, and equipping us to fight an unseen spiritual battle.
The Word of God became my greatest protection and deliverance. Satan’s wiles were laser focused on my mind, challenging me with intrusive thoughts of anger, distrust, frustration, envy, and hate, whispering lies that caused me to question God’s goodness and purposes for me. Satan was working overtime to distract and detain every thought that entered my mind, using my grief wound as the weak entry point for his attack. Can you relate?
At one point, there were more “whys” asked over my loss than there were thoughts focusing on the “Who” that remained the same through it all. My thoughts devolved quickly, my mind was a dangerous place where feelings were set loose to wander into unrighteousness and contempt. Finally, I engaged my helmet of salvation and with it brought protection over my mind through the Word of God.
In Ephesians 6, Paul chose to exhort us to take up this helmet of salvation in the same sentence that he says to pick up the sword (the Word of God), because without the Word filling our minds, we are left vulnerable (Psalm 119:11). It wasn’t my head that needed protection, it was my mind. My battle was not of flesh and blood, but of spiritual, unseen things (Ephesians 6:12) —the thoughts of my mind and the intent of my heart.
“For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and ever high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ…”
2 Corinthians 10:3-5 (NKJV)
Satan may be the ruler of this age (Ephesians 6:12), roaming back and forth among the earth (Job 1:7) seeking to destroy and tempt us (1 Peter 5:8), but Jesus has already claimed victory over the entire spiritual war. He teaches us to “take heart” (John 16:33) and to wait for His return with anticipation (Matthew 24:42)! This is exactly where we can focus our minds—on truth, Scripture, the future victory we have obtained through Christ, and most importantly, on the Lord, Himself.
Ladies, when your thoughts become unbearable and unrelenting, when your own death crosses your mind as a viable option to stop the pain, or you are constantly dwelling on how terribly unfair it is that this is your story, your mind needs the protection of God’s Word. We must replace the lies with truth by renewing our minds (Romans 12:2), and fight Satan back by taking our thoughts captive in obedience to the Lord! This isn’t optional, it is crucial. This is where we will fight and win our greatest battles in grief and loss.
What thoughts are you ruminating on that are exalting themselves against the knowledge of God? Are you seeking a deeper knowledge of God in your grief? Are you bringing sinful thoughts into captivity? I encourage you to write out each lie that Satan is tempting you to believe, and search Scripture in order to refute them. Start protecting your mind with the truth of His gift of eternal salvation (John 3:16-17), your foundation in Christ, and the gift of His deliverance from the temporary evil that rages against us, being mindful of God always. Don’t allow Satan the privilege of dominating your thoughts; your mind is the Lord’s territory. This is His battle.
“Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.”
Philippians 4:8 (NKJV)
- Kayla
Hope Mom to Anna Joy
I am married to Justin and Hope Mommy to Anna Joy. We live in sunny south Florida where I love reading, writing, teaching, and just being with family & friends! I work in the hospital as a RN, and humbly serve as volunteer Nurse Manager at our local pregnancy resource center, Care Net. My personal ministry passions include leading women to deeper understanding of Jesus’ truth through their marriage struggles, sexuality, and miscarriage.
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