Book Review: “A Heart Set Free,” by Christina Fox
Melissa Kruger, who blogs at The Gospel Coalition, wrote this in the foreword of A Heart Set Free, by Christina Fox, concerning her struggle to reconcile feelings with the Christian faith: “Each time I tried to push [my emotions] down, they would pop back up in another form. In some ways, I found myself struggling with the fact that I had any negative emotions at all. Wasn’t I supposed to “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you”? (1 Thess. 5:16-18) Did this verse leave room for sorrow, fear, anxiety, or grief?” Kruger endorses Fox’s work as a way to process the complexities of our emotions; you can read Kruger’s full foreword here.
Do you have room and space for your grief—to know it is the appropriate Christian response to devastating loss? Do you sense that there is space in your life to process what you have endured? If you want to feel refreshed in the foundational truths of Christianity, or be taken through them for the first time, while also be given space for your emotions through a Psalms-based perspective on lament, you will appreciate A Heart Set Free, by Christina Fox. The subtitle of the book reads: “A Journey to Hope through the Psalms of Lament.” Fox uses the first section of her book to introduce the foundational truths of the gospel, and then identifies the pattern of lament in the Psalms to help us openly acknowledge our feelings and relate to God in honest and truthful prayer.
Applying the wisdom in Fox’s book helps us to know that as we work to identify emotions—give room and attention to them—and then use our minds to speak truth to them, grief is at work. In our grief, there is a deluge of feelings to identify and reconcile with Scripture, hard questions to ask, tearful prayers to utter before God, and learning to be done about Biblical theology—like about heaven, the origin of death, or what happens after death. But the work is good. And we do not need to be discouraged as we enter into this work, because as we work, God does this work in us. Fox writes, “When it comes to our emotions and the ways we are held captive by our emotions, we have to put some hard work into this process of gaining freedom from that captivity” (pg. 133). She then encourages that, “Even on our darkest days, the Spirit never ceases His work in us” (pg. 133). Even for us, on the days when our babies were taken to heaven, His work didn’t stop in us then, and it continues today in this journey as we lament our separation from our babies.
As we grieve, we face many questions for how to understand and approach the remainder of our days here, like: For how long will this desperate pain continue? When will I be around babies and not cry because all I can see is that my child’s face is missing from among them? How do I know when I will be able to fully return to all of my responsibilities? How do I know if I am really healing or if I am avoiding this pain? We deeply lament that God has not given us our dearly desired children on this earth. But God has not left us. He is with us as we grieve and we can ask Him our questions and requests to feel restored.
Because Fox’s audience is broad—to all who lament, not specifically to those who grieve or grieve the loss of babies—she does not always speak to the particular hopes and promises that we claim in our unique situation. For example, in chapter 8, Fox shares that we can ask God for specific requests, knowing that we are loved by Him. While Fox, very clearly, does not promise that God will give us all that we desire in this life, she also—given her audience—does not affirm to us in our unique situation that God has not overlooked our babies, and that we can have the hope that they are with Him. So, let me encourage you now ahead of reading: God has not overlooked your baby or you; He has given your baby the greatest gift of eternity with Him and while He has not given you the fulfillment in this life of your very good desire for this child to be near, He is still your hope; one day, all these things will be made right if you believe in Christ for the forgiveness of your sins.
Now, walking through the process of Biblical lament with Fox teaches us 1) how to speak our hurt and be open with God, 2) how to ask God for specific requests and help, and finally, 3) how to respond in worshipful trust in God. She teaches that the Psalms represents a period of time—that the Psalms were likely written in retrospect and that we do not know how long the author’s process took, just like we are not sovereign over the length or course of our own individual processes of grief (pg. 125). Even while our lamenting is often set on repeat—visiting and revisiting the same feelings and reminders in a cyclical experience—God knows our grief from beginning to end and He leads us through it.
Through Fox’s inviting, clear, and practical style, you’ll be given a guide to venting your feelings and, also, direction to know what to do with them once they are out. She will show you how to set your heart completely free to the truth. Most importantly, Fox leads us not merely to a process, but to God Himself; she writes:
“When you’ve experienced a loss so painful that it feels as though a part of you has been severed, it is your theology that tells you that your Savior also knows grief and sorrow. Your theology reminds you that the pains and horrors of this life are the result of the fall in the Garden and that the suffering we endure mattered so much to God that He did something about it. He entered this world, taking on the same frail flesh we wear, and endured more pain and sorrow than we could ever imagine. Your theology reminds you that He knows the pain you feel, for He too was cut off from whom He loved most when the Father turned His back on Him at the cross. The separation He endured as He bore the weight of our sins secured our redemption and freedom. And one day, He will return to end the world of sin and sorrow once and for all” (pg. 136).
This is a book that we highly recommend! You can purchase A Heart Set Free, by Christina Fox at Amazon here. To view other resources recommended by Hope Mommies, take a look at our resources page.
- Lianna
Hope Mom to Noelle
Lianna (@liannadavis) is wed to Tyler and mom of two dear daughters. She is author of Made for a Different Land: Eternal Hope for Baby Loss (Hope Mommies, 2019). More of her writing can be found at her website.
We would be honored to share your story as a Hope Mom on our blog. On Saturdays we feature Hope Moms’ stories in order to showcase God’s faithfulness even in the midst of such deep sorrow. If you would like to have your story shared on our blog for this purpose, learn more and submit here.
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