Anchored: Mourning with Hope

Over the next nine weeks on the blog, we will be following along with our fall Hope Groups as they go through Hope Mommies’ newly published Bible Study — Anchored.  For those of you who did not register for a group this year, this will be an opportunity to walk through the topics studied in our Hope Groups. For those of you who are currently participating in a Hope Group, our desire is for these posts to reinforce the lessons you are learning with your group.   Wherever you are in your journey through loss and grief, I pray that this series will encourage your heavy hearts, remind you of truth, and point you to the unrelenting, far-reaching Hope of Christ as we anchor ourselves in Him and His Word.

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Week 5: Mourning with Hope

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.”
-Matthew 5:4

When Jesus delivered His Sermon on the Mount, much of what He said seemed paradoxical, especially the Beatitudes.  How could the poor in spirit, the meek, and those who mourn be considered blessed? The word used in Matthew 5:4 for mourning denotes a severe grief that cannot be hidden. It was not uncommon for people experiencing this level of grief to wail, rip their clothing, put ashes on their body, and publicly displayed their pain.

As mothers to children that have gone before us, we are familiar with this deep grief and we can deeply question this truth. How are we blessed to be mourners? My sweet sisters, we are blessed because we are anchored in hope; hope for a future, hope for redemption, hope that we will be reunited with our children someday and the hope promised at the end of the verse: we will be comforted. The world does not offer this hope, so let us lean into God and fully trust on what He has to offer us.

The Bible references three types of grief or sorrow: sinful grief, natural grief, and godly sorrow. Sinful grief is not rooted in hope; it refuses to be comforted. It is the world’s response to tragedy, sin, and evil and typically leads to further sin: retaliation, self-hurt, pride, and much more. As children of God let us focus on the grief that God approves of: godly grief and natural grief.

Godly grief is what we experience when our eyes become opened to our sin. We begin to have a full sense of how we have fallen short and how much we need a savior. Godly grief is a blessing in that it produces true repentance and ultimately salvation.

“For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death.”
-2 Corinthians 7:10

When we experience the conversion from being of this world to becoming a child of God, we gain hope for a future. We can rest assured of what lies ahead of us from an eternal perspective: heaven and the God’s glory fully revealed to us. We can have peace, though it may hurt, with this life’s temporary grief because God has promised an eternity without pain.

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away. And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” Also he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”
-Revelation 21: 4-5

Natural grief arises from tragic circumstances. This can be illness, the loss of a job, the crumbling of a relationship, or the death of a friend or family member. It can bring actual physiological responses to even the strongest believers in Christ. Life is meaningful and when it is turned upside down or cut too short our natural response is to cry, express emotions, and question God.

Job is a wonderful example that God provided us. God allowed Satan to afflict Job and his family. Satan stripped Job of his wealth, health, and all his children. He tore his clothing, put ashes on his head, and publicly mourned. He also cried out to God, questioning His intentions and affirming his own righteousness. Job felt that he didn’t deserve the hand he had been dealt. I’m sure all of us can relate to those emotions.

God loves us enough to handle our emotions and questions, even when we are in the depths of sorrow. God understands how we feel. I have to remind myself when I feel the pull of anger that God watched His beloved Son suffer and die a terrible death in order to save me…and you. As I wrestle with questions of God’s purpose in our suffering, He gently reminds me that He is in control and I don’t have to know all the answers.

“I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted. ‘Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge?’ Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I did not know.”
-Job 42:2-3

God may not provide the answers to our questions of “why,” but there is beauty in the seeking. As we seek God more fully our relationship with Him grows.

We often find ourselves in the habit of not seeking God during our mountain-top moments. It is during those seasons, when our world is full of smiles and sunshine that we can miss out on the most meaningful things of life. We become self-reliant and our relationship with the Father becomes shallow. God uses our seasons of mourning to draw us closer to Him so that we can become reliant on Him and experience the fullness of His grace, love, and comfort. He also uses these circumstances to facilitate spiritual growth and a change in our perspective. Those that have experienced true sorrow can begin to fully appreciate the “Man of Sorrows” and how He cares for us (Isaiah 53:3).

“Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his wounds we are healed.”
-Isaiah 53:4-5

So, dear sisters, although it hurts, know that we are truly blessed. Let us hold tight to the hope that is offered in godly sorrow and natural grief. Through these things, we are offered life more abundantly, salvation, redemption, and a closer walk with our Savior.

For more posts in this series, click on the links below:
Anchored: Marked By Loss
Anchored: What About God?
Anchored: Wrestling with Fear
Anchored: Heaven

Megan Kelley is married to Jake and the mother to six babies. Her first child she lost to miscarriage in September of 2009. She then had two children, Hunter who is five years old and Preston who will be three very soon. After Preston, she lost her next two to miscarriage in March and August of 2014. A month later, she found out she was pregnant with her son, Thatcher, who was diagnosed with Edwards Syndrome. He went to his heavenly home shortly after he was born on April 17, 2015. She loves painting, gardening, cooking, reading, and playing with her kids at the park.