Asking Why: Did My Baby Die For a Reason?

Hope Mom, I know you are hurting. And when we hurt, we want to be comforted with reason and rationale–to know that our pain is not in vain. I do not know why your baby died or what God’s purposes are for the situation around their passing. You, no doubt have heard many answers, and I imagine most (if not all) of them are unhelpful. 

One of our wonderful blog writers, Lindsey Dennis, has written a gentle response based on Biblical truth to the question “Why did God allow my baby to die”. I encourage you to reflect on it before reading further. 

I want to continue Lindsey’s wisdom by addressing another situation: witnessing something good come out of our baby’s loss – maybe someone we know comes to faith, family members are reunited, we learn something new about our own health, etc. We might even conclude, for example, “my sister was saved after my baby died. That must be the reason.” 

While we might feel a tiny bit better knowing there is something bigger and more purposeful to our baby’s death, it doesn’t change the fact that our baby is still gone. And it makes us wonder about God – God, did you really have to bring me so much pain just so that this other good thing can happen? 

Beloved friend, your baby did not have to die for something else to happen. God can make anything happen in any way he wants (Col 1:17). Now, he can cause great things to happen out of sin and death. 

Take a moment to review the story of Joseph (Gen 37-50). Out of jealousy, Joseph’s brothers sinned greatly against him, eventually selling him as a slave for about $200. After a full chain of events, Joseph rises through the Egyptian ranks and manages to save the entire empire from famine, including his own brothers (Gen 50:20). God did not need Joseph’s brothers to sin against him for this widespread salvation to happen–God could have placed Joseph on the throne any way he wanted, or provided for the people in an instant. But, he shows us his great love–and power over sin–in Joseph’s biblical story. 

Yes, God can bring about beautiful outcomes from death and pain and sin. That is part of the glory we get to witness on this side of heaven. But He doesn’t need those terrible by-products of the fall of man to bring about His glory. He is inherently full of glory (Isa 6:3).

So, friend, may the power of faith help you rest in God’s mysterious purposes over your baby’s death  (Heb 11:1). When you do witness beauty arise from ashes, may you rejoice in your God who will restore all things in His time (Isa 61:1-11). 

– Kelly

Kelly is the Ministry Support Lead for Hope Mommies. She and her husband Dan live in Brenham, TX with their two earthside children, Annabelle and Eli (and lots of pets). Their firstborn, William, went to Heaven in July 2017. To balance out the fullness of life, Kelly enjoys gardening, yoga, and sipping on some matcha while reading historical fiction. She considers herself beyond privileged to share the amazing news of Jesus’ Hope to all who need it, and loves that William gets to be a part of that message.