Lauren’s Story

The date was July 7, 2015. A typical July day in Texas—sunny and hot. I was about four months pregnant with our firstborn daughter. We had just found out that she was a girl, and had named her Annie Ruth after my great-grandmother.

I was sitting on the couch about to have my quiet time when I received a phone call from my doctor. I was told over the phone that some of the sonograms taken at the Sneak-a-Peak place did not look quite right. She tried to encourage me that the machine may not have taken good quality photos, or perhaps the issue was operator error. These were perfectly logical explanations, but my husband and I both felt uneasy about the coming hours.

My doctor wanted me to see a high-risk specialist that day in order to get a more detailed look at our baby. I hung up, and called my husband to come home right away. When he got home, we clung to one another and cried. While we were in the exam room, the high-risk doctor did the sonogram and gave us the news that our daughter had two conditions that were not compatible with life.

Our baby was diagnosed with Anencephaly, which occurs when the skull has not fully developed, and Ectopia Cordis, which occurs when the heart grows outside of the chest wall. She gently encouraged us through our tears to carry the baby to term, but told us we had a choice to make.

We did not even need to discuss what our decision would be. We had already decided before we had married that, no matter what, we would carry our children to term. We just did not know that instead of bringing our daughter home, we would be carrying her to her grave.

At the next appointment, my OB legally had to give us the option to end the pregnancy. Her desire was to spare us the months of heavy heartache ahead of us. However, she fully supported our decision, and did not push us to end the pregnancy early. Fortunately, she understood our decision and jumped in feet first to walk us through each decision that we had to make.

We chose to give our daughter life for as long as the Lord would allow. We sought the Lord and pleaded with Him to heal her and to give her life after birth. We chose to celebrate her life here on earth while we had her with us. Psalm 118:17 says, “I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the LORD.” This was our prayer for Annie, that she would live and declare the Lord’s work. We did not know at the time how God would answer our prayers, but we knew without a doubt that her life was valued (Psalm 139). Her value was not determined by how she looked, or whether she would live after birth. Her value and worth as a human comes from God.

We clung to the truth of God’s Word, and prayed until we had no more words to pray. Romans 8:26 says, “Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.” When I could not utter one more word, the Holy Spirit interceded on my behalf. We knew that she had been formed in God’s image, and as an image bearer she was deserving of the best life we could give her. All we wanted her to know was God’s love and our love for her.

With each sonogram we had, we began to realize the Lord would answer our prayers in a much different way than what we envisioned. She was born on December 7, 2015. This was the same birthday of my great-grandmother that we had named her after. She lived for three beautiful hours before she closed her eyes here on earth and opened them in heaven. Her life was cherished and prayed for by so many that we knew, and we know we will see her again.

Recently, my husband and I were talking about Annie, and the question came up of whether we had done something wrong because of Annie’s conditions. Both of us were reminded of John 9 when Jesus heals the man that was born blind. Someone had asked Him if the man was blind because of someone that had sinned. He replied, “Neither this man nor his parents sinned, but that the works of God should be revealed in him.”

Annie’s valuable life brought glory to God, but in different ways than we had imagined. Each life, no matter how old or young is valuable, and the Lord desires that each life He places here on earth to bring glory to Him. We chose to carry Annie to full-term, and to let Him decide when her time on earth was to be done. We praise Him for her life and for the time we had with her.

Lauren received her bachelors degree in Religion from Liberty University and her Masters of Divinity from Southwestern Seminary. While at Southwestern, she met her husband Chad. They married in December 2014 and had their daughter Annie in December 2015. They now have a second daughter Eliana and are expecting their third child in September 2019. Lauren’s love and passion is caring for Eliana and running half marathons with her husband.

We would be honored to share your story as a Hope Mom on our blog. On Saturdays we feature Hope Moms’ stories in order to showcase God’s faithfulness even in the midst of such deep sorrow. If you would like to have your story shared on our blog for this purpose, learn more and submit here.