When Grief Leaves You Feeling Empty…

God’s Word speaks thoroughly and abundantly into every season of the heart. As we study His Word, we learn that within its pages are found the ultimate source of comfort and peace for the sufferer. In this series, we will seek to carefully and compassionately apply these ancient, scriptural truths to feelings and experiences that are common in grief.

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I was no stranger to the pain. I had experienced the loss of several children over the years, but the loss of my son, Thatcher, brought a depth of despair I had never known. I had spent months on my knees crying out to the LORD to allow me the privilege of keeping this child. I knew that my faith was being tested, and I knew with absolute certainty that God could heal him. He, the Almighty Creator, had the power to rewrite the genetic code of each cell, but that was not His plan for my son’s life—or mine. I walked out the hospital doors empty-handed. The grief that followed in the months to come proved to be my undoing. 

I felt completely isolated. Those closest to me couldn’t understand the depth of my sorrow. To be honest, I didn’t want them to, it was a burden too heavy for anyone to carry. I was confused and hurt. How could this have been my Father’s plan? Everything seemed to be flipped upside-down. But the undoing, the complete emptying of myself, the stripping away of all my previous notions on how He works was His plan for me. It forced me to dig deep into the Word and spend countless hours seeking Jesus. It was there, in my pain and weakness, that my faith became very real, and I understood that Jesus was enough for my broken soul. 

THE PROVISION

These moments of complete brokenness are when we can experience Jesus most clearly. The mountaintop experiences are great, but it is easy to fall into the trap of self-reliance and pride. Paul writes in 2 Corinthians of just such an experience. He had just come from a mountaintop experience, but then he began suffering. He describes pleading with Jesus three times to remove a thorn from his flesh (12:7, 8). We aren’t told exactly what this “thorn” was, but we do know that it caused him great distress. He was hurting, broken, and weak. Rather than remove the thorn from Paul, Jesus answered him, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9). The suffering Paul was enduring kept his pride in check and forced him to rely on the only true source of strength and comfort – Jesus.Paul didn’t need to be rid of the pain, he only needed Jesus and the grace He so freely offers. 

With this grace, we are promised life more abundantly—now and for eternity. Life, as we know it in the middle of grief, may seem shallow, but when we trust in and follow Jesus, He cultivates the fruits of the Spirit in us (Galatians 5:22-23) and we can have peace and joy despite our circumstances. Jesus also came to destroy the power of Satan and death. Even though our physical bodies have limitations, our spiritual bodies are promised life forever. 

“The thief (Satan) comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I (Jesus) came that they (believers) may have life and have more abundantly.” John 10:10

It is because of this grace that we have hope that the separation from our babies we are experiencing now is only temporary. One day, we will be reunited with them in heaven. 

Through our suffering, we are assured that Jesus’ power is made perfect. Our weakness (or circumstance) is a tangible reminder of how much we need the Savior. It not only serves a purpose for you and me, but for those around us. Jesus’ power is made perfect when we are at our weakest. When there is no human explanation for you to still be standing, when there is no logical reason for you to have peace or joy, your life serves as a beautiful testimony to the Lord’s power and goodness.

CHANGE IN PERSPECTIVE

Paul, after hearing this answer to his prayer, had a significant change in his perspective of the suffering he was enduring. 

“Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
–2 Corinthians 12:9b, 10

Paul welcomes the painful situation, not because he delights in the pain, but because he now better understands the purpose in it: to teach him humility and to glorify Jesus. Finding purpose in the midst suffering, especially the pain of losing a child, enables us to endure it. When we know the ultimate goal is growth, transformation, restoration, or salvation for ourselves (or someone else that is witness to our lives), and for the Lord to be glorified through it all, we can gladly withstand any hardship the Father allows in our lives.  

Do you find yourself feeling absolutely empty today? Has your world been so completely turned upside-down that you have lost all sense of direction and purpose? Please hear me, sweet sister, when I say your emptiness and despair is not without purpose. These days of isolation and sadness can ultimately be a blessing. You see, it is in the moments of your complete emptiness that you can truly discover that Jesus is enough. 

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Megan Kelley is married to Jake and the mother to seven babies. Her first child she lost to miscarriage in September of 2009. She then had two children, Hunter (7) and Preston (5). After Preston, she lost her next two to miscarriage in March and August of 2014. A month later, she found out she was pregnant with her son, Thatcher, who was diagnosed with Edwards Syndrome. He went to his heavenly home shortly after he was born on April 17, 2015. She was blessed with her latest addition, Abigail Quinn in July of 2017. She loves painting, gardening, cooking, reading, and playing with her kids at the park.

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