Sweet Reminders of Comfort

My dad passed away from cancer almost two years before my oldest was born. We decided that if we had a boy, his middle name would be Daniel, my dad’s first name. At the time, it was a sweet way to honor my dad. It didn’t take long to realize that just saying, “Owen Daniel,” would be a constant blessing and reminder of the man I miss so much.

A week after Thanksgiving in 2018, just a month shy of Owen’s sixth birthday, we received the devastating news that our baby’s heartbeat couldn’t be found. I was 29 weeks pregnant, and Owen and his three-year-old brother, Alec, had been beyond excited about their anticipated sibling. I was admitted shortly after we received the news, so we had to bring the boys to the hospital to tell them what happened.

Our pastor’s wife was among my girlfriends who were finding out in the haze of texts and calls. She and her husband came to our hospital room to cry and pray with us shortly before my boys arrived. They left as we were about to tell the boys what happened, and they asked what they could do. The only thing I could think to ask for was groceries, and our pastor promised to deliver them.

When my husband returned home that night with our heartbroken and confused boys, there was a bag on our porch with milk, bologna, bread, and a package of Danimals® yogurt drinks. My boys had never had drinkable yogurt, and it was a nice treat amidst the grief and confusion.

Over the next few days of saying goodbye to our baby boy, Max (another family name of course), and returning home with empty arms, we were covered in love and prayers from our friends and family. Our church arranged meals and snacks, family watched our boys so we could have some quiet time, and friends dropped by to just sit in the sadness with us. 

Finally, life had to move forward. We needed groceries, and it was time for me to do something “normal.” We were out of the Danimals®, and there was a strong request for more. And there I was, at our bulk grocer, buying the first case of what would become a new staple in our home. Around the second or third case, I remember laughing and thinking that I was going to give my pastor a hard time about getting my kids hooked on drinky yogurts. But then I realized that as silly as it sounds, the fact that my kids enjoy this treat is a constant blessing and reminder of the love poured out by God through our friends during our darkest days.

Just as I remember my dad by simply saying my son’s name, whenever I restock the dedicated shelf of our fridge with 36 more fruity drinks masquerading as healthy yogurt, I think about my pastor, a dear friend who performed a simple act of love and care when there was no solution to our problem. Of course, I often remember that same pastor’s beautiful words at Max’s funeral service, and I have pictures, gifts, and many other precious memories. But that simple, sweet gesture is a happy memory. It gives me a smile, just like saying, “Owen Daniel” gives me a smile.

Hope Mommy, there will be sad memories, powerful memories, painful memories, and even lost memories. But treasure the sweet memories. Remember the friends who made a difference in some small but lasting way, and let those memories make you smile for the blessings poured out on you in your hour of need.

“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”
-Galatians 6:2

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Leah lives in the Philadelphia suburbs with her husband and 2 boys, and they all miss their 4 babies in heaven. While currently self-employed as a copywriter, Leah has also recently been certified as a birth and bereavement doula, and will begin studying for her master’s in grief counseling this summer.

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