Theology Matters

Theology matters. As believers, we often hear that word and think it is only for pastors, seminary students, and Sunday school classes. But theology matters in every day life. Our understanding of God, His creation, and His plan matters in our day-to-day lives.

This has never been clearer to me than when my wife and I experienced our first miscarriage. As we worked through our sorrow, our theology was invaluable. It helped directed our grieving process and brought us great comfort in the midst of the pain. Here are three truths that helped us form a theological framework from which to view and respond to our loss.

THIS WAS A BABY, NOT JUST TISSUE

In our world today, especially considering the sobering amount of abortions performed on a daily basis, it is easy to see that our culture has greatly devalued the life in a woman’s womb. We call it tissue. We don’t consider it a real life. When someone informs us that they have had a miscarriage, we might feel bad for them, but it was just tissue, right? Wrong.

Psalms 139:13-16 tells us in a beautiful fashion that God created each of us in our mother’s womb. The miracle of life begins at conception. This passage reveals that God recognizes and values our personhood even in our mother’s womb. Because of this profound truth, when my wife and I found out we were pregnant, we celebrated our baby—a valuable life that was already in existence.

This truth also directed our grief when we found out that we miscarried. We mourned the loss of a baby. We cried. We were sad, and did not try to hide it from those around us. But we also celebrated the 14 wonderful weeks that God allowed us to carry our baby on this side of eternity. We shared this sorrowful news with our living children, letting them mourn and talk through how they were processing their heavy emotions.

We have been intentional to continue remembering our baby who has gone home ahead of us. We chose a name for him, framed his ultrasound picture, and talk about him often. Every year on his “Heaven Day” we celebrate by going out to get ice cream as a family. He was a real baby, made in the image of God just like the rest of us. We will always remember, celebrate, and mourn our baby. He was a person, not just tissue. 

THIS BABY IS WITH GOD

In 2 Samuel 12:23, David is speaking of the loss of his baby, who died as a result of his sin with Bathsheba. After the baby had passed, David cried out, “Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me.” David, known as the man after God’s own heart (Acts 13:22), was referring to heaven in this passage. David believed that he would see his baby again in heaven.

What great comfort for us, as parents who have lost a child. When we study this passage of Scripture in light of a biblical understanding of God’s love and compassion for children, we come to the belief that God has provided a way for babies who die in infancy to be with their Maker in heaven. I believe that my baby is with God, never having to know the pains of this sinful world. He is living in perfection for all eternity. I never once have to be worried about him, because he is in God’s loving and tender care, which is infinitely better than the care Ashlee and I could have ever given him. And, someday, “I will go to him.”

GOD DID NOT DESIRE FOR OUR BABY TO DIE

In Ezekiel 18:23, 32 we see that God does not desire that anyone should die. In fact, He doesn’t want even the wicked to die. “Have I any pleasure in the death of the wicked, declares the Lord GOD, and not rather that he should turn from his way and live? …For I have no pleasure in the death of anyone.” In this verse, the word “death” is referring to both physical and spiritual death—the death of the body and eternal separation from God. God mourns those who die. He feels our pain. I know that God was not pleased by the death of my child. This understanding kept us close to God; we knew God was sympathizing with us in our sorrow.

“In Him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of Him who works all things according to the counsel of His will.” Ephesians 1:11

Although it was not God’s desire for our baby to die, it was a part of His plan. However difficult to comprehend, both sides of this coin must be considered together if we are to accurately understand God. If we believe that death occurs outside of God’s sovereign plan, we strip Him of His power. If we believe death is His desire, we rob Him of compassion. When you marry these two concepts together, you will find a compassionate God who is acting in accordance with what is best for His glory and our eternal good. My baby’s death was part of God’s will and, in ways that are only fully known by Him, it brought forth the glory of His name.

As I have studied God’s Word and formed a biblical theology of loss and life, I have received great comfort. My theology has driven my response to our miscarriage, shown us how to mourn the loss of our baby, given us hope for the future, allowed us to feel God’s compassion in the midst of our loss, and infused our baby’s death with great purpose.

Theology Matters.

This post originally appeared on the Hope Mommies blog on August 12, 2014

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Jesse Schmidt is the Church Planter and Lead Pastor of Vertical Church Milwaukee. Jesse and his wife Ashlee have five children on earth and two little ones in heaven.

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