Strong Sister

by Kellye Tilford

Strong Sister,

I do not know where my words are [physically] finding you; curled up on a plaid couch with mix-matched pillows, or up at 3 a.m. with tear stained cheeks, clutching tightly your sacred memories. I do not know where my words are [emotionally] finding you; in pure anger at the hand dealt you & withdrawing from all of your norms, or desperately seeking & choosing joy as you rebuild your new norms. I do not know if my words find you tugging at the robe of King Jesus, begging Him to make sense of it all, or if you are running as far & fast away from faith, religion, the Gospel, as your weary legs can take you.

What I do know, courageous Sister, is that you are at the right spot. You are welcome here. You are wanteSd here. Please, join in & be here. As much as you need to speak her name aloud, others are also craving to say his name aloud. Please do not shy away. The hardest part, the part where you said hello & goodbye in one breath, that was the hard part… and look, look at you, courageous Sister, you trudged through that day & you are now here: still breathing, still moving, still being. Do not be alone in this.

Coming together to seek Hope, relate, & share gets to be the beautiful part in this story God is writing. The Hope Mommies 2015 Retreat is a unique opportunity to dive right in to this – into healing, into a community that understands you.

“I will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born, says the Lord.”

Isaiah 66:9

Your guttural cries on the bathroom floor, the way you envy the mom lugging around all six of her kids in the grocery store with anger in her voice, how you beat your fist against the steering wheel as you drive past the hospital where you last held your little love… all of that & everything in-between – that is welcome & not strange here.

“The pain that you are feeling cannot compare to the joy that is coming.”

Romans 8:18

The pain you feel, unfortunately, is not unknown amongst these women. The story of your baby is unique, though. How you revealed the pregnancy, how you kept it secret, the decor of the nursery, theme of the baby shower, how your husband responded, the name you chose, the name you didn’t get to choose because the gender is only known to God, how you stretched & grew, the birth plan you chalked up, the amount of hair your baby had… all so unique to him/her. All forever unique, profound, & gorgeous to you, every tiny [huge] detail.

“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.”

Psalm 139:13

I know, sweet Sister, that you have a different understanding & appreciation for this verse than most.

This retreat is a respite for your weary soul & aching heart. This retreat is a place to let walls fall down & let others lend hopeful hands to help rebuild, in the name of Jesus.  It’s true that your eyes will forever see the world differently – every holiday, every baby shower, & every worship song has a completely new meaning to you. Take hope! That doesn’t have to mean the new meaning is bitter. But, there can be a new meaning that rests wholly in the Truth that God is working in you, around you, & through you!

“For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.”

Philippians 1:6

Sister, I request that you consider joining us. Consider opening your heart to share your baby, to hear about the babies whom your sweet babe is dancing in Heaven with, to worship alongside others who, literally, can relate to the aching pains your heart beats with; to hear fellow Hope Mom, Erin Cushman share about how she turned the death of her baby girl, Gwendolyn, into a faucet that would reach the world, sharing the Hope of Christ.

And, let me add with a heap of sincerity … it isn’t just a weekend of heavy stories & hot tears. There is a lot of celebrating, laughter, & joy. Your baby is in the safest arms, the loveliest place with the best of company. And that, dear sister, is a lot to celebrate.  Jesus shows up in this place in the sweetest of ways & his peace flows throughout. You will be met there by strangers who become sisters. While this may seem uncomfortable at first, it will quickly be filled with a sense of unexplainable peace.

You are being prayed for. With worn knees, hands clenched tightly, tears streaming, I am praying that you come & join in on healing, hope, & love for you.

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

Jeremiah 29:11

Kellye Tilford is a seeker of Jesus, wife to Josh, Mama to Asher, & Hope Mommies’ Prayer Coordinator. She loves lasagna, rearranging her living room, Romans 8, & running trails. A heart eager for God’s Kingdom to come!