Preparing Your Heart for October 15

 The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.
John 1:5

We are just over a week away from October 15, National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. It’s a day set aside to remember our babies who have gone to their eternal home ahead of us.

This date has been burned into my calendar for ten years now. Ten years of October 15ths have come and gone since my first hope baby left this earth. Somehow, the day always seems to sneak up on me, even though I am reminded of it constantly in the weeks leading up to it. Some years I have felt guilty for not having planned something more significant to remember my babies in heaven, and some years I have been content to let October 15 pass by quietly, while simultaneously holding the heaviness of loss and hope of heaven in my heart.

Maybe this year, October 15 is screaming at you. This is not fair! Parents should not have to outlive their children! How could one national day of remembrance even begin to address the immense grief you carry? It seems only to rub salt into the wound when every day for the rest of your life has been altered because of this great sorrow.

Perhaps October 15 feels more like a familiar face in a crowd. You nod at one another as you pass by in the street, but don’t stop to talk. There’s recognition between you, but that’s as far as it goes. You don’t make special plans or change your routine. The day continues as did all the days before it. Your attention is drawn more often to reflect on your loss, but it is more of a private pondering than a public declaration.

Maybe this year you will light a candle, release a balloon, or post on social media in remembrance of your hope baby(ies). You are grateful for the increased awareness this day brings to the significance of your loss and the losses of countless other mothers who have had to walk this same road.

There isn’t a prescribed right way to observe October 15. Whether you decide to participate in intentional moments of reflection and remembrance or let this day blend in with all the rest, the point is that you get to choose. You may establish a rhythm of tradition, change things up every year, or plan nothing at all. It’s up to you. Love remains.

Through it all, ask the Lord for guidance. How can you dig even deeper into the hope that has been bought for you with His precious blood? Is there another grieving momma you can reach out to and encourage? Someone who needs the reminder that she is not alone? How do your plans for this day help others to remember well and hold onto hope?

Hope Mommies is here to walk with you in your remembering. We want to come alongside you in your grief, your healing, your hope. We have compiled a variety of resources to help you as you decide what your October 15 will look like. There are customizable social media graphics available for you to post, a downloadable coloring page, a Spotify playlist, and a devotional bundle to help you plan your day or encourage another Hope Mom.

Hope Parents, along with their families and friends, are invited to join together in a Wave of Light to raise awareness for miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant loss; and to remember and honor the lives of their precious Hope Babies. To participate, light a candle on Tuesday, October 15th at 7pm in your time zone, snap a picture, post it to your socials using #hopemommiesoct15, and take comfort in knowing you aren’t alone.

During the Wave of Light, we are also offering a special time of remembrance with speaking from Jennie Parks and worship from High Desert Church, in partnership with Kingdom One. For more details of how to tune in to this special event, visit hopemommies.org/october-pail-month. There will also be a link on our YouTube channel on the day of the event.

However you choose to remember on October 15, we pray that the Lord would remind you of His tender care for you in the midst of it all. He sees you, loves you, and grieves with you. He invites you to draw near, find comfort, and rest in Him. As you turn to Him in the midst of your sorrow, you faith shines a light in the darkness, pointing others to the hope you have found. Let’s shine together as we remember.