Pray For One Another: Her Story

“Our prayers may be awkward. Our attempts may be feeble.
But since the power of prayer is in the one who hears it and
not in the one who says it, our prayers do make a difference.”
– Max Lucado

I’ve always thought of my husband as having a heart of gold. He is my best friend, my soulmate, and the one who always seems to make things right. I could listen to him read Scripture and encouraging words all day if I could. My sweet man has a way with words and I am loved so well by him.

When we fell in love and knew we wanted to get married, we both agreed that premarital counseling was the best first step. Our spiritual walks were at an all time high. God was working in our lives. We had found each other and that was the greatest gift we could have received. We thanked God daily for our love and the plans that He had for our future. In our hearts desire were children. Once we married, we prayed diligently for God to reveal the perfect timing for us to start our family, and both felt that waiting one year would be best.

We were thrilled at the quick answer to our prayer in giving us our child. God had moved quickly. We were ecstatic at the thought of having a precious little babe in our arms and home. Our prayers were consistently of thankfulness and gratitude. What else could we ask of Him? He was evidently moving and life was good. Our pregnancy was going great. With every week that Corbin had life we prayed and gave our good Lord thanks. We knew that the gift of life was sacred and it was an honor to carry him. But in what felt like a blink of an eye, that “perfect life” we knew had changed.

Our precious Corbin Noah Alvarez was scheduled to arrive on July 27, 2014. However, in March I began to bleed and we rushed to the hospital quickly. We were in fear for his life without knowing what was happening. My husband was quick to try and keep me calm and remind me that God was in control of this situation. After we finally arrived at the hospital, it was discovered that I had an incompetent cervix and our beloved son would be delivered early without the placement of an emergency cerclage.

After the emergency cerclage was placed I was ordered to remain on strict bedrest. I watched my husband humbly serve me without end. He bathed me, helped me dress, put my shoes on, encouraged me, loved me, and made sure I was very well taken care of. We fervently prayed during this time of uncertainty for our son’s life. I remember Conrad reading me Scripture while I was on bed rest. Day after day as I lay on our couch, I prayed for God to give Conrad the strength to continue leading our family during this time.

Although we prayed and cried out to God to save Corbin’s life, I delivered him on March 27, 2014 at 22 weeks and 4 days. We were both devastated and in shock. How could this happen to us? We honored God with our faithful prayers and praise. Why would He do this? Didn’t He love us? These questions raced through our grief stricken minds after we lost our Corbin. We didn’t know that child loss could happen after the first trimester. Everyone I knew had normal pregnancies so we didn’t think any of this could happen to us.

For the first few days and weeks after we lost Corbin, I knew I needed to pray, but suddenly I felt forsaken and alone. I cried and sat in silence quite often. Sometimes words wouldn’t come out, but I knew my God and I was confident that He knew exactly what was in my heart. I remember specifically praying for my husband. I knew that men often handIe grief and a loss differently than women do. I did not want the loss of our son to strain our marriage and the relationship that we had. I prayed for his heart, for peace and comfort, and most importantly for him not to loose his faith in God.

Losing our son has been the most difficult journey in our marriage. It shook us down to our core. I saw a different side of my husband, who although being my best friend, was also hurting for this beloved baby who did not get to come home with us. As a wife, I wanted to nurture him and let him know how deeply I loved him. When days were hard and I didn’t know how to show him my love, I prayed for him to be completely covered in His love and peace, and I prayed that my husband would know my love for him during those moments of sadness.

It has been three years since we lost our son, Corbin. We share memories of him together, and we talk often about him. We enjoy remembering his features and talking about what he might have been like. I am thankful that my husband encourages me to grieve freely as I do for him. We know that Corbin’s life had a purposed and it has produced much fruit in us. Our priorities as husband and wife and parents have changed. We love so much more deeply and strongly; I didn’t believe that was possible. We have seen God use Corbin’s life for good and bear fruit to further His kingdom.

I believe that prayer is powerful. When our hearts and spirits are broken, the Holy Spirit intervenes for us. Our husbands desperately need to be covered in prayer. As the leaders of our homes, we ought to pray that they would have the strength they require to lead us well through our brokenness and sadness.

We are called to comfort as God comforts us. Our partners also need comfort despite their grief looking different than ours. Our Father in heaven hears and meets our deepest needs. It is a heavy cross to bear, however, we can endure with God as our stronghold. And as we pray for one another through grief, our marriages can become even stronger. For a “cord of three strands is not easily broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:12).

My name is Nelly Alvarez. I have been blessed to be joined in holy matrimony to my best friend and partner for life. We have three children which includes our hope baby, Corbin Noah.

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