Parenting New Blessings

Each child gone ahead from among us is a precious person made in the image of God—and all having been made into Hope Moms, we together declare motherhood in each of our journeys. Through this series, we honor each other’s experiences of motherhood in love through our shared God of hope.

---

Our New Blessing baby girl was born 17 months after her older sister, our Hope Baby, went home to Jesus. During my pregnancy with her and in these first six months of her life, I have dealt with a wide range of emotions—fear, guilt, grief, joy, and gratitude. Perhaps you are also expecting a New Blessing or already have him or her in your arms. I want you to know you are not alone in your experience. Let me share with you how God has encouraged my heart through her life.

Throughout pregnancy, delivery, and the first few weeks at home, I battled a lot of fear—fear of losing the pregnancy, fear that something would be wrong with our baby, fear that something would go wrong once she was in our arms. I had to continually give my fears over to God rather than give in to them. I had to make the conscious decision to not open the door when fear knocked.  

As I learned to exercise my muscles of faith and trust, fear often took a back seat, but I was always aware of its presence. It would have been so easy if God had completely taken the fear away. Instead, I had to choose over and over not to listen to my fear, but to trust in the goodness and faithfulness of God no matter what happened.  2 Timothy 1:7 was a source of continuous comfort for me: “For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”  

Guilt was an emotion that took me by surprise. As I hold and get to know our new girl day by day, I find that my memories of my Hope Baby are fading. I feel guilty that I am forgetting how she felt snuggled in my arms or what she looked and smelled like. I feel guilty that the memories of her seem to be replaced by the newness of her little sister. And this guilt leads to a new sadness and grief—my new baby is a constant reminder of all I am missing out on when our Hope Baby went home.

In one corner of our living room, we have a bookcase with pictures and items that remind us of our Hope Baby. We have her pictures hanging on the wall. This year, we put up a small Christmas tree in her corner and decorated it with ornaments that remind us of her and the short time we had with her. This corner is directly across from my recliner where I sit and nurse my baby girl. When guilt and grief come over me, I look up at the tangible reminders of our sweet girl and try to give myself some grace. 

Our New Blessing baby is not a replacement, but rather a precious gift from God who can continually remind us of her sweet sister and deepen the hope and anticipation we have of seeing her again one day. I am often reminded of a verse we have hanging on our wall, “I have no greater joy that to hear that my children are walking in the truth” (3 John 1:4). When the feelings of guilt and grief come over me in the midst of the joy of my new baby, I remind myself that our Hope Baby is walking with the One who is truth, and I can choose joy.

As it turns out, “Joy” is the middle name of our New Blessing baby. Months before she was conceived, God gave us a first name for her that means “answer to a prayer.”  As we were tossing around middle names, there was a verse that immediately came to mind: “Weeping may tarry for the night but joy comes with the morning” (Psalm 30:5b).

Immediately, I knew that if God were to bless us with another baby after our loss that she would be a great source of joy in our lives after our “night” of weeping. And she is living up to her name. Every time she smiles and laughs, it is a sweet reminder of the hope and joy that are found in Christ.

That fills my heart with gratitude to God for this sweet blessing. He did not have to fill our arms again with a baby. Healing from the loss of her sister was not dependent on having her in our lives. But God, in His infinite love and wisdom, blessed us with her. Our loss did not deem us more deserving. God Himself is enough for my broken heart. Yet, our New Blessing baby has come to us with so much joy that I am filled to overflowing with gratitude for God’s tender love and kindness to fill my empty arms with another sweet baby.

Dear mama with a New Blessing, I pray that any burden of fear or guilt will be lifted from your shoulders. May any fresh grief that springs up be met with the tender love and comfort of Christ. I pray that you would find renewed joy and the healing touch of gratitude in your newest little love, and may this joy and gratitude turn your heart toward the hope of one day holding your Hope Baby once again in your arms.

---

Abigail is mama to her toddler daughter and to Sarabeth who went to be with Jesus seven days after her birth in January 2018. She and her husband, Chad, live in Berea, KY on the family farm where they raise cattle. In addition to being a stay-at-home-mom and teaching piano part-time, Abigail blogs on Facebook and Instagram at A Healing Gratitude where her desire is to share Sarabeth’s story in a way that highlights the goodness and love of God and demonstrate how gratitude can lead to greater healing.

---

---