Night of Worship with Caroline Cobb
When you suffer grief as deep and wide as the loss of your very loved and wanted baby, life can feel so unsafe. When my own daughter was stillborn at 22 weeks and five days, I wasn’t sure if I was ever going to be okay again. It was all too heavy—the weight of my empty arms, the ache in my heart. Nothing felt secure. Everything seemed as if it were sand that could slip through the fingers of my clenched fists. My prayers were often, “Lord, I don’t know how to go on. I need you. Help me.” Did you have simple prayers like this, too?
This kind of prayer reminds me of King Jehoshaphat from the Old Testament story found in 2 Chronicles 20. When Jehoshaphat heard that his kingdom was under attack and surrounded by enemies, he called for all of Judah to fast, and he prayed, “We don’t know what to do, but our eyes are on You.” His army of men did not have the size or power to defeat what was coming their way in their own strength. He told his men to, “Have faith in the Lord your God and you will be upheld.” Then he appointed men “to sing to the Lord and to praise Him for the splendor of His holiness as they went out at the head of the army, saying: ‘Give thanks to the Lord, for His love endures forever.’”
Did you catch that, friends? He told them to praise. That was the weapon that ultimately defeated an extremely vast army. Praise. And praise can be our weapon too!
On this side of heaven, in the wake of devastating loss, it can seem like there is battle all around us. It can be hard to let people into our grief, to attend baby showers and kid birthday parties, to remember to eat dinner or brush our teeth. We are weak and so fragile, and we must daily lean on Him for the strength that only He can provide.
There is such tension in this fallen world with no escaping the pains of grief. What we are longing for is not yet. What we hope for is unseen. The only way through this grief is, well, through it. There is no easy fix or way out. But there is such grace in all of it. God bends low to us in our grief and comforts us with a peace that transcends understanding. He brings healing. He offers rest. He provides community. This grief is too much to bear alone.
God is near to us and He gives us what we need through His word and His people—our families, friends, His church, and the community we have built here at Hope Mommies. We must praise Him even in the barrenness and brokenness of this life; for He deserves all praise and glory for what is, and what isn’t, because He holds it all.
Your sweet one is alive and wanting for nothing right now! You need to know this, dear reader. This is a joyous and beautiful truth. Cling to it on the days that are hard. Praise Him that your baby received ultimate healing in heaven, even though it hurts that healing didn’t happen this side of the veil. Praise Him that your baby got His absolute best from the start. Praise Him for the treasure of His gospel. Praise Him for opening your eyes to the holy groaning, anticipation, and longing for the future restoration that is to come. Praise Him for the not yet. Praise Him for the relationship you are forging with Him in the waiting. Praise Him for the sin you have been set free from and the life awaiting you in heaven. Praise Him for giving you His Holy Spirit now, which enables you to press on in this life and live for His glory. Praise Him for whatever you can and need to mama, just choose to let praise be your weapon of choice.
In honor of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month we will be holding an Online Night of Worship with Caroline Cobb, via zoom, on Sunday, October 11 at 7:00pm Central Time. We’d love to have you join us for a time, set-apart, to PRAISE and WORSHIP the God we love—the God who holds our children until we can again. To join in this one-night only event, please pre-register here.
- Jennie
Hope Mom to Paige Marie
Jennie and her husband, Brian, live in Washington State and have four precious children together— Trenton who is 13, Paige who has been in Heaven with Jesus since August 2, 2010, Mason who is 8, and Cora Jane who is 2. If you were to knock on her front door today, you’d find her in jeans and a t-shirt drinking a hot cup of tea (and she’d offer you one too!) while trying to figure out how to balance all the things that make up a life – like spending time in God’s word, tending to her home, pruning her roses, serving with Hope Mommies, and online schooling with the kids! She adores being a new creation in Christ and prays she reflects Him well on this earth.
Got something to say?