Megan’s Story
My husband and I were married in June of 2012. We were very excited to learn in July that we were pregnant so shortly after getting married. We had a few scares at the beginning of the pregnancy, but at my 13 week appointment we heard the heartbeat and the doctor confirmed that everything was going well. Our excitement grew each day as we started to prepare to become first time parents.
A few weeks later, in late September, I traveled out of town to visit my parents while my husband was away for work. On a beautiful Sunday afternoon, I went to use the restroom shortly after lunch. I was planning on going shopping with my mom and sister, but instead, there I delivered my beautiful baby boy, without any pain or any warning. I was 16 weeks pregnant at the time.
My family rushed me to the emergency room. My baby was weighed and we were allowed to hold him. I studied his perfectly formed 2 ounce body that had been made in God’s image. You could tell already that he looked like his daddy. I held my baby boy for over 12 hours while I waited for my husband to arrive. While waiting, I could hear other babies being born in the rooms next to me. I longed for my own baby to be with me.
The next few months after our loss were some of the hardest in our lives. But, we held onto Scripture and the hope that can only be found in Jesus Christ.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
Philippians 4:8
Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope. Romans 5:3-4
During this time, we decided that should we ever be blessed with a daughter we would name her Hope. Amazingly, fifteen months after our loss, we found out we were expecting again. We were very excited, but very nervous because we never received a diagnosis for why our son was born so early. I had a suspicion that I had cervical insufficiency, but the doctors said there was no way of proving that until it happened again.
One weekend in May, when I was 22 weeks, I had “mother’s intuition” that something was wrong, even though I had very few warning signs. Our anatomy scan was scheduled for Monday, but for a piece of mind my husband and I choose to go into the ER on Sunday anyway. It was confirmed that I was 2-3 centimeters dilated and that my waters were already funneling through my cervix. My concerns were verified. I did have an insufficient cervix. The doctor told us that we were going to have another pregnancy loss. Right then and there my husband and I began to pray. We knew that God was the only one who was going to get us through this again. But, where there is a heartbeat there is hope! This time, our baby was still alive, and we would not give up on her.
Miraculously, I lasted another week on bedrest with my water broken, and our daughter was born at 23 weeks weighing just over a pound. We did indeed name her Hope. Many times during our NICU journey the nurses would comment on our strength and happiness. It only came from the Lord. I would always tell them that my husband and I knew what it was like to leave the hospital with empty arms. As long as our daughter’s heart was beating we had the possibility to take her home. And for that, every day we rejoiced.
The NICU road was tough, but we were able to bring her home the week of her due date after a four month NICU stay. We do indeed serve a redeeming God.
Through these experiences, my husband and I turned to Christ. Without Him, we do not know how we would have made it through. Every day, I see the gospel displayed through my baby boy’s death. Romans 6:23 states “For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” And Romans 3:23 states “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Because we all are sinners, we all will face death one day. It just comes at different times for different people. But we also have hope in believing that through Christ our son will spend eternity in heaven.
Every day, our hearts hurt that we are not able to be earthly parents to our son. But, he’s in a better place and we have hope knowing that we will see him again one day. We are very blessed that God gave us our daughter, and we will make sure that she knows how much we love her and her big brother. We also will try our best to raise her according to God’s Word so that she will know and prayerfully follow Christ.
It is our hope that our story will point others to Christ. Because of Adam and Eve’s sin, we all are born sinners and face the effects of the curse during this life. God never promised to exempt His people from the curse of sin. But, He does promise to carry us through. We definitely have felt Him carrying us through these several years. May you all find truth in the God of the Bible and redemption from your sins. Through Christ there indeed is hope!
- Megan
Hope Mom to Grayson
Megan is a part-time CPA, a wife to Frank, and a mommy to her miracle daughter Hope and son Grayson, who is in Heaven with Jesus. She loves online scrapbooking, spending time with family, and spreading awareness for prematurity and infant loss.
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