Hope Group Testimony {Amanda’s Experience}

When I found out I was pregnant with Harrison in November 2016, I was ecstatic. I wanted nothing more than to be a mommy. The instant I found out, I started envisioning what our sweet baby would be like, who they would look like, what their personality would be like. I couldn’t wait to find out if we were having a boy or girl so I could start planning the nursery, the place I’d get to bring our baby home to. But that’s not what happened.

Mother’s Day, May 14, 2017. Harrison’s Birthday. I had envisioned that weekend to be completely different. My first Mother’s Day. A day to celebrate that I was now a momma. Instead, we said hello and goodbye to our sweet boy on that day.

I was in complete shock that something like this could even happen to us, but I knew the best thing I could do during this time was seek to biblical truth. I constantly questioned the Lord, asking why it had to happen to us. Why did our healthy boy only live on earth long enough for us to fall head over heels in love with him before being ripped from our arms? Why didn’t He take me instead of Harrison?

But there is always more to the story than just pain. In the midst of our heartbreak, the Lord showed up and was faithful to us, even in the hardest of times. Following the days of losing Harrison, I would see the word “hope” everywhere—in Scripture, displayed in coffee shops or grocery stores I walked in, within encouraging words from friends. It was a beautiful reminder that by choosing hope, I was choosing to set my heart and mind on Christ!

“We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.”
Hebrews 6:19 (NIV)

I clung to this verse during this time. A couple weeks after losing Harrison, I received a Hope Box in the mail. A sweet friend of mine sent it to me. There it was again: hope. That is when I first learned about Hope Mommies. I immediately started perusing the website. I was encouraged by everything I read. It was such a relief knowing I wasn’t alone in this journey. I joined the online communities. I needed to surround myself with women who understood my pain, could encourage me, and would remind me that we serve a faithful God.

In the Fall, I signed up for an online Hope Group. We went through Anchored. I am a pretty outgoing person, but I was terrified! I wasn’t sure what I was thinking. It was completely out of my comfort zone to join a group of ladies and talk about my feelings, especially about losing Harrison. But I knew God wanted me to do this. So, I went for it. What could I lose? I wanted the connection and community with women that understood what I was going through—who I could be real with—and God knew that I would find that within the Hope Group.

My Hope Group was a huge blessing! It has helped tremendously in my healing process. I instantly felt connected to each and every one of the women in my Hope Group. It was a safe and encouraging environment where I felt safe to express my true feelings. Grief is a crazy roller coaster, and it can be overwhelming at times. These women understood where I was at, and I didn’t have to edit my feelings to pretend like things were alright. We were real with each other. We encouraged each other, prayed for each other, discussed some really hard topics, and leaned into the truths of God’s character.

The women in my group have been amazing even to this day! They get me, and I am blessed by each one of their friendships. I am signing up for Identity this Spring and I’m beyond excited to see what God has in store for me through that study. Although I never asked to be on this journey, I know I do not have to do it alone. We serve a God who is good, merciful, strong, and always faithful. And I am one day closer to seeing my sweet boy again! I’ve prayed over and over and asked the Lord to use me and my story. I believe this is just the beginning.

I am a stay-at-home wife and Momma. My husband, Aaron, and I have been married for 4 years and live outside Seattle, WA. We have two children, Harrison, is who waiting for us in Heaven, and Lenora, our blessing here on Earth. I love Jesus, my wonderful husband, our sweet babies, coffee, crafting, hiking/being outside, the Seattle rain, and spending time with our family.

Registration for our Spring Hope Groups is open through the end of January!  

Don’t miss out on this opportunity to connect with other women, share your story, and experience the hope of Christ!  Hope Groups will run from the week of March 17 through the week of May 19.

To learn more and register for a group follow THIS LINK

Have you been a part of a Hope Group? Submit your testimony to Hope Mommies’ blog!