Guarding Our Hearts in Grief

A few weeks ago, my husband and I sat down on the couch together to rest after a long day. Just moments after our backs hit the cushions, we heard the sound of heavy footsteps overhead. Assuming that one of our children was out of bed when they shouldn’t be, I walked upstairs to assess the situation, only to find them all sleeping heavily.

The footsteps continued, and we soon realized that an unwelcome group of visitors must have made their way into our attic while we were away earlier that afternoon. After a quick check around the house, we discovered that our garage door had been scratched away at from the inside, and our dumpster had been thoroughly rummaged through. Raccoons.

We had not invited the raccoons in to explore our home, but by leaving the garage door open, especially when we had smoked 35 pounds of pork in our backyard earlier that day, we had created a tantalizing environment for the critters that lived in the woods across the street. While we did not request for them to move in, our lack of vigilance encouraged the intrusion.

So it is with our hearts.

Your heart is an organ of central importance to both your physical and spiritual life. Billions of dollars have been invested to increase our scientific understanding of the human heart. Countless books have been written in an attempt to interpret and explain its emotional inner workings. In the Bible, we are warned to diligently protect our heart, because from it flows the very source of life (Proverbs 4:23).

“Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness.”
Ephesians 6:14

In battle, the primary purpose of the breastplate was to guard the heart. When facing the enemy, wearing a breastplate could truly be the difference between life and death. Oftentimes in war, the soldier would also wear a coat of mail under his breastplate for extra protection, knowing that a blow to the heart could result in a swift end.

You and I may not be marching into battle in the traditional sense, but we are at war, and our enemy’s objective is our hearts. Although we don’t willingly open the door of our hearts to Satan’s attack (just as I didn’t open our garage door to invite the raccoons in), when we let down our guard, growing inattentive to the condition of our hearts, it’s like leaving the key on the doormat. The enemy will not pass up an opportunity to push his way into our pain and experiences in order to wage his war against us.

As mothers who have said goodbye to our precious babies on this side of eternity, we must be especially on our guard, for a heart that has been broken by grief is an alluring target.

When someone offers up a thoughtless platitude towards you in your grief, Satan will attempt to sow seeds of bitterness in your heart against them. When someone close to you minimizes your loss or forgets an important date pertaining to your Hope Baby(ies), the enemy will try to stir up feelings of anger towards them. On the days when it feels like everything is out of your control, your adversary will tempt to doubt God’s plan and His care for you. When waves of emotion crash all around you, and you don’t know how you will make it another day, the Devil will try to lead you to despair, forsaking the Lord.

In order to effectively guard our hearts against the enemy, we must put on the breastplate of righteousness. To be righteous is to walk in a manner worthy of our calling (Ephesians 4:1). It is knowing the truth of God’s Word and aligning our thoughts, attitudes, and actions to it. But all too often, instead of putting on the breastplate that God has provided us with, we don the tattered, rusty breastplate of our own righteousness—which amounts to nothing more than a pile of filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6). You and I have no righteousness of our own to offer up for our protection, although our adversary often tempts us to defend ourselves on our merit alone rather than relying on the Lord—a pursuit that will always end in our defeat.

When you trust Jesus as your Savior, you are given the gift of God’s own righteousness. His righteousness becomes yours—you are covered and defined by it. Your heart’s protection has been determined and sealed by the finished work of Christ; it is not dependent upon your own effort or achievement.

The protection that comes from God’s righteousness fortifies our hearts against bitterness and anger. It’s what enables us to choose the path of forgiveness when we have been hurt or wronged. It’s what draws us into joyful surrender to the Lord and His ways, even when the grief is heavy and the pain is deep.

Putting on the breastplate of His righteousness happens when we, through His Spirit, cast aside the works of darkness and put on the armor of light (Romans 13:12). It is renouncing ungodliness and worldly passions, and living self-controlled, upright, and godly lives through His sanctifying power at work in us (Titus 2:12). It is moment by moment, day after day, choosing to live as unto the Lord.

Sweet momma, will you pick up your armor today? God has so graciously supplied you with everything you require for life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3) even in the midst of your grief. Through Christ, you have been covered by the righteousness of our almighty God. Gird yourself in battle with the truth of His Word, and then build your life—your thoughts, attitudes, and actions—upon that foundation. And when your heart is being guarded by God’s impenetrable, unfailing righteousness, the enemy will not be able to defeat you.

- Ashlee

Hope Mom to Simeon and Odelle

Ashlee is the Editorial Coordinator for Hope Mommies and author of their I AM, Identity, and Sojourn Bible studies. She and her husband, Jesse, live in Milwaukee with their children—five on earth and two in heaven.