God is Faithful in the “No”

Head hung low, I left our anatomy scan appointment stunned and heartbroken. Expecting to discover if our little one was a boy or a girl, we instead learned our baby was gone. Two weeks prior there was the sound of a flourishing heartbeat, but that day, silence.

I would be admitted to the hospital and induced in a little over forty-eight hours. While I knew with every ounce of my logical being that my baby was lifeless on that monitor, I began to pray for the miracle. I began to pray life over our little one. I petitioned the Father with every ounce of my being that this was some mistake—that the beat of my child’s heart would resume in my womb.

I thought I would be the one doctors would be talking about for years to come. I was certain I would be that woman who experienced a modern day miracle as my Lazarus was raised from death to life.

I spent those forty-eight hours asking the Lord for the desire of my heart and praying that my desire lined up with His will.

At 12:24am, on April 4, 2015, I ask my attending nurse, Priscilla, to please check my baby one more time. Moving forward with the induction medication was not an option until one last ultrasound was completed. My miracle was coming; I just knew it.

Yet, once again the doppler was silent.

Tears burst from my eyes. Priscilla asked if I was ready to continue. Of course I was not, but I did not have a choice.

I prayed for the miracle, and God replied with a “no.”

The months that followed my son’s birth and burial were messy and complicated and sorrow-filled. There was hope, but there was a lot of pain. The Holy Spirit convicted me that in order to understand this heartbreaking “no” I had to revisit God’s Word and remind myself of the truth of His ways and His character.

Psalm 33:4 says that all of God’s work is done in faithfulness. All of God’s work, not just some of His work. It is important that we understand that God doesn’t only make some decisions for His glory. God always moves on behalf of His glory, but that does not mean He will answer my every prayer as I want or expect. Only He can see the bigger picture. Only He can see how a “no” could work together for His good and for the growth of His kingdom.

It is here that I think of Jesus, Himself. When faced with the overwhelm of giving His life on the cross, Jesus begged His Father, “Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what You will” (Mark 14:36).

God replied to His own son with a “no.”

Because of this historical “No,” Jesus breathed His last breath on that cross. But that is not where our story ends. Instead, it is where hope begins. Jesus died on that cross, rose again, and made it possible for us to be in union with the Father and live with Him forever. The cross proves and ushers in the hope that there is nothing our Father won’t endure in order for His faithfulness to prevail.

What a beautiful gift wrapped up in a painful, earthly, “No.”

It is here that I can find joy in the “No’s” of my lifetime. I can find hope and joy and peace knowing that my Father is always working behind the scenes for my good, even when my requests are denied and the doppler is silent.

“Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior.”
Habakkuk 3:17-18

Over time, the Spirit gently reminded me that while I asked God to speak life over my baby, and God said no to life on Earth, His no was a resounding yes to life eternally.

Oh how this changed my point of view.

God’s “no” was really a “YES!”

Sometimes “no” is really an overwhelming “yes” in God’s Kingdom. This shift in perspective comes from viewing our circumstances and God’s answer through the lens of eternity—seeing the beautiful tapestry that He is gently weaving together so purposefully and delicately on our behalf.

He gave me my answered prayer, the answer was just different than I expected or imagined.

God is faithful in every season of our lives, dear sisters. We can walk forward in trust and we can hold onto hope, even in the “no,” because Hebrews 10:23 assures us that “He who is promised is faithful.” A “no” does not negate His faithfulness. What a gift. What a blessing. What a promise!

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Brittnie lives in Sugar Land, Texas and enjoys writing on her blog and other outlets, baking, lingering coffee dates, and soaking in moments with her family. She is a wife to Brandon and a mom to Clara, Camille, and Hope Mom to Baby A (Clara’s twin) and Chance. Psalm 62:1-2 is her go to verse when she needs quick encouragement. She is author of Desert Song, and you can visit with Brittnie at her personal blog, A Joy Renewed, where she shares her faith and family, and encourages her readers to claim joy despite circumstance.

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