From Self-Protection to Divine Keeping

When William passed into glory, I felt very confused about the Lord and my relationship with Him. I had many questions in my soul.  Who was this God who had the power to deliver a multitude from sure annihilation (Ex 14), yet didn’t heal a tiny baby? Could I trust Him? My initial conclusion for quite some time was: I think not. 

Although I continued to press into His word with the company of my Hope Group and fellow local Hope Moms, my heart remained closed to any sort of intimacy with Him and trust of Him to do the right thing for me going forward. For a time, I decided to lean on my own understanding, protect my heart, and make my own way.

God’s Response to Our Self-Protection
This posture of self-reliance is ages old. Even the ancient multitude referenced above–who witnessed some of the greatest miracles history has ever known–only made it three days before they fell into repeated patterns of distrust and autonomy the moment God did not act according to their will and wishes (Ex 15:22-24; Ex 32). 

The problem with our resolve to make life happen on our terms is that we won’t get very far. We may still be breathing (and even that feels impossible many days), but our souls flounder when disconnected from our God.  

Yet, thankfully, God doesn’t give us the independence we think we want. He remains generous, merciful, and present. He understands we don’t have the full picture, that we are just dust trying to live in a very, very broken world (Ps 103:14). Sprinkled throughout Scripture, He gives us glimpses of what He is doing behind the scenes, proving His nature hasn’t changed no matter what our circumstances look like. Our job is to trust His character, and not those circumstances. 

One of these glimpses is found in Psalm 121. On the surface this psalm seems to promote a sense of peace and images of refuge, like a painting of an English cottage nestled into a serene forest. Yet, a closer look at the Hebrew and the historical setting actually reveal a much more harrowing, desperate, life-or-death context. We also see our God willingly enter the dangerous scene to take responsibility for our well-being. 

Psalm 121

1I lift up my eyes to the mountains— where does my help come from?
2My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.
3He will not let your foot slip— he who watches over you will not slumber;
4indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.
5The LORD watches over you— the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
6the sun will not harm you by day,  nor the moon by night.
7The LORD will keep you from all harm—he will watch over your life;
8the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.

Psalm 121 is known as a “Psalm of Ascents” which is a grouping of Psalms that Hebrew sojourners would sing while on their way up to the annual festivals held on Jerusalem’s temple mount. Travel in ancient times was incredibly dangerous, especially in the absence of a crowd. Wild animals and bandits were known to hide in the Judean hills and ravage anyone that looked vulnerable, on their own, trying to make their own way to the festival. 

Us modern-day sojourners may navigate different types of threats in this journey of life (bodily harm, broken relationships, sorrow, anger, bitterness, pride). But our God’s care is no less sufficient. To understand His Fatherly protection, we will explore the message of Psalm 121 and its most important term, shamar.

Shamar
In Hebrew literature, if a word is repeated three times in one passage, it’s the author’s way of telling the readers the word is incredibly important. It’s like if God used a modern word processor to underline, italicize, bold, and insert multiple exclamation points to get a point across. 

Psalm 121 includes one particular Hebrew word not just three times, but six! In different English translations the word is various forms of “watch”, “protect” and “keep”. The Hebrew word underneath these six mentions is shamar, which signifies having the responsibility of  preserving something of value. 

Interestingly, the first use of shamar in the Bible is from Genesis 2:15: “The Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it.” Even before sin entered the world, God tasked Adam with tending to the garden, for its good and flourishing. Made in God’s image, Adam had the privilege to do something God Himself does–observe, attend to, treasure, protect, preserve.

Considering the word’s meaning and biblical context, the message of Psalm 121 is essentially God shouting: 

I AM your Keeper! I will do all things for your good and flourishing, whether it’s
keeping you from falling (v. 3)
staying alert to you every moment of every day (v. 4)1
guarding your vulnerable spots (v. 5)2
in all times and in all conditions (v. 6)3
wherever you are, always (v. 7-8).

Shamir
When the Jewish audience heard the word shamar in this context, they would have naturally thought of its word cousin– shamir–which by itself means “a briar, thorn, or very hard stone”. What is the connection between a keeper and thorns? 

A clue is found in the practice of shepherding. Ancient shepherds used a thick, woven hedge of thorn branches to corral their flock, protecting them from nightly predators and preventing them from straying. This corral of thorns that protected the sheep must also have wounded the shepherds who constructed them. 

Just like ancient Israelites would have connected shamar with shamir, when we hear the word “thorns” our minds are drawn to our Lord’s suffering. The Crown of Thorns pressed into the head of the Lamb of God was only the beginning of the wounds He would bear to ensure He could keep us and our babies for all eternity. 

Divine Keeping
Though Adam was charged with keeping Eden, his failure at the Fall meant he would perpetually struggle to guard the earth and tend it well. So, the earth grew its own protection, in the form of “thorns and thistles”  (Gen 3:17-19). 

We, too, fail often. Our bodies fail. Doctors fail.  

And we, too, grow our own bristly protection against the penetrating pain of loss. 

Yet thorns and thistles were not God’s original design. Predators and straying sheep were not His original design. Baby loss was not his original design. 

But He is still His original self. He was always our Keeper. Even when we cannot keep what we love on this earth, God is still our Keeper and the Keeper of our babies. By His willingness to be wounded, they are guarded and kept in heaven as a part of our inheritance (1 Peter 1:3-5).

Here’s the wrestling point: This Keeper did not protect your baby from dying. But He is still your (and their) Perfectly Wise Protector. It may not feel that way to you. It didn’t to me for a long time. But He invites us to choose to believe it, because it’s true. I have to make that choice daily, despite circumstances that would say otherwise. Will you? 

Wrestling with you,
Kelly

Song: The Lord is Your Keeper by Todd Fields 

Notes
1. In the Ancient Near East (the area where Israel is located), the pagan gods were often depicted as sleeping because they needed rest. Ancient texts recount how the gods would ‘complain’ about humans waking them up with their requests, and subsequently punishing them. Our God never sleeps because He doesn’t need it and because He doesn’t want to leave us for a moment.
2. A soldier carried his shield in his left hand so that his right hand was free to grab and use his sword. But, this arrangement left his right side exposed and vulnerable to harm, so he always sought to have an ally on his right hand side. Our God places Himself between our vulnerable spots and their threats.
3. The Judean sun was devastatingly hot and at times fatal. In ancient times, the moon was associated with illness (where the term “moonstruck” comes from). With God placing himself near you, the seen and unseen dangers of the day and night cannot ultimately harm you.

Kelly is the Ministry Support Lead for Hope Mommies. She and her husband Dan live in Brenham, TX with their two earthside children, Annabelle and Eli (and lots of pets). Their firstborn, William, went to Heaven in July 2017. To balance out the fullness of life, Kelly enjoys gardening, yoga, and sipping on some matcha while reading historical fiction. She considers herself beyond privileged to share the amazing news of Jesus’ Hope to all who need it, and loves that William gets to be a part of that message.