Come Just As You Are

Over the years, I’ve noticed something about the women who come to the Hope Mommies Retreat. No two of them ever arrive the same way. Some come only weeks after saying goodbye to their baby. Others have carried their grief for decades. Some have named their babies. Some haven’t. Some are crying before they even step through the doors, while others wonder why they haven’t cried in months. Some arrive exhausted from sleepless nights, anxious thoughts, and the weight of carrying grief that few people around them truly understand. Others come feeling surprisingly steady, only to discover that the weekend gently uncovers places in their hearts they didn’t even realize still needed the care of their Shepherd. Every woman arrives carrying something different, but every woman is welcome.

I think one of the enemy’s greatest lies is convincing grieving mothers that they somehow need to be “doing better” before they can receive care. We often tell ourselves that we should have stronger faith by now, that we should understand God’s ways more clearly than we do, that we should have stopped asking the same questions years ago, or that because our baby’s death happened so long ago, we shouldn’t still feel the ache so deeply. But can I tell you something? Your God has never asked you to come to Him after you’ve figured everything out. He’s simply invited you to come.

One of the things I love most about Psalm 23 is that the sheep never seem to have everything together. Sheep wander. Sheep grow tired. Sheep become frightened. Sheep need someone to lead them beside still waters, protect them in the valley, and guide them back when they lose their way. That is exactly why they need a shepherd… and perhaps that’s exactly why we do too.

I sometimes wonder how many women never register for retreat because they believe they’re somehow not “ready.” They tell themselves they’ll come next year when they’re in a better place spiritually, when life feels less overwhelming, when their questions aren’t so heavy, or when they feel closer to God again.

But friend, what if this retreat is one of the ways He wants to meet you? Not after you’ve found your footing, or your faith feels stronger, or your grief feels lighter, but right now, just as you are.

One of my favorite parts of retreat weekend is watching women slowly realize they don’t have to pretend. They don’t have to be the strong one or hide in the bathroom when the tears come. They don’t have to apologize for talking about their baby or worry that they’re grieving the “wrong” way. They don’t have to perform for anyone. They simply get to come and just be present.

They get to sit beneath the teaching of God’s Word. They get to worship when they have the strength or just sit and be sung over when they don’t. They get to receive prayer. They get to rest. They get to breathe. And they get to be reminded that they are deeply loved by a God who has faithfully walked with them every step of the way.

As our team continues preparing for February, I’ve found myself praying for women whose names I don’t even know yet. Perhaps one of those women is you. Perhaps you’ve been reading these emails and wondering if you should come, but something keeps you from signing up and a nagging voice in your ear seems to whisper that this retreat is probably for someone else. If that’s you, I hope you’ll hear my heart when I say this. If your soul feels weary… If your faith feels like it’s barely hanging on… If your questions feel bigger than your answers… If you simply long to spend a weekend with women who understand while together fixing our eyes on Jesus… Then I believe there is a place for you here.

You don’t have to come with everything figured out or feeling strong. You don’t even have to come knowing exactly what you need because, often in grief, we don’t know what we need. We simply know we’re tired, we’re hurting, and we long for someone to remind us what is true.

So come. Let us open God’s Word with you. Let us pray with you. Let us remember your baby. Let us worship beside you. Let us gently lift your eyes to Jesus again and again throughout the weekend, reminding you of His goodness, His faithfulness, and His presence.

We would be SO honored to welcome you this February.

Jennie is the Executive Director for Hope Mommies. She and her husband Brian live in Oregon and have four children together— Trenton, Paige who has been in Heaven with Jesus since 2010, Mason, and Cora. If you were to knock on her front door today, you’d find her in something comfortable drinking a hot cup of tea, while trying to figure out how to balance all the things that make up a life. She enjoys spending time in God’s word, fresh flowers, board games with her kids, cooking, and evening walks in her neighborhood. She adores being a new creation in Christ and prays she reflects Him well on this earth.