Blessed Are the Merciful

“Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.”
-Matthew 5:7

Isn’t that a nice verse?  I really like the second part. I want God to show me mercy when I mess up. However, the first part, that’s not my favorite. Sometimes, I don’t want to show mercy. There have been times when people have really hurt me, and extending mercy to them is the last thing I want to do. So, is it really fair for God to ask us to show mercy all the time?  And what about those people who don’t even acknowledge that they’ve wronged you? Is it really necessary to be merciful to them?

First, I think we need a definition of mercy. It’s defined as: compassionate or kindly forbearance shown toward an offender. (Webster’s)

Oftentimes, mercy and forgiveness are used interchangeably. The big difference I see is that while forgiveness lets go of anger and resentment, mercy is the overall process. Mercy refers to the kind and forgiving treatment of someone who has hurt us.

Kind and forgiving? 

That’s not how I feel like acting when I’m hurting. So why show mercy?

It’s a command.

“Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.”
-Luke 6:36

It doesn’t say “only if they beg for mercy.”  It doesn’t say “Be merciful, but only the one time.”  God tells us to be merciful because He shows mercy. We are to emulate Him in our actions and in our words. It’s not the easy thing, but it’s the right thing. And it’s what God has called us to do. God desires an intimate relationship with us. We can’t have that relationship if we are living in disobedience to His Word.

We have been shown mercy.

We are to show mercy because that’s what God has given us. It’s not what we deserve, not what we have earned, but what He so freely bestows on us.

In Matthew 18:21-35, we hear the parable of the unmerciful servant. The story begins with Peter asking Jesus how many times he should forgive someone. Peter, feeling magnanimous, throws out “up to 7 times” as an option. Giving someone 7 chances seems generous to me. But Jesus responds, “not seven times but seventy times seven.” 490 times!?! Really, Jesus?!?

He then goes on to tell the story of a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. The king summoned one man who owed him 10,000 bags of gold. The servant was unable to pay but begged for mercy. The king took pity on him and even canceled his debt. Then, the servant goes out and finds a fellow servant that owes him 100 silver coins. He starts choking the man and demanding his money. The man begs for mercy, but the servant who was just shown infinitely more mercy, refuses and has the man thrown into prison. When the king heard what happened, he rebuked the servant for not showing mercy, had him tortured and in-prisoned, and reinstated his debt. Jesus used this parable to illustrate how God will treat those who don’t show mercy.

I don’t believe the torture and imprisonment will be physical but rather mental and emotional, which brings me to my final reason for showing mercy:

It frees you.

We are trapped in a prison of our own making when we refuse to forgive and extend mercy. We want to hurt the person who has hurt us by not showing mercy, but the person we end up hurting the most is ourself. Anger, bitterness, resentment—when we trap these emotions inside, they suck the life from us. They suffocate all joy until we are left as a shell of the person we once were. When we show mercy, we release these toxic feelings and allow the Holy Spirit to breathe peace into our soul.

Mercy is not an act of weakness but a demonstration of great strength and wisdom. We realize that all of us, as humans, do things we shouldn’t do and say things we shouldn’t say. Mercy doesn’t excuse wrong actions but chooses to bless with grace instead of condemn with anger. Mercy lives out the example set by Our Father and proclaims the truth of His Word.

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In His great mercy He has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead.”
-1 Peter 1:3

But what about those people who haven’t even asked for forgiveness for hurting us? How can we show mercy if they won’t even acknowledge the wrong they’ve done? 

We let it go. We release our grip on hurt, so we can rest in grace. This is not grace in and of ourselves. It’s grace that only comes from God. We trust Him to right wrongs.

“But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken.”
-Matthew 12:36

“So then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God.  Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister.”
-Romans 14:12-13

There’s one more aspect of mercy that needs to be addressed. It doesn’t deal with mercy that needs to be given but rather mercy that needs to be asked for. This is a touchy subject, and I ask ahead of time for you to keep an open heart on this topic.

As women who have experienced great loss, we often default to the role of the victim. I have been wronged. I have been treated unfairly. I have suffered greatly. And as a victim, I feel entitled to venting my anger.

The cashier messed up my order, so I get ticked off.

It’s ok. I’m a victim.

Mom doesn’t seem as sympathetic as she should, so I snap at her.

It’s ok. I’m a victim.

My friend just told me she’s expecting, so I rage about how insensitive she is to my feelings.

It’s ok. I’m a victim.

My husband doesn’t grieve in the same way I do, so I lash out and accuse him of not loving our baby as much as I did.

It’s ok. I’m a victim.

Except… it’s not ok. And we haven’t been playing the victim. We’ve been the perpetrator and have taken shots at all of the people in our lives. Making them our victims.

Maybe that’s not you. But maybe it is. And if it is, there are some people you need to have a conversation with. You may have spoken or acted from a very hurt and broken place, but that does not excuse your behavior. I say this out of love and experience, sweet sister. There have been many times that I have had to come to a family member or friend with hat in hand asking for their forgiveness — for them to show mercy on me. It’s humbling, but it’s also liberating. Repentance sets us free from the bondage of sin. Praise be to God!

So whether it is extending mercy or asking for mercy, we know this is God’s will for us. Don’t waste another day holding on to anger or playing the victim. Through Christ, we are victorious! Let’s live lives of freedom and grace.

“But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.”
-1 Corinthians 15:57

Stephanie Blanks is married to Matt and has four children: Lyston (9), Kinley (who went home to Jesus in 2011), Levi (6), and Leighton (4). Stephanie works at the Chamber of Commerce in her small town of Hondo, TX. She enjoys singing in her church praise band, running, reading, and spending time with her family at the lake. You can read more from Stephanie on her blog.