Be Devoted to One Another: His Story

“Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.”
-Romans 12:9-12

Romans 12 is really a remarkable chapter. It encourages us to use our differing gifts to build one another up (vv. 3-8). It goes on to define the love we are called to have for each other; one that is sincere, dedicated to goodness, devoted, self-sacrificing, and zealously serving to God’s glory (vv. 9-11). Finally, Paul describes the outworking of this type of lifestyle that can even withstand hardship and persecution as being joyful in hope, patient, full of prayer, hospitable, eager to bless, compassionate, harmonious, humble, peaceful, and meek (vv. 12-21).

I could remark on how my wife has been an example of this type of lifestyle to me throughout our marriage but especially in our darkest days of grief. She has demonstrated this sort of Christ-like love that embodies goodness and devotion. However, that is not what has been most meaningful to me about her. If all I told you about was her self-sacrificing devotion to me—as great as it is—I would be doing you a disservice. Because her devotion is not unfounded, as if wrought from sheer willpower. Nor is it grounded in me (thank goodness). Rather her devotion is rooted in something far deeper and stronger that is worthy to receive all of it. And that is what is most meaningful to me about her.

You see, Romans 12:3-21 is built upon verses 1-2 (which in turn are built upon all of Romans 1-11). To summarize, those verses caution us to “not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind” and to “offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.”  In other words, we find the strength and zeal to live out verses 3 through 21 because we have given ourselves over to God in worship and He in turn gives us new minds, ones that “may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” God not only tells us how to live, He empowers us—body and mind—to know and do His will.

But why? Why is it even worthwhile to submit ourselves as living sacrifices to God? Why is He worthy of our spiritual worship? The beginning of verse one has the key: “In view of God’s mercy.” Paul has spent the first eleven chapters of the book systematically explaining and demonstrating the amazing mercies of God to us who are all sinners (3:23), deserving eternal death (6:23), but who instead receive no condemnation (8:1), can look forward to future glory with Christ (8:15), and are empowered to be “more than conquerors through him who loved us” (8:37). 

My wife’s greatest gift to me through the pain of losing our dear daughter here on earth is the way she pointed me to the Cross. Her devotion to me was always first and foremost an outpouring of her love and devotion for our Savior. It is to Christ that she first turned in the early hours of our grief and it is to Him she continually turns for every new day. Her faith amidst the tears has inspired me more than any one act of love ever could, because it is out of her faith that all acts of love grow—even in the most barren of circumstances.

Lianna did this through praying with me during those difficult times; through scouring Scripture for nuggets of truth and promise that we could both hold onto. She wrote a Christ-exalting, Bible-saturated message to post on social media to break the news when I could barely find the words to tell a friend what happened. Noelle’s memorial service was planned by Lianna with Scripture and prayers and songs of worship interwoven throughout. And it was out of an overflow of love for God and others that she wanted to set up a memorial fund that would benefit orphans in Africa with the Gospel of Christ, to share with them the very message of God’s mercies that we were clinging to each and every day.

In short, I have best been loved by Lianna when she has put Christ first in all things. Her devotion to Christ—or rather, resting in His devotion to her—has been the anchor for her soul.  And that devotion has been my great joy to behold. I am eternally grateful for the partner that God has given me in Lianna, that through good times and bad we are devoted to one another—in view of God’s mercies.

Tyler is a passionate follower of Christ who lives in Illinois. He is husband to Lianna and dad to his two girls, one who lives in heaven and one who lives on earth.

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