1104 results for author: Ashlee Schmidt

Dear Chance: A Letter to my Hope Baby

Dear Chance, It is hard to believe that eight years have passed since I held your tiny body in my arms, admired your cute-as-a-button nose, and soaked in every detail of your being. Those early days after saying goodbye were filled with deep sadness, pain, and grief. The tears came heavy and often, hitting with a force so sudden it took my breath away. A tear-stained pillow was my common companion as light gave way to darkness. Slowly, as days passed and time kept inching on, the space between the blows of grief widened ever so slightly. And again, ever so slightly, until eventually joy reclaimed its proper place and I discovered purpose in the ...

Rachel’s Story

2022 was a year of loss for my family. We lost a job, friends, a church we called family, our home, and our four babies in two pregnancies. My husband got a job in another state and lived apart from our living children and I for three months. When it came time to leave our home, my heart felt the grief all over again. The waves crashed hard and strong. I was leaving the only home, my babies knew, although they had only been in the womb. We lost two pregnancies, our girls, Eba, River, and Vale in April, and then Karad in October. I lost the girls at the end of our first trimester, and Karad at the eight week mark. All four of them only knew this ...

The Heart of Grief

Is grief an appropriate emotion for a Christian to display? The short answer is: yes. In response to grief I often hear some version of the phrase, “We miss our loved one, but we know where they are and we will see them again.” While this truth can certainly anchor our hope, I think sometimes this phrase can unknowingly revoke a person’s right to grieve and feel the true weight of loss. Grief is an entirely natural, normal, and dare I say good response to loss. We see it modeled many times in the Bible, even by God himself. But just like any emotion, it has the ability to run rampant and take over our minds and hearts. Grief is an emotion we ...

The Gift of Steadfastness

In the year that King Uzziah died I saw the Lord sitting upon a throne, high and lifted up; and the train of His robe filled the temple. Above Him stood the seraphim. Each had six wings: with two he covered his face, and with two he covered his feet, and with two he flew. And one called to another and said: “Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of hosts; the whole earth is full of His glory!” And the foundations of the thresholds shook at the voice of him who called, and the house was filled with smoke. And I said: “Woe is me! For I am lost; for I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have ...

In the Word: The Throne of Grace

Welcome to Hope Mommies In the Word devotionals. Over the next few weeks, we will be meditating on themes of God's mercy. As we study these truths together, we’d love you to use the comments as a place to dialogue with us about what you are learning and share your answers to the questions below. We pray that you hearts will be encouraged as you dig into God's Word each week with us!  "Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need." Hebrews 4:16 READ: As I grow to have a higher and higher view of God being God—creating and owning me, being pure and ...

I Know Why I Weep

There she stood, outside of Jesus’ tomb. Stooping to look inside, her weeping formed a river of anguish. She did not yet know that her Lord was risen.  Instead of Jesus’ body within that tomb, Mary Magdalene beheld two angels. Sitting, dressed in white. They knew that Jesus had risen.  So they asked Mary, “Woman, why are you weeping?” Why was she weeping in that tomb-garden? As I read of her answer recorded in the Gospel of John (chapter 20), I think that her reason is at the root of all tears of sorrow, in a sense.  “They have taken away my Lord…” she said.  Hers were genuine tears, tears for her greatest treasure—but not ...

Receiving More of the Lord

As I look back over the years since I first experienced the devastating loss of two my babies, I can see how I have experienced more of Jesus than I would have been ready to embrace had I not walked through this valley of grief. Because this valley has led me straight to the heart of God, and it has been because of this sorrow that I have been able to, in some small way, identify with Christ’s sorrow. These years have pushed me further and deeper into the embrace of my loving God, and into a position of deep security and peace in the arms of the One who knows what it feels like to be weighed down by grief and pain. So even in this place where tears ...

Abigail’s Story

My husband and I were at the hospital for a routine 20-week ultrasound for our second daughter. She had a strong heartbeat and was very active, but the exam took longer than it should have, and anxiety started to creep in. When the doctor told us that all was not well with our baby, the bottom fell out of my heart. “Unfortunately, this baby has some things wrong with her.” Those words will forever echo in my memory. The doctor went on to explain that our baby had multiple serious physical defects, and more testing was needed to determine the exact nature of her condition. After answering our questions and going over a number of different ...

To Be Known

My daughter was born with her eyes closed. When I recall that painful day sitting in the hospital, counting her precious fingers and toes over and over again while I held her tiny frame in my hands, I wonder what color those little eyes were. I never even got to see my first baby that was born into heaven. There are so many details about my babies that my heart aches to know. I wish I knew what makes them laugh, what their favorite colors are, or if they have dimples when they smile. I wish I knew if they were left-handed like me, or right-handed like their daddy. When I think of all that I don’t know about my precious babies, another layer of ...

Honest and Humble Words

It was a Friday night, exactly thirteen days since Chance’s funeral. I was home alone with the girls while Brandon was at a baseball game with friends. This was the first night since we’d lost Chance that I would be alone for a significant amount of time. Being alone is not something that has ever bothered me, and quite frankly, I enjoy moments to myself, but during that time, as I was grieving the loss of my son, I craved faces and people and bodies. I knew I was taking a risk. I was putting myself in a vulnerable situation, but kept telling myself it would be good for me and all would be okay. I also knew that Brandon needed some time out of ...