Ask the Blog Team: How Did You Use or Avoid Social Media in the Midst of Grief?

Welcome to our Q+A series, Ask the Blog Team. In this series, the Hope Mommies blog team joins together to answer questions that are commonly asked in grief. If there is a question or topic that you have wrestled with in your grief that you would like the opportunity to see how other Hope Moms have processed or answered, we would love to hear from you. You can submit your questions here.

Girl using smartphone while in a restaurant

How Did You Use or Avoid Social Media in the Midst of Grief?

I was very open from day one about our loss. I often shared about the dichotomy of pain and hope. Yes, it was hard at times to be vulnerable, but it has been a ministry in the making ever since. I am often the voice for those who felt they could not express their pain. I believe that is what Hope Mommies does for many women also. Putting such a struggle into words is a gift to those around you. I knew I wanted to use any platform to lead others to Jesus or disciple believers on lamenting, and my loss set the stage for that.

I wrote blog posts right after Isabelle died. I had so many people suddenly watching my life, and I wanted to honor the Lord. I also wanted to encourage my faint heart, so I wrote about my sorrow, and I wrote about God’s goodness. They were messy posts, but they helped me get through the darkest period of my life. I usually started my posts with lament, but I usually ended in praise as I reflected on God’s goodness and steadfastness in my life. 

After my loss I rarely posted on facebook or instagram; my feelings felt too raw, and I didn’t really want other people’s opinions on my feelings. I did however plug into the Hope Mommies Facebook groups and found so much comfort knowing I wasn’t alone. Use the parts of social media that are helpful to you and block out the parts that are unhelpful.

My husband and I were always pretty open about our losses. He would talk about our grief as he preached, and I would write about it. Initially, I wrote simply to give myself space to process and reflect, but then I started sharing my blog posts on social media because friends and family were telling me that they were encouraged by my openness. I wanted my suffering to be a platform for the gospel, and social media was an easy way for me to share with others about the hope I had in Christ, even in the midst of grief and loss.