Amanda’s Virtual Retreat Experience

When I first heard about the Hope Mommies Retreat, I wasn’t in the best place due to losing my twins. I basically brushed off the idea of attending. I did not sign up right away. I didn’t know anyone attending. This was way out of my comfort zone, so my feelings about it were hesitant and uncertain. Was this going to be a group of women trying to be overly positive when I didn’t feel positive at all? 

Close to the end of registration, it was as if God was tugging at my heart saying, “Look, you’re at the bottom right now. You only can go up from here, right? Just try it. If you don’t like it and you don’t feel My presence, you never have to do it again.” So I paid for my registration. The bonus was that it was going to be a virtual retreat experience, so I didn’t have to go anywhere for it. 

Oh my goodness! I was in for it in the best way. I have to admit, from the place I was in at the time, I wasn’t going into the retreat with the best attitude. But I am insanely thankful I listened to God’s calming whisper and went. 

I connected with so many women. They didn’t pretend, “Oh, it’s rainbows and sunshine because we have the Lord.” They truly provided tools, resources, companionship, likeness, vulnerability, worship, and rawness. I mean, I could go on. They did not sugar coat the pain of our losses. Instead, they validated our hard feelings, had the tough conversations, and their workshops helped you work through different aspects of loss and grief.

In the end, I was on fire for God and had hope again. This was something that I thought I had truly lost after losing my twins, Ethan and Eli, abruptly at 31 weeks and 4 days via emergency C-section. Not only did I meet other mothers who have walked through loss, but I met other twin-loss moms which was extra special to me. We all are still connected to this today. 

My most favorite aspect were the breakout sessions. For me personally, I felt like this was the golden nugget of the retreat. There were various topics to choose from, and you got to pick the ones you wanted to attend. They were all recorded and available to go back to watch afterwards though, so you still had the benefit from the other sessions you didn’t do during the retreat. In the breakout sessions they focused on specific topics and how they related to us in our loss. They offered tools to use to cope, questions to help probe our thoughts, Bible verses for reference and reassurance of hope, and opportunities for us to share. That was the best part!

There were so many opportunities to share if you felt inclined. At first, some of us didn’t want to be open, but that quickly changed. It felt like such a safe place. Everyone began sharing and we felt understood and validated—finally finding hope that one day we would progress and get to a better place. 

The retreat gave me a breath of fresh hope I would say. I was suffering from severe depression, and this retreat, along with routine counseling, helped turn my life around. 

If you are on the fence, take it from me—the person who eye-rolled and sighed saying, “What could this even offer me? I’m hopeless.” Trust me. You have everything to gain. I am glad I attended, because I found hope, resources, and lasting friendships. I will certainly come back for the 2021 retreat and I hope to “see” you there! 


Registration for our 2021 Virtual Retreat Experience digital package is now extended through June 30th.

We want to invite you in to spend two days with us as we Selah together. You don’t have to be ashamed to come broken, angry, hurting, questioning, nervous, or healing—we want you as you are. We want to hear your story—and not the summed up or detached version we Hope Moms so often share with others—but rather the long and heartfelt story of your baby and your grief, because you are safe to be your baby’s mom with us. In fact, that’s what we want most for you! We want to provide you with space away from your everyday life where you can just be your baby’s mom and breathe. It is our great prayer that you would find rest, connect with the Lord, make friends, and be anchored to the compassion and healing that Christ offers to those who suffer. You are loved!

Learn more and register for our 2021 Virtual Retreat Experience HERE.


- Amanda Chau

Hope Mom to Ethan and Eli


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