A Very Special Baptism

I’ve been a follower of Jesus for most of my life. My parents raised my two sisters and me in the church and in a strong Christian household. When it came to baptism, our parents wanted us to make that decision for ourselves. They never pressured us into getting baptized. As a child, I thought baptism was for new Christians only, and since I wasn’t a new Christian, it seemed weird for me to be baptized. I was also really shy. If my sisters weren’t going in front of everyone at church, neither was I!

As I grew older, I understood that baptism wasn’t just for new Christians. It is an outward representation of the rebirth into life with Jesus. It is meant to show the world the internal baptism of the Holy Spirit, which I knew I had experienced. I wanted to be baptized, but I knew I wanted it to be special. My sisters were each baptized in their churches as adults. I prayed that it would be clear when the right time for me would be.

“We were buried therefore with Him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life. For if we have been united with Him in a death like His, we shall certainly be united with Him in a resurrection like His.”
Romans 6:4-5

For many years, my husband and I struggled to find a church that felt like home. We visited dozens of churches, and I was always too critical. The worship was too much like a rock concert performance, the pastor had a Rolex, everyone looked at us as if we stole their pew… the list went on.

The months leading up to our move from Norman, OK to Chapel Hill, NC, I prayed everyday that we would find a church where we belonged in our new home. When we arrived in Chapel Hill we visited a couple churches that were just alright. I was about to settle for one, thinking that the “home” feeling I was searching for didn’t exist. No church is perfect; we would just need to commit to one. The next week we visited another new church, and amazingly it did have the “home” feeling I was looking for. The casual family atmosphere in an elementary school gym, the humble pastor, the welcoming congregation, and the soulful, folky worship music were not perfect, but they were exactly what we needed.

I finally felt that this was were we belonged. I knew when they announced baptism sign-up that this was the time, so on September 9, 2018 I was baptized. Few people knew, but at the time, I was 10 weeks pregnant with our daughter Ginny. She was with me when I was metaphorically buried and raised back to life. My husband pulled us out of the water—it was very special moment. I didn’t know then just how special that moment really was.

Ginny passed away in the womb at 34+ weeks at the end of February 2019. I don’t believe that babies who die need to be baptized in order to go to heaven, but nonetheless Ginny was with me when I was baptized. That memory of us together is one of the few that I have. I will treasure that forever. It was a powerful moment for me as a follower of Jesus and as a mother.

As much as I wish Ginny was with us now, and as much as I wish I was raising her here, it warms my heart to think that she was born directly into heaven. She first opened her eyes to the glory and love there. She was “born again” before she was ever born on earth. The presence of God that I felt when I was baptized was a small fraction of the presence of God she has felt from the beginning.

“But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body to be like His glorious body, by the power that enables Him even to subject all things to Himself.”
Philippians 3:20-21

I am thankful that God allowed me to experience baptism with Ginny inside—giving me a wonderful memory with her. I also know that God answered my prayer for a church family right when we needed it most. Our church family was there for us in our time of crisis. The pastors visited us and prayed over us. Our home group gave us a wonderful care package and brought us meals. Even though things did not play out the way we would’ve chosen, it is clear that God was with us and laid the groundwork for the support we needed in advance.

“It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; He will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.”
Deuteronomy 31:8

Aimee lives in Cary, North Carolina with her husband Daniel. They moved there from Oklahoma in January 2018. Aimee is Hope Mom to her beautiful daughter Ginny Hope who was born February 26, 2019. She and Daniel are learning to trust God and move forward in their grief day by day. You can read more at her blog.

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