A Song for My Soul: Blessings

Music has the ability to speak into the deepest recesses of our hearts. God often uses songs to speak hope and encouragement to our souls. In this series, Hope Moms share songs that have pointed them to the hope of Christ in the midst of their grief. Is there a song that has comforted you in your grief? We’d love to have you share your story here.

Music is such an amazing gift. Songs have a way of speaking to our soul and ministering to our mind. The first time I heard the song “Blessings” by Laura Story was two months after losing Kinley. I remember tears just pouring down my cheeks. The song captured the emotions I felt, yet grounded me in the truth I knew:

We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

‘Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we’d have faith to believe

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not our home

What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
What if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise

The first verse of the song offers pretty standard, simple requests. Peace, comfort, protection, healing, and prosperity—these are things we all pray for on a regular basis. But healing, that’s what jumped out at me. I had fervently prayed for the healing of my daughter. I had begged God to miraculously heal her brain.

The brain He had allowed her to be born with.
The brain that did not work like it was suppose to.
The brain that ended her life.

Then the verse finishes with this reminder of truth: “[God] hears each spoken need, yet loves us way too much to give us lesser things.“ But how could healing her brain be a lesser thing? We’ll get to that in a bit.

In verse 2, the song begins to resonate even more deeply with me. I had prayed for the doctors to have wisdom in treating my daughter, that there would be a solution. I prayed for an answer from God, that there would be another way. I cried in anger when God seemed silent, and doubted His goodness and love when Kinley wasn’t healed. Then comes another reminder of truth along with a challenge: “[God] hears each desperate plea and longs that we’d have faith to believe” in Him and His Word, which contains His promises, and shows His character.

The chorus makes me reevaluate my thinking. What if God sees things differently than me? What if He knows more than I do about the situation? What if the healing and blessings that I’ve prayed for, have come in a different form? Which brings me back to the question from verse 1: How could healing her brain be a lesser thing? God’s plan for Kinley’s life was not healing her here, but perfect healing in heaven. Kinley was spared all the hurt, pain, and suffering that is present here on earth. My sweet girl knows only joy.

Blessings in disguise.

“‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the LORD.”
Isaiah 55:8 (NIV)

It was the bridge and the second chorus of this song that put everything into perspective. The pain, the disappointment, and the aching are reminders that this world is not our home. Our hearts long for heaven—for our Father who holds our babies in His hands. As hope moms:

Our blessing is having an intimate knowledge of the hope of heaven.
Our blessing is experiencing God’s overwhelming comfort and peace.
Our blessing is a deeper faith that has surrendered to God’s sovereignty.
But it’s our choice to accept these blessings, to claim them as our own.

There is so much more to life than what we see. We cannot fathom all the ways in which God is working. He uses people, even our sweet babies who are no longer here, to bless others, and minister to them during their season of sorrow.

In college, I was part of a sorority. They were a great group of girls, but after college, I only kept up with one or two of them. However, God brought several of these women back into my life. He used these sweet ladies, who had also lost their babies, to speak truth and encouragement to me. Katie, Whitney, Emily, and Kristen all played key roles in my journey to healing. They looked beyond their own grief to minister to me in my grief. Therefore, the short lives of their babies Reese, Kate, Ty and Jake, and Addie were all used as a blessing to me and the many others their mommas have encouraged.

Five years after having Kinley, my wonderful sister-in-law, Callie, lost my nephew, Max, at 20 weeks. I was able to pour into her what had been poured into me—empathy, comfort, and hope. Kinley’s life has blessed Callie, just like Callie uses Max’s life to bless other hope moms. It’s a cycle of blessing instead of bitterness, a legacy of hope instead of despair.

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.”
2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (NIV)

The story of Joseph also comes to mind. Joseph was sold into slavery by his brothers, falsely accused, and imprisoned. These were not good things, but they led to Joseph saving a nation from famine. God worked in difficult circumstances to bring about extraordinary good.

“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.”
Genesis 50:20 (NIV)

I know the pain of not having my prayer requests answered in the way that I had hoped. But I also know the joy of watching God bring beauty from ashes. My Kinley is not with me here on earth, but God has used her life and continues to use her life for His glory. Sweet mommas, our God is so merciful that from our deepest sorrows, He can bring our greatest blessings.

“And provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the Lord
for the display of His splendor.
Isaiah 61:3 (NIV)

Stephanie Blanks is an elementary school teacher turned stay-at-home mom. She is married to Matt and has four children: Lyston (7), Kinley (who went home to Jesus in 2011), Levi (4), and Leighton (2). Stephanie enjoys singing in her church praise band, running, reading, and spending time with her family.

Are you a writer who would like to join the blog team? Learn more and apply here.