12 Days of Christmas {Remembering Your Baby}
“As a Hope Mom or Dad, the first round of holidays is always the worst. Their absence is tangible to you, and you wonder how you can eat and be merry while your heart is bleeding out. It’s always difficult to know how to honor your baby in the holiday season – do you put up a stocking? Do you take a family photo — with our without a special item or photograph of them? Do you talk about him or her?
My story is by no means the “ideal” — all grief journeys are unique, just as each Hope Baby and family are unique. But I want to share what my husband and I do to honor our Gwenny in special ways during this season:
1) Pumpkins are a visible reminder of Gwendolyn to us. We had gone to a pumpkin patch a few days before her birth, and my belly was twice the size of a normal pumpkin (yes, really.) We keep pumpkins on our mantle until Thanksgiving festivities are over.
2) When we list what we’re grateful for, Gwendolyn is always on our list. We talk about her to her younger brother, and are not shy about bringing her up with others.
3) As I begin to set out Christmas decorations, I hang a stocking for her right up there with the rest of ours. Each year I have written her a letter for Christmas, and keep them stuffed in her stocking.
4) I add a new ornament each year that is special for her.
5) I take a poinsettia to her grave. Quite honestly, it’s still difficult to visit her headstone, but as I go I remember, “One day this will all be undone…”
I know that it’s easy to be wounded by others at tender seasons, like holidays and birthdays. It’s easy to think that others have forgotten. They haven’t — they just don’t know what to say. And if they say nothing, be “slow to anger” (James 1:19). Its your job as the parent to remember and to honor your Hope Baby. Genuinely honor — not to shove the loss and ache in the face of others, but to lovingly remember them.”
Erin Cushman, Hope Mom to Gwendolyn
Today, we are excited to partner with Una from Dressage Couture for Day 4 of our Christmas Giveaways. Una has graciously donated the Hope Wreath pictured above in this post to our readers. One winner will be chosen at midnight tonight to receive this beautiful product!
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Jen Baedke
December 4, 2015 (1:02 pm)
We celebrate our Jayden with getting a new ornament for his tree.
Christin Burris
December 4, 2015 (1:09 pm)
We always buy a Christmas ornament for each of our kids including our babies in Heaven. Anslee loves to help pick them out 🙂 We also put flowers out at Jackson’s grave.
Gina Shulse
December 4, 2015 (1:21 pm)
I’m remembering Jaron this year by sharing him with others for the first time in my church.
Lindsey Jacko
December 4, 2015 (1:39 pm)
Today is my sweet boys 1st birthday. My mom purchased an ornament with his name on it last year. I bought stockings for my husband, daughter and myself in red. I purchased one for my son in white.
Amy
December 4, 2015 (1:46 pm)
We always buy a new ornament for our tree in Levi’s memory.
Becca
December 4, 2015 (1:57 pm)
We buy an ornament for the tree to remember her just like we do for our other daughter, we hang up a stocking for her, and in the past we have given a gift in her name.
Courtney
December 4, 2015 (1:57 pm)
We always honor our Savannah by hanging all her ornaments on our tree and lighting her special candle on Christmas. I also knit for NICU babies all year in honor of her. ❤❤❤
Nina
December 4, 2015 (2:37 pm)
As this is our first Christmas without Auddie, we are still trying to figure out how to include her in the best way. I like getting her stocking because right now just the two of ours on the mantle doesn’t seem right. We got her a special ornament for the tree and I think we will continue to get her one every year.
Elyse
December 4, 2015 (4:37 pm)
I have a special ornament to remember my 3 babies.
Jerrie
December 4, 2015 (5:55 pm)
This is our first year. We bought a angel wing ornament in her memory
Dagmar M
December 4, 2015 (10:05 pm)
We have a special ornament to remember our loved one
Shay
December 5, 2015 (2:42 am)
I love this!! It would be perfect!!
Jennifer
December 5, 2015 (3:37 am)
I’m going to have a stocking for my 2 hope babies. 🙂
Amanda
December 5, 2015 (4:05 am)
We have Jeremiah’a ornament ready to put on the tree tonight!
Elizabeth McGlasson
December 5, 2015 (5:55 am)
By making a home made special Ornament!
Ashlee Schmidt
December 5, 2015 (6:05 am)
Congratulations Meghan Ferguson Savant! You have won our Day 4 Giveaway! Please check your e-mail tomorrow for further instructions on how to receive these items!
And thank you for everyone who participated!
Continue to follow the blog over the next 8 days for a chance to win one of our other giveaways in this 12 Days of Christmas series!